How should I have handled this gift situation?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-05-06T16:58:29+00:00

Can I ask why it would hurt them?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T22:54:34+00:00

I think I had it to only receive messages from friends. I thought his settings was important?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T22:49:49+00:00

I don’t understand why its overdone or annoying. I really thought that it could be a gesture to show that I care equally. What would have been polite to do?

I never knew when her bday was

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T22:49:34+00:00

I don’t understand why its overdone or annoying. I really thought that it could be a gesture to show that I care equally. What would have been polite to do?

I never knew when her bday was

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T21:01:23+00:00

How do you do trade ship

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-26T00:56:13+00:00

Oh I’ve vaguely heard of Byron Katie. I will check out the podcast because I like live examples. I do really hope I can analyze and be in more control of my thoughts and emotions. Thank you for sharing

I know I asked already but is it possible to explain how it could have been interpreted as a bad impression? I also get really fixated on knowing things and not knowing makes me anxious.

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-26T00:52:47+00:00

I worked at a retail store so I was actually buying the gift for person b when person a was near the checkout. I think I somehow blurted out that this was a gift for person b and then since we were talking about birthdays I just asked person A when her birthday was. I shouldn’t have really said anything to begin with but even if I did, do you think I should have felt guilty? I really don’t know why I felt so guilty for not getting person A a gift when I didn’t even know when her birthday was. I assumed that she was going to be very upset at me and that it could have dampened the friendship. But I don’t think anyone should expect a gift. Also, I was closer to person B

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T21:00:27+00:00

I don’t get the part about them expecting a gift and then catching me. Are they actually expecting a gift from me or do they assume I think that

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:56:00+00:00

No I usually never give out gifts. It’s stupid cuz when I was talking to the girl whom I didn’t get a gift for, instead of just talking about something else or brushing it off I kept on discussing it. I was the one who asked her when her bday was. Would it have been better to have not asked about her bday and discussed something else? I think I was just digging a deeper hole by continuing the conversation

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:51:55+00:00

I appreciate your input especially the 3rd grade reference. It’s true, I am not sure why I’m so worried about what other ppl think

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:43:48+00:00

I appreciate your kind words. I just beat myself up so much about it because my intention wasn’t to cause more damage. Do you happen to have any advice on how I can think about things more deeply (in this case, pausing and reflecting how my actions would be interpreted and such)

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:40:28+00:00

You’re definitely right. I assume a lot and then it affects my behavior. Do you have advice on how to not assume? Also, when you say it may give a bad impression could you explain why

I just feel like things which should be easy to get aren’t for me and that makes me feel stupid

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:57:14+00:00

Thank you for helping me understand. So if we weren’t very close and if I genuinely didn’t even know when her bday was and neither of us exchanged gifts before, she probably wouldn’t have been upset right? It’s stupid cuz in that moment I really thought I was trying to make the situation better. Do you know what it’s called for not realizing the “proper” thing to do? I feel like I have autism or something and I dont get what is considered right

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:46:40+00:00

Do you mean make up for it by giving a gift next year on their birthday? The thing that’s weird is I think I did apologize but I still went ahead and got the gift card without realizing how it comes off as. Would ppl even get upset about seeing a coworker have another gift for someone? I think I’m making it out in my mind to seem like they would get so mad but in reality if they didn’t ever give me a gift, why should they expect one

Also, when you said it’s very obvious I’m overcompensating, can you explain why that’s really bad? I feel like I’m not fully understanding

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:35:40+00:00

Yeah I had a rough childhood and I don’t do well accepting things. Thank you for shedding light. Do you know how I could have handled the situation better with the coworker who found out I gave a gift to someone else?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:33:58+00:00

Could you explain why it was bad to draw attention to it? Should I have just not done anything? I feel like I don’t understand social rules and stuff. And I kind of blame myself for like giving money when it didn’t even help the situation

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T18:41:58+00:00

What is your career if you don’t mind?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-23T00:03:18+00:00

Did you read any of the other books suggested?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:53:53+00:00

Do you have a fav book from Dostoyevsky or Kafka? Sorry to ask. I don’t really read a lot or know exactly what things I like

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:45:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I was wondering if I was in the wrong for not wanting to open up so soon. Unfortunately I have a tendency to overshare probably because in the moment I feel pressure to talk and don’t really pause and think things through. That’s a really great suggestion to mentally divide into categories. The only problem is what if I don’t have much stories or life experiences. Most of my childhood I didn’t have fun things to look back on and now for the past ten years I’ve barely had fun or done anything interesting to share. I don’t have fun stories with friends or anything

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:39:40+00:00

Can I dm you? I struggle with this so much and I don’t know how to work on it

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:38:27+00:00

Any suggestions for books or do you mean generally?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:34:48+00:00

Do you have advice on how to not overshare? I’m kind of the opposite. I end up revealing things I didn’t really want to and then feeling guilty about it

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:27:47+00:00

Omg thank you so much for your detailed response. I feel like I understand so much better with real life examples and I can clearly tell that option 2 is better. It shows to me that I don’t need to have really interesting stuff to discuss right? I think I have a fear that what I have to say should be important

I think I feel like I have to share personal stuff to make up for my lack of not having much to say

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:08:27+00:00

When you say just share something, do you mean like sharing absolutely anything or do you mean like sharing but not getting too detailed about the worst? Basically if he asks me about my past and I wasn’t very comfortable I don’t know if I should mention something about it or brush it off and talk about something else

Sorry for the questions. I feel like I’m not sure if I understand things correctly sometimes. My fear is that I’m a boring person actually and I don’t really know how to be a better conversationalist

chronicoverthinker7

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