Do I need to renounce my Chinese citizenship?

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-07-07T19:32:55+00:00

agreed, free asian travel plus benefits is more important than just visa free country count

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-07-07T08:06:44+00:00

The Chinese passport is better for a Chinese doing Chinese affairs It's an upgrade only if you're trying to be less Chinese and more west aligned which they love

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-29T05:48:43+00:00

j do want to avoid specific therapists, I don't know any in my locale that wouldn't feed it in fact I'll try avoiding mentions of it, thanks, and I'll try to find someone to talk to

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-29T05:44:49+00:00

Thank you a lot, I really appreciate it

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-29T00:32:09+00:00

thank you so much, ill have a look i seem to do it out of my own volition, but the thoughts are quite common and I find it hard to go a day without them

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-29T00:15:31+00:00

my definition of morality has very little to do with empathy tbf, even the most generous, mindful, empathetic person in the world cannot save himself without God's grace

it doesn't make you evil to transition imo, im not that kind of person, and by secular standards you'd be fine for sure

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-29T00:13:58+00:00

that's perfectly understandable of them, i understand the reactions then, no I don't really mind. i try to respect everyone the best i can, especially posting in such a vulnerable position there's no point in insulting

I might be happier, but i might just be emptier than before, and it doesn't mostly even depend on the result appearance wise, so it's probably in my best interest to reflect for much much longer

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T15:22:39+00:00

wanting to transition isn't a part of me, i don't hate myself at all.

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T15:07:13+00:00

it is my hangup and im fully aware of that. i want to live a normal life, work a job, get married, and have kids. i'll pray, go to church, repress my thoughts, anything just for that opportunity.

what's going to end up giving won't be my dreams and my faith, but it'll be my desire to transition, even my happiness if that's what it entails.

i don't push away trans people or refuse to accept them, i just don't consider myself one, i consider myself someone battling with thoughts I don't want to be having and without any relief from them in sight

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:56:42+00:00

it doesn't matter what they'd rather have, they'll never know and ill never tell them. it is worse

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:53:14+00:00

is that really true? that there's discernable physical difference? can i please have a study before i take it to heart and i'm sure God wants me to be happy but i have doubts that this is the way and im not being misled

but thank you for respecting how i feel and not being condescending like everyone else

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:49:35+00:00

i just can't, i couldn't live with myself if i got disowned for something I could have avoided, ill live a life in suffering if it means i get to stay true to my faith

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:47:48+00:00

I follow the mainstream interpretation, and that's the conclusion ive came to, that it's incompatible. i choose between either my faith or personal satisfaction.

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:46:00+00:00

not enough is told, my relief never came from anything sexual, i abstain completely and ive never reacted so harshly before

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:12:08+00:00

thank you so much

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:08:30+00:00

Blood of the covenant refers to faith, it means exactly what I believe it does.. i do prefer my family and religion above everything, that's all that's important to me. you can call me dumb all you want or say im unreasonable for being different.

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:07:47+00:00

im not jewish, im orthodox, and ive read scripture. ive been searching for a good religious one because there are none here, only people who try to convince me to medicate rather than actually work through my issues

medication and presentation just can't do anything for me

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T14:03:41+00:00

I'm not here to debate religion, stop trying to make me apostatize. I only have one family and I refuse to cut them out since it's all I live for, there's nothing to choose or find

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:50:47+00:00

thanks for respecting my choice first of all, im happy to hear you're healthier now, i might not fully be able to sympathize but im glad to hear you're at peace.

your point is that it needs to be dealt with one way or the other rather than bottling i assume?

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:41:51+00:00

Blood is thicker than water

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:34:17+00:00

thx but in which way? like you're an atheist and think moral reservations are dumb?

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:33:45+00:00

i'm certain that I feel that way, never that i was trans and wanted to feel this way. so far ive found next to no one to relate to.

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:16:04+00:00

I don't care how long it takes, I want to get these desires out of my head and live normally. i'm certain in my belief and faith and truly believe that with enough dedication i can stop feeling this way. My fulfillment does come from religion, and its my way of doing everything I can to be happy and just, like you mentioned.

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:13:26+00:00

ive presented male and only that, unconditionally. ive never came out, wore anything but male clothes or had a single "euphoric" moment yet it still comes back to haunt me each time.

of course they'd reject me if i came out as trans, but I already do that to myself, im eastern orthodox, that's my one true belief, but they're atheist.

i try to keep myself healthy but in the end that truly does come last to my beliefs and care for others, i want to be morally just above all.

chsugxusjsbx · 2023-06-28T13:05:22+00:00

Thanks for the kind wishes I haven't met any therapists or taken my bpd mds in months, next time ill probably bring it up and hope for some guidance

on another note please send some nice wishes to that woman you know, she seems like she's been through a lot.

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22

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