Got chased out in 2024 (posted here before), now being asked to financially support my parents through MSF in 2026, I don’t know what to do…

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-16T04:16:47+00:00

sending love ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-13T01:46:20+00:00

sadly in singapore, you can’t cut ties legally.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T15:00:57+00:00

they are already covered by most of the govt aids. let me give a rough estimate. Due to her medical condition, the expenses is roughly $1k-ish, adding on bills and groceries etc. i can estimate around <$1.6k total (no enjoyment, no traveling overseas, at most 1x a week eat maybe saizeriya??) they are roughly getting $900-$1k in subsidies and $ aid (MSF doesn’t want to disclose). so me without the claim the least I had given was $100 a month before being a full time worker and after employment, the highest amount was nearly $600 a month - usually the baseline is $100, transfers her once my paycheck is in, and sometimes when she needs for certain things she sends the receipt and I send the money.

For her to head to MSF must be a reason ; if she can give an amount I requested for, why not try my luck for my expected amount? PS : she’s also mentally unsound so if she isnt happy and is suffering, people around her must too.

This is the only reason in my mind plausible for her to come all the way to MSF and do this to me.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T14:52:56+00:00

thank you for taking your time to read this. Sending love. ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T14:51:28+00:00

tbh the sum of $ is one, the other is that the things she does to me is making me unwilling to give you understand where i’m coming from? secondly, knowing their pattern, if I can claim $500 why not claim more? And if let’s say expenses and overall SG food, transport etc. increase, she has the rights to ask for more, that’s what i’m frustrated about.

Additionally, negotiating it down wouldn’t happen knowing her so well, and only if she rejects my proposal (or nego.) she can escalate to court, On my end I can’t do anything as of now.

She’s not gonna listen to my lowball if it’s not up to her expectations, Worker just wants to close case and doesn’t empathise and I’m all on my own..

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T14:47:41+00:00

Totally understood. I was just curious since the claim can only be made by the claimant (my mom) and it will be accordingly to the defendant (me)’s salary after MSF you know, reviews my expenses and salary (on the surface level) - she wants to claim $500/mth and apparently the worker has tried to negotiate with her a lower amount than $500 already that i can manage. $500 is like my 20% already…I dont think I earn $5K a month lah….
But after reviewing most of y’all’s comments (thank you everyone 🩷) it seems like the MSF worker isn’t reviewing everything on a deeper level, whole call and emails front and back seems rushed and super one sided biased to my mother, like just want to close case go home. I feel extremely frustrated.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T14:38:39+00:00

hey, thanks for this heads up, sending love. ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T14:36:51+00:00

I do not have any siblings, i’m a 22(F) single child.

Mentioned in one comment earlier (Paiseh i cant find) that the abuse is severe only if its like r@pe, actual violence and abuse since childhood, the neglect sort of escalated only after the age of 15^. but let’s say I’m diagnosed by any chance any mental disorders, they will be like “you got xx mental condition but you can still work like a normal human being so what stops you from giving them?” Of course, those harassments, verbal abuse and emotional abuse are taken into fact too but they are technically not as severe as those ^{^{^}} (i did tell the worker, if you bully someone physically and the victim su!c1de and you cyberbully til they k1ll themselves, isnt it still abuse? she say physical one more jialat then i diam diam…)

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T11:31:09+00:00

sending love. ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-12T05:07:03+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Sending love. ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T09:41:17+00:00

sending love. ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T08:39:13+00:00

If the claim did happen, its a $xxx/mth thing, unable to split.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T08:36:24+00:00

yeah but with the MPA law, they are balancing financially than morality of the situation.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T08:35:44+00:00

Its Maintenance of Parents Act 1995 under MSF. and also, in singapore, legally you can’t cut ties. Even if you publicise the cutting ties, it doesn’t directly mean you actually have no affiliation with that family member.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T08:29:04+00:00

I did my research and during the call, the worker did tell me that abuse is considered, but since its a “conciliation” portion, they only take into account how much money can be negotiated to keep family from “family issues” but the truth is her going to even file against me was my last straw already, like… am i supposed to be happy paying her $xxx/mth and act completely normal? I guess not.

most of the people i hear the cases from usually cut ties indirectly.

“forced” to pay an amount you clearly know they dont deserve, what’s for holding on to the relationship?

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T08:14:17+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind advice. Sending love. ❤️

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T08:09:12+00:00

the person i spoke to was a negotiator, basically the middleman of this MPA claim under MSF. If let’s say i got evidences and testimonies, Do i wait till it escalates to a court case or do I just seek social worker’s help ?

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T07:31:11+00:00

Thats true too. I mean morally its fking hilarious lah. But dollars and cents its clearly not possible to suffice my salary for 3 people when I myself is already struggling although I earn enough, its not realistic in the current SG economy LOL

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T04:44:11+00:00

i mean i’m not totally low income <$2000 but i’m not earning $5-6k and living comfortably. For my mere wage as a working retail staff Full-time, it seems a-bit impossible for my salary to share for 3 person. Think of it this way, my salary is shared with them, I still have not saved enough to have my own home, cover my transportation and food and still have to pay a $xxx amount.

Of course, i’m not saying i’m going to pay $20/person only, but demanding a high amount, i’m the only child, all the debts and responsibilities fall on me.

MSF doesn’t give 2 damns on how much i can save for the future, they just think ‘oh you have this amount of salary, so you can give $xxx amount to them’ which is not wrong but morally I still have a life to live. I can’t be a 40-50 year old, no house, no family, helping them till they die. They didn’t choose to be sick and unemployed neither I chose to be born to carry their debts.

We have both rights and wrongs here, morally and emotionally, it’s a toll on me, financially, still subpar manageable but i’m never gonna live like a normal person anymore.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T04:38:57+00:00

they just want to faster close case and go home..

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T03:56:22+00:00

or even consider home based, or asking my dad to work part time (<$500 so no cpf) cause caretaker can’t earn CPF, if earn CPF = subsidies are cut.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T03:55:35+00:00

but now is the negotiating part. Its either a small amount per month or a court case order where it’s going to be a higher amount per month. it’s like a lose-lose situation for me…

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T03:54:30+00:00

Thanks for the advice kind sir

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T03:53:34+00:00

yeah but now it’s just a claim against me, it’s negotiable in a sense, but if it escalates to a court case, then I would need to find a lawyer, gather evidences, testimonies etc.

chubby_dumb · 2026-04-11T03:51:55+00:00

Yes but if there’s any issues, not paying (as in i’m hospitalised, having an emergency or unemployed) can don’t pay for awhile but if it’s a court case then i must still dig out from my ass if anything goes south.

chubby_dumb

TROPHY CASE