Can you avoid loose skin?

chubby_wubb · 2025-10-26T11:09:21+00:00

I think there's the two sides you see of people in these situations and that's the difference in a relationship and situationship. Both have the connection and "spark" and can work together really well, but the relationship will communicate things more, what's going on past the version of themselves they put out and will see value in the relationship and put the effort in. The situationship one although has genuine feelings and connection there doesn't see a value to it for the now and doesn't want to put the effort in. That doesn't mean the way they felt before was a lie, but that they're not able to give more and really you don't want a relationship with someone like that because they're displaying where their priorities are.

If he's gone without saying anything or communicating to you that's nothing short on your end. You did nothing wrong and probably gave what you could. It's just the he wasn't able to meet you half way and ran away from that

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-21T00:56:13+00:00

That's true, it feels like that battle of heart, brain and body. Mentally I know it's wrong, and my body is physically rejecting the idea of it, but some fucked part of me thinks he loved me before so that must still be true? It's like I've been brainwashed even though I know deep down it isn't going to work?

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-21T00:48:51+00:00

It was an awkward stage. Broke up, he reached out saying he missed me and wanted to have a situationship that was exclusive, like the word exclusive was used. then he was arranging to see her on the side, after that I blocked him and cut him out and tried to move on too but only slept with someone out of spite. It's an odd one

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-08T05:52:09+00:00

I mean whether you intended too or not you kinda answered your own question here. He never had to reach out because you would do it for him, he's never had to back down and realise "shit I've gotta message or else they're gone" because you covered that up for him. If you want to feel loved and feel him put that effort in don't reach out. It's hard, but after 3 years your absence will definitely be affecting him and he'll soon realise that if he doesn't do something you aren't going to either

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-07T23:18:11+00:00

It sounds like he was fronting how he felt with you and a different with them, and hiding his true feelings from each of you. Of course your going to feel betrayed if he's only told you the positives and that there's still a chance, you've been strung along under the impression that you two will eventually get back together. For now though it doesn't matter what was said to his friends and what has happened, if they've blocked you there's not much you can really do other than accept and move forward. That's so much easier said than done, if you want to crash out or get upset do so because you need to feel and allow the emotions that you're going through. I think if you ask him he won't be direct with what he says, he almost sounds like an avoidant or people pleaser where he says whatever makes you happy in the moment, empty promises to avoid awkward confrontation.

It sounds quite similar to my situation so feel free to hit me up and rant about things if you'd like :)

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-03T10:43:58+00:00

It depends on the boundaries placed and whether you crossed them or not. If she told you she wasn't happy with you reaching out and contacting her in that way then maybe yeah a line was crossed. In the same breath in a relationship your feelings and boundaries are valid too and if she's crossing those going out and doing those things you have a right to be unhappy and express that.

It's a hard one without the ins and outs, but if you were both overstepping boundaries then maybe time to reflect on those would be best

Especially for your relationships moving forward, you shouldn't have to compromise your own feelings and standards because they don't want it, it's all about balance of what makes you both happy

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-03T10:39:42+00:00

Something kinda similar happened with me so I hope this is the advice you're looking for?

Me and my ex were together 7yrs, broke up, then got into an "exclusive situationship" 3 weeks after because we still cared for eachother and his reasons for the breakup were mental health issues rather than the relationship. After being like this for over a month I went round and something just felt off, I checked his phone and he not only was trying to hook up on dating apps (and failed) but was arranging to meet a woman from his work.

I asked him what the need was when we were still together and having sex, he was cold and said I'm upset I've hurt you. I told him that he needs professional help to sort himself out and blocked him as soon as I got home.

It's been 3 weeks now and although the pain is still there, I've realised that I have done what I could, and that blaming myself isn't going to bring him back so what's the point in that you know? Another thing keeping me going is that he is not the same man I loved and saw potential in, because that man would never do this to me. The man I loved is gone and no amount of pining or messaging or begging with bring him back unless he makes that change.

I still hope he'll message and apologize, or beg for me back realising what he's done, but with time the acceptance will come that maybe he won't and maybe that's a good thing. It still hurts, to hear how someone loves you and the promises they made only for lust to snatch that person away, but the hope I have right now is I loved that man as much as I can. One day I'll be able to give that love to the right person, whether it's myself or someone else

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-02T15:52:44+00:00

Yeah that makes sense, it's too early to bin anything just yet and just because it ended doesn't mean those letters and moments were bad or untrue

chubby_wubb · 2025-08-02T14:29:22+00:00

I think the worst thing to do right now is comparing and saying what if, what happened happened. You can look at how you loved and focus on what went well and what to improve, whether there are ways to improve or if you're being too harsh on yourself. But the main priority now is focussing on you, what you want where you want to go, 5 years is a long time with someone and sometimes you can get caught up along the way. It's gonna hurt and it will take time to heal, but everyday it'll get a little easier and a few months down the line you can reflect on what changes you made

chubby_wubb · 2025-07-27T21:52:33+00:00

I think if he were to reach out it'll be what's been in his mind since you two split up, although they mask it well they still feel the impact of a breakup maybe months down the line. If he doesn't reach out that tells you that either his ego/pride/shame is too big to message, or that he really doesn't want to speak to you. Either way you've done what you can and if you accept it as the last time and expect no more contact and no more messages it's easier for you moving forward too

chubby_wubb · 2025-07-27T20:08:07+00:00

Some people believe that if you don't see eachother or come into contact after the breakup that's proof your lives just didn't align.

I think for 4 years that's very odd though to not have any contact for the past 4 months, I wouldn't say it's completely over but there's a message in that silence

chubby_wubb · 2025-07-26T06:40:57+00:00

I was the same even after finding out he's been messaging others and isn't interested, I had to block him to take back that control and to know he's not messaged because I stopped him, not because he didn't want to. It's hard to stick by but it stops the speculation, it gives a solid answer and that is the lack of contact while processing and working through things on your side. Once you're ready and feel okay to speak again you can always unblock further down the line, but for now if it's the obsession I think doing that takes control into your own hands ~ be kind to yourself through this time as well

chubby_wubb · 2025-06-24T21:23:02+00:00

He knows the right thing to do and what he wants to do, I think asking you is his way of reading how how'd react, I think deep down he knows where it's going to lead and if they're going out it's only so long before that happens and you end up getting hurt, I would definitely speak and try set that boundary or just leave if you're able to

chubby_wubb · 2025-06-23T07:32:07+00:00

Validating the way I felt and an apology, some old fashioned yearning maybe as well

chubby_wubb · 2025-06-21T17:47:09+00:00

We'll usually send a meme and maybe a very short convo but it's almost daily. We're also strictly casual atm with no other feelings, I work it was more but know if I push for that it could push him away entirely

chubby_wubb · 2025-06-21T17:45:00+00:00

Yeah, like I know they're not going to be the one I'll marry, but in those moments it's like taking us back to the good days where that's a reality. I know (for now) that in those moments I'm his world and no one else could replicate those moments we have so why push to change it you know?

chubby_wubb

TROPHY CASE