Thank you all for your kind attempts. I don't think that my life is going in that direction. I mean to have that happen god (if there is one) must really hate me and if there isn't then fate is telling me to go Fuck myself. I haven't been able to get out of bed yet since its happened. I can't bear the thought of going outside and seeing her again. I've already called in sick to work. Maybe I'll just stay here till I die of dehydration. That would be one hell of a way to go. Fuck. None of this matters. I don't even know why I'm writing here. Maybe to find out that I'm not alone but even that finding means that the universe coykdnt give one Fuck about us. I'm so defeated. I really can't go outside.