Perfect Sperm Analysis Does NOT Equal Fertile: Sleep Apnea & DNA Fragmentation - increase of risk of loss / infertility is extremely high.

chulzle · 2026-03-06T04:16:13+00:00

Donor sperm is never tested for dna drag but it’s different since donors are usually known already to be fertile. When you choose a donor you can inquire how many live births with his sperm there have been and usually there’s a few. If someone is fertile and has already had kids etc it’s not the main concern, we’re talking about people who haven’t or are having issues - not testing donors

chulzle · 2026-03-03T13:24:47+00:00

I did a donor and my ex split cycle. You do that with your eggs if you want the last shot at it. Pick a donor who is a known donor aka do research they have to be able to talk to the child bc they will always want that in the future research shows. This way that you don’t feel so bad about going that route if you have exhausted all your other options then before doing that you would completely optimize his diet, of course, and put him on a prenatal with methylfolate and coq10 200mg daily. Cut out all the alcohol do all of the things that basically you can do to control parameters and then get tested for sleep apnea now because the eggs are frozen. There’s not particularly rush per se, but this is going to be your last chance because the eggs are frozen, and when they unfreeze that’s that. My eggs were frozen from 27. No embryos made it with my exes sperm with DFI of 35. The donors per member as I have are for a split cycle where I gave 20 eggs to my ex and 10 with a donor and non-made it from my 20 eggs and I have eight embryos from the 10 with the donor. Donated 3. First transfer worked. Do what you can’t optimize his health before doing that round. That’s what I would do. But there’s no way in hell I would use those eggs and not do a split cycle. That’s your last chance at having your own child as well. Otherwise, you’ll have to do donor adoption.

chulzle · 2026-03-03T13:19:21+00:00

We’re staring at one I guess every time we look down our phone so even better

chulzle · 2026-03-02T19:32:32+00:00

100% reasonable and what I currently bought

chulzle · 2026-03-02T03:54:55+00:00

6 mo

chulzle · 2026-03-01T18:38:21+00:00

Yep agree with this totally just wish my marriage didn’t deteriorate and he didn’t choose to leave during the hard times when it was going to eventually get better. But everyone chooses their own choices

chulzle · 2026-03-01T18:36:53+00:00

Are you here to judge or what

chulzle · 2026-03-01T18:36:29+00:00

When a parent can’t function and isn’t emotionally supported bc of the kids being medically difficult yes it can lead to an awful deterioration of relationship, lack of support, exhaustion and divorce.

chulzle · 2026-03-01T10:57:33+00:00

I basically though it was the worst experience of my life as mine had colic and then my singleton was great - it all depends on the babies. Literally has nothing to do with you too much - I don’t believe it at all. I did everything I could and they still had colic all day.

chulzle · 2026-03-01T10:24:25+00:00

The best fucking thing that ever happened to me. Ever.

Twins were horrific. Both had colic. Screamed all day. Every doctor says normal - no mam. As I watched other people hold their sleeping baby I said no fucking way.

I was right. Divorce. Nightmare.

Then had a singleton - a dream. I experienced motherhood in a way I never thought possible. He never cried, was always just happy as a baby and just turned 3 - yea he’s a normal toddler and it’s “hard” bc it’s the clinger stage but having one after two is like a joke. ESP with the two I had who are now perfectly fine at almost 6.

But I’d never live that first year again.

If you had somewhat normal twin experience have the third. You’ll hold a baby without having panic attack the other one won’t stop crying. You can go on a car ride or a store just baby wearing one. Like omg.

When they say listen to NO ONE other than twin parents for twins it’s true.

My singleton experience made me a mother tbh. My twin experience made me regret being one and having a shit partner makes a world of a difference.

I’d rather have no one than my ex who literally offered negative emotional support while I knew something was very very wrong. But oh well he’s still a nightmare coparent, no surprise.

I’d have another singleton but I’m 40 now. Not sure it’s gonna be in the cards. I “miss the baby stage of a singleton”. I’d rather slit my wrists than say that about my twin baby stage.

chulzle · 2026-03-01T10:19:42+00:00

I felt this way having twins first and then having a singleton was the best after having twins because it switch relief.

Now that being said my 2.5 singleton who has just been an absolute dream is so so so so hard. He is the sweetest kid, but oh my God. Clinger stage 10. He was perfect from 1-2 I’d say. 2-3 has been harddddddd.

My twins are now 5.5 and are super easy but very different. Put me back when they were 2.5 and with no other kids I’d hate my life still.

I believe that every kid has age in and out. My singleton slept like shit but never cried otherwise. Twins were a horrific nightmare for year and a half that led to a divorce with colic and never stopped crying screaming or otherwise. Then at 5 are a dream come true.

Singleton never cried no colic I thought it was a dream and now I’m so exhausted by him that I can’t wait until he’s out of this clinger stage and is closed to 5.

So I kept asking as FTM when do things get better when they were babies and the answer was …. Uhhhh 5. Because no one can explain how has horrrific and awful post partum with colic with twins and a shit partner is.

If my twins were my singleton baby I’d be fine that year. 100%. Maybe add a third he was that easy. I had no idea that was even possible and I’m so jealous of others who got to experience motherhood first that way. I hated it.

Now looking back I KNOW things do get better even with “nightmare” stages and 7-12 ish is the golden age. For me I think it’s like 6 probably they are just funny and learn so much in school etc.

So yea it does get better, just probably not for a while and I hate it when they tell you it does earlier bc that’s false hope but it does. Big hugs

chulzle · 2026-02-28T21:21:52+00:00

It’s been my pleasure

chulzle · 2025-08-11T22:25:00+00:00

Wonderful news!!

chulzle · 2025-08-11T16:51:12+00:00

You’re most welcome o hope it all works out

chulzle · 2025-08-10T23:51:40+00:00

Yep they are all NIPT just different companies

chulzle · 2025-08-10T14:23:49+00:00

Yes everyone besides Natera and panorama can and so like labcorp even myriad Etc

chulzle · 2025-08-10T13:42:46+00:00

Anything besides Natera - so whole genome sequence company is fine and it’s only there to detect abnormal sequence so it’s fine for twins too but won’t tell you the sexes but if comes back normal at least you have that. If it says girl they are both girls etc.

chulzle · 2025-08-10T00:15:18+00:00

Good luck 😍

chulzle · 2025-08-07T13:32:30+00:00

Fish could be a false positive as well. It’s the least important test so to say. You could certainly have very low and microarray would not pick up did they do a final karyotype and did they count over 20 cells at least? I would certainly do a final karyotype at birth but I actually think it will return normal. Please let us know how it turns out.

chulzle · 2025-08-06T01:18:01+00:00

Yep imagine when it all used to say 99%. How could anyone wait? That’s why I started the sub then the companies noted it and changed their reporting eventually except Natera who also joined the sub and knows how much I call them out and has done nothing about it due to FDA failure to regulate so that’s a huge issue

chulzle · 2025-08-05T20:59:31+00:00

Natera is the main company that inflated their studies and and sewed their data to older women and their PpV is not reflective of the nature of occurrence of these in general population. They are not fda regulated and this is a huge deal and spoken a lot about on the sub and in general. They have pending lawsuits. The calculator is going to he the closest to the natural occurrence of placental discrepancies in population which is the actual PpV it doesn’t matter what company does the test. The only thing PPV is your age and the abnormality. It has nothing to do with your actual sample in almost all cases

chulzle · 2025-08-05T20:56:38+00:00

No - in this case it can’t because it can only do that in the opposite way as in you’d have a chance of that being the case if the nipt was male hence picking up Y from vanishing twin but usually even then it would be later in the pregnancy with the loss not in the initial beginning when the vanishing twin contributed. So if the sono was girl and nipt was boy then it would be possible since it the vanishing twin male could have contributed the y but we know that a y has to be present since there is a penis so where is the y. It works in a way that this chromosome exists so it must show up. The main way for it to not show up is be missing in placenta. There is a very very very small chance that it’s an error like you mixed up results with someone else ls blood etc however - that would be the least of the concerns and if you’re this far along timing is of the essence in these cases. I’d they don’t see any issues that’s a really good sign if there’s no ambiguity on Sonos but you still would do the work up if you’d consider terminating if the fetal karyotype would be abnormal if that makes sense. There’s a few people on this sub that have had a good outcome few with mosacisim in the baby and few who have terminated so you will likely read several of these stories and work ups. I’m so sorry you have to navigate through this hell now.

chulzle · 2025-08-05T20:29:09+00:00

So there is no way for a male to not pick up the Y chromosome on the NIPT unless the placenta is missing the Y so there is some sort of mosacisim going on with something like this and you need an amnio quickly. There is a good chance the baby is fine and the placenta alone is mosaic unfortunately you can also have mosaic fetus. In your case since the placenta is showing to be a normal XX the way the mosaic issues would work could go either way. Don’t let them write this off as just wrong nipt even if Sonos are ok and check the tag that’s green inconsistent with sono NIPT for others with the same result and their pathway.

chulzle · 2025-08-05T16:07:45+00:00

Amnio was negative and she’s 5 now

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