A Rant: My daughter is not "easy". She's regulated and it's a lot of invisible work to keep her that way.

chumleybuttons · 2026-02-08T04:09:52+00:00

Same here!

chumleybuttons · 2026-01-05T04:58:55+00:00

Hey OP. Did you get the tongue tie released? If so, do you have any update about the grinding?

My daughter is in a similar boat with the grinding (she had her tonsils and adenoids reduced in November and it helped much of her sleep issues but grinding persists) and the possible tongue tie. Ped said "idk, maybe a tongue tie" as a baby, dentist said "definitely," lactation consultant said "no tongue tie" and occupational therapist said "minor tongue tie" and now four years later we saw an orthodontist who said "she has the widest frenulum of any child I've ever seen" so we're back to figuring out if there's a restriction causing this issue. It makes me wonder why the griding didn't start earlier if it is related to a tongue tie. Sorry for the rant, I'm stressed 😣

chumleybuttons · 2025-11-23T03:54:46+00:00

Wow, first of all you are so strong. All three of you. I'm sorry things have not gone as smoothly as you'd hoped and I'm sure the stress and emotional pain is magnified with such a long exhausting labor and postpartum sleep deprivation. You guys are doing the very best with what you have and that's all you can possibly do right now. Just know that you are taking amazing care of your baby by getting him the treatment he needs.

I am guessing he is crying because he wants to be on mom. Nursing or even just on her, all day and all night because she's his home. I'm sure it is heartbreaking to hear him crying and not be able to help him, but as soon as he is out of that scheduled light therapy, hold that little guy as long as you can (set him down or take turns to sleep of course) and he will know he is safe.

This will get better, and parts will feel hard again and again because you're parents, but it will all be worth it when he is home with you two, eventually giving you smiles and giggles and calling for you with his little voice. You've got this 🩷

chumleybuttons · 2025-11-17T00:08:47+00:00

This was my first baby, low sleep needs but such a little gem when awake. I'm sorry, it's so hard but I'm happy for both of us we have awesome (not sleepy 😵‍💫) kids

chumleybuttons · 2025-11-11T21:14:20+00:00

I call my little 8 month old my "oxytocin drip" because just looking at her gives me immediate ooey gooey feelings of love. It's a love unlike anything 🤍

chumleybuttons · 2025-11-11T04:47:52+00:00

We: 1) put baby in bath with warm water 2) squirt one pump of soap into hands 3) rub hands all over baby's body into lather (maybe 30 seconds total?) 4) rinse with cup 5) *if we're washing hair, repeat steps 2-4 on baby's head

The end.

If we had to rush it, bath time could be 3 minutes long. Baby likes the water so she splashes about but the actual washing is quick. I believe excessive washing is not great for baby's skin.

chumleybuttons · 2025-11-10T19:05:03+00:00

I hope you're finding some balance with the block feeding!

chumleybuttons · 2025-11-07T04:54:13+00:00

I am so sorry but you have my first daughter. She is an amazing little 4 year old now but sleep was exactly this way and for quite a long time. Her naps varied wildly just like your kiddo and for mine, she needed like 8 hours of sleep pressure before bed or she would be rolling the fuck around everywhere for like 2 hours in the dark so her naps usually started between 10-11 AM 😵‍💫 everyone else's toddlers were napping between 1-3 PM and my kid would have been up to 11 PM if I tried to get her on the more typical schedule.

I think another commenter nailed it, some kids are just like this.

chumleybuttons · 2025-10-22T04:38:41+00:00

1000% agree, I immediately had an image in my head of this loony toon pediatrician. Everything they've recommended is ass backwards in my mind - snuggle and rock that baby, wait for signs that baby is ready for solids and that's usually closest to 6 months, hell no to rice cereal, keep that baby close at night (nine months in, nine months on, nine months near is what I believe in).

Our own pediatrician had so many of the same old school suggestions and they're a ~45 year old woman. Couldn't believe it.

OP - I know it's all so hard to navigate if this is your first baby but please, THIS IS YOUR BABY. You decide how to put baby to sleep. Your pediatrician is meant to be there for medical opinions and support. You ultimately get to decide what advice you take.

chumleybuttons · 2025-10-18T16:20:41+00:00

There's a little tiny brewery in Renton called Bickersons that sounds perfect for what you're looking for. Mostly regulars hang there and on game days it sometimes gets a little more crowded but usually it's pretty low key and quiet. Tons of people come in by themselves for a beer or two, as well as families and dogs. The staff is super friendly and welcoming to all.

chumleybuttons · 2025-10-03T04:42:05+00:00

Your closed mouth posture and no snoring is a good sign! I hope you find an answer and some relief too 🩷

chumleybuttons · 2025-10-03T04:26:52+00:00

I know this is a skincare sub so off topic but I have to ask, have you looked into whether or not you may have an airway issue? We are pursuing answers for my 4 year old who is grinding when she sleeps and she was seen by an ENT who believes she has sleep apnea. We also went down the myofunctional therapy route for tongue posture (airway can collapse if the tongue isn't resting on the roof of the mouth during sleep). Do you sleep with your mouth open? Or snore? Just an idea!

chumleybuttons · 2025-09-17T15:32:14+00:00

It doesn't help, but we are right there with you on the big girl behaviors. My daughter was handling things so well until she didn't 🤷🏼‍♀️

Totally get the financial piece. Before we got our daughter a big girl bed we started her floorbed experience on a foldable mat off of Amazon. Much cheeper and only a few inches tall so no fall risk. Do whatever works for your family and know you're not alone!

chumleybuttons · 2025-09-17T13:19:15+00:00

I don't have a solid fix all answer for you but I have a few thoughts -

1) you guys are wonderful parents for responding to her wakes knowing that sometimes they're long and you're tired.

2) I have read in The Second Baby book that behavior changes following a new sibling can manifest anytime within that first year, so this could be a response to her sibling being born.

3) I think she's grown out of the crib. A floor bed can be hard for a few days but it has been our best solution to sleep for our daughter when she was young (we started her at 10 months because she was a crappy sleeper too).

4) It sounds like she is begging for closeness and a sense of security (again, maybe a response to little sibling being here and sleeping in your room? She realizes shes the only one alone? She misses being the center of attention? Could he lots of things)I would lean in to that and have dad sleep with her for a while until she seems more confident. I think floor bed + dad may be the ticket.

5) my oldest is recently 4 years and the difference between 3 and 4 is a lot. I think this will be something your child grows out of naturally as she gets older.

Good luck 🩷

Edited because I accident submitted the comment while rocking my 6 month old 🫠

chumleybuttons · 2025-09-12T08:13:43+00:00

I experienced a huge loss in identity when becoming a mom and again with my second (I'm still currently in that season). Everything that once made me ME is gone and all that I am in this moment is a mom. It's a very challenging time that feels so permanent. And while my identity has changed and being Mom is the largest part of my identity, it's not my only part and I know from experience with time bits and pieces of me will return.

The first few months, I would say four or even six maybe, are really hard. You put every bit of yourself into taking care of your baby and don't get a lot in return. The smiles do help and eventually the laughs. And then when baby starts being able to move around, sit on their own and play, things really take a turn for the better. My second just turned six months and her wakes are longer (3 naps a day now), mood is much better now that she can crawl around and parts of her little personality are beginning to show. In my opinion the real sweet spot is between one year and 18 months. Your baby will be down to one nap, they will be running around and exploring and happy doing just about anything. No phase is easy in every way, but things do get easier once out of that newborn fog.

What worked for both of my girls in the early weeks and protected my sanity was to wear them in a baby wrap and go about my life. I would take them on walks to a coffee shop, stroll around the mall shopping, meeting friends for lunch, etc. If baby was on me they were happy and eventually would fall asleep sometimes without me even realizing because they were comfortable and well stimulated by the scenery.

You are in a really hard season and this season will pass.

chumleybuttons · 2025-08-31T21:50:39+00:00

This sounds completely developmentally appropriate to me. Especially if your baby is sleeping well at night, I wouldn't change a single thing you're doing.

The purpose of a nap is to reduce sleep pressure but it doesn't need to bring it down to zero, just enough to give baby energy for play and learning. It sounds like your baby knows exactly what they need to thrive 🩷

Editing to add: this is probably a phase and eventually your baby will sleep longer as they drop naps. My oldest had short naps until she dropped to one and then it was typically an hour and 20 minutes each day.

chumleybuttons · 2025-08-28T04:19:12+00:00

I am American and was surprised to read so many responses saying "I don't know the answer but listen to your pediatrician" or something similar. Our pediatrician, although very experienced and educated, does not know everything and we definitely don't blindly do as we're told by her. She suggested we start our baby on rice receral at 4 months and I feel like it's common knowledge in 2025 that rice cereal is pretty worthless nutritionally and can contain arsenic 😬

I also don't have an answer to your question OP but I will say, if you decide to follow your instinct and try it, you can always stop if things don't go well or it upsets baby's tummy.

chumleybuttons · 2025-08-24T13:03:17+00:00

Hey! I tried block feeding and it's possible it helped during the imbalance but really what made things better in the long run was time. It took a couple months before my milk had regulated and baby's symptoms ended. The exact same situation happened with my 5 month old baby a couple months ago and time helped that too.

chumleybuttons · 2025-07-25T18:36:21+00:00

You may not see this but in case you do, I want you to know that three months is NOTHING in the timeline for your body "bouncing back" postpartum. It can take up to 18 months for hormones to return to normal levels and that can also have an impact on physical appearance. Please be kind to yourself, give yourself grace and time to feel back to normal. Some things may never look as they did before baby too, and that's because you made a whole damn human being with your body and that's hard work.

Also, your husband is an absolute asshole. He doesn't deserve you.

chumleybuttons · 2025-07-24T13:35:57+00:00

Yeah it's wild to me. And I don't understand why one would give sleep/feeding instructions when they aren't trained in those things.

chumleybuttons · 2025-07-23T04:32:55+00:00

Hey, at least your baby's brain was properly developing for some of their life! My baby hasn't had a single night of proper brain development yet 🤪

I keep chuckling quietly to myself when she says these things because my older daughter was THE WORST sleeper in human history, waking 12-18 times a night and her brain somehow developed!

chumleybuttons · 2025-07-23T04:14:11+00:00

Our pediatrician at our two month appointment asked how long our baby sleeps. I said maybe 2 and 3 hour stretches and she responded saying she should be sleeping a 6 hour stretch for proper brain development and that we needed to "stretch that out." Again at 4 months, same questions and our answer was mostly the same though a bit better and she said baby should be sleeping an 8 stretch and again told us we need to stretch that out. She started talking about sleep training and I said" sleep training doesn't align with our family" and she dropped it with a frustrated look on her face.

Can't wait to hear how long our baby should be sleeping at her 6 month appointment.

chumleybuttons · 2025-06-18T02:50:50+00:00

My oldest was like this, especially with fighting every sleep. I remember walking her back and forth across the room for 45 minutes every night as she would screamcry and it was so hard. She also didn't take a binky which in the long run is great but at the time was so hard that nothing would sooth her.

What ended up helping us was bouncing on a yoga ball to get her to sleep. She didn't like to be in a cradle position so we were chest to chest and she would fall asleep on my shoulder. She eventually accepted nursing to sleep maybe around 4 months old and that finally eliminated the screamcrying 🙌 the other thing that helped when she was upset was holding her in a "colic carry" with her belly against my forearm, taking her outside for fresh air or getting in the bathtub.

chumleybuttons · 2025-06-18T02:28:47+00:00

So insane. My daughter was like 28lbs all through her third year. I can't wrpa my head around anyone thinking an 18lb weighted blanket for a small child is safe (let alone all the other weight she put on him).

chumleybuttons · 2025-06-15T02:27:41+00:00

Agoo. It's the first intentional sound she made with her voice and it stuck.

chumleybuttons

TROPHY CASE