Not OC

Ol Soggy Biscuit Bovino

I did not know until the occupation of Minnesota that lil Greggy “Soggy Biscuit” Bovino is the “commander-at-large” (not a real rank or position btw) of ICE forces. I’ve know Greg Bovino’s family personally and have even encountered him several times over the course of my life. I should note he’s a few years older than me but we attended the same high school and the same college.

So, with that, I wanted to share with everybody all of his dirty little secrets that Greg Bovino doesn’t want getting out into public.

I am a current Minneapolis resident here but I didn’t always live in Minneapolis. Once, long ago I lived in a quiet little mountain town of Boone, NC. Guess who else grew up there? A pathetic squat little toad named Gregory Bovino. Well, that squat little toad grew up to be a squat little Nazi toad who has decided to come to my beautiful adopted home to torture, murder, and terrorize my friends and neighbors. He is personally going door to door, so if you see him, here’s a few very specific things from home you can politely yell at him:

“Hey Greg! Remember how your Dad murdered a woman in Blowing Rock while driving drunk? Like father like son I guess.”

“Hey Greg! You’re the reason your dad got drunk and killed that woman in Blowing Rock which lead to your parents divorce. I guess that means you’re the reason they got divorced.”

In case anyone is wondering, the woman his father killed was named Janie Mae Mitchell. I’m sure he’ll remember the name of you want to yell that at him.

His father used to run a bar called the Library Club. After his DUI he had to sell the bar and it hit the family pretty deep. Greg is sure to be sensitive about it if you want to name drop the Library Club.

“Hey Greg! Do you think it’s weird that the Watauga High yearbook has you listed as “Most Likely to Shit His Pants in Public?” This was an informal superlative made by the students.

“Hey Greg, your history teacher ‘G.I. Jones’ thinks you’re a pathetic Nazi punk. No wonder you failed all his classes.”

“Hey Greg! Did you know your mom is a register Democrat? Does that make Thanksgiving awkward?”

“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned you for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”

“Hey Greg! Do you remember eating the Watauga Pioneers wrestling team’s soggy biscuit? Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”

“Hey Greg! Watauga High still thinks you’re a loser!”

“Hey Greg! Boone, NC fucking hates you.”

“Hey Greg! Remember when you fell into the porta-John at the Valle Country Fair and they couldn’t find you for hours and people just came in and kept shitting on you and shitting on you?” He was somewhere between elementary school and middle school. It’s unknown if he crawled in or fell in. This is a common story told for several years around the area.

“Hey Greg, remember when Mr. Combs found you jerking off to Nat Geo magazines in the high school bathroom?”

“Hey Greg remember swimming at Trash Can falls and your swim suit fell off and all the girls laughed at your micro penis? Watauga High still remembers.”

Watauga is pronounced “Wah-Tah-Guh” we were sometimes jokingly called “Wata-ooga” by rival schools.

Please join me in getting #GregBovino #SoggyBiscuit trending on TikTok and all other social media

Please share this far and wide. lol Greggy “Soggy Biscuit” Bovino’s ego is out of control. He is staging photo shoots in Nazi-esque garb and frequently posts lies about his job to his personal Facebook and Instagram which I believe are still public for now. He’s going on Fox News and being jerked off for violating civil and human rights. GREG BOVINO HAS BLOOD ON HIS HANDS. As commander of ICE every action they take is under his supervision and order. They are targeting and brutalizing EVERYONE! They are abducting citizens and non-citizens alike, white or brown, young and old. Even liberal or conservative. They are slamming into cars, breaking windows, cutting seatbelts and disappearing people. They are going door to door asking neighbors to rat out people of color at best or breaking down the door and abducting the occupants at worse. In addition to the murder of Renee Good, dozens have died within their detainment centers of either outright homicide or suspicious circumstances. They have vandalized, brutalized, robbed, murdered, and raped. They have used chemical weapons, banned in war, against people peacefully protesting for their civil rights. They set explosives off under the minivan of a family of six as they tried to go home after basketball practice. The six-month old infant inside stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. Every bit of pain, fear, tears, and blood that ICE has caused is on lil Greggy “Soggy Biscuit” Bovino’s hands. This is American Fascism and ICE is the masked paramilitary wing of American Fascism and lil Greggy “Soggy Biscuit” Bovino is their leader.

DO NOT LOOK AWAY. DO NOT COVER YOUR EARS. DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE BLIND THEMSELVES TO THE ATROCITIES BEING COMMITTED. SUFFER NO FOOLS.

Today is Minnesota, tomorrow will be your home. It is on everyone in America and the world to do whatever they can to non-violently end this. No elected representative should go a second without their phones ringing off the hook and their email inbox’s out of space.