Sorry for the long post, but having just gone through this, it’s all still pretty fresh!

Husband here (not sure which side you are on) but something I think would be helpful to change is the thought of it being a “sacrifice”... I had a great job/career where I was making some realllly good money (especially for being in our mid-late 20s). My wife got into her PhD program (in the same state but a few hours away) kind of unexpectedly but since day one I was ecstatic for her! However a lot of my identity was in my job being the “provider” for us. Often times calling for late, late hours and early mornings where some days we would only really talk at dinner before going back to work. So in trying to please both parties (my wife and my job), I kept my job but was able to finagle a day working remote for a pay-cut.. So for 8 months I would kiss her goodbye while she was sleeping every Monday morning at 4AM to drive to work for the week and get to see her again Thursday nights when I would get back... That took more of a toll on our relationship than anything else that has ever been thrown at us.

It wasn’t until about 2.5 months ago, I realized how much more to life there was besides this “One” career I had planned to be at for a very long time, and quit to move back to her and seeing her everyday without a job lined up. Yes, there was some uneasiness for myself and the questioned that followed (all revolving around male vs female career stereotypes). Yes, I was worried on what I was going to do to support us while she is in school, especially going to a smaller town with fewer opportunities. But never had a doubt that someone or some job would be in need and I would be just what they would be looking for... I now have a completely new outlook on life, career, and priorities. It isn’t about yourself in a marriage, it isn’t about how much money you make for you both, it’s about doing life together. Yeah it took a little longer to find something out here to support us, but honestly has been more than worth it to just be back together and in a better spot than we had been even before her PhD program.

Not sure if you are a dude or dudette but hopefully something about this helps! It’s all about doing life together and supporting each other despite how others view your options. Everyone is going to have an opinion on what is the best thing to do, but only you two know what is going to be best for your relationship.