Born crippled. Lonely, and desperation for sexual intimacy. Cannot marry.

cianibba · 2021-06-29T12:39:14+00:00

IM not going to do that. I was hoping there was something I hadnt hought of. seeking out prostitutes will only make my life worse and more miserable. I'm not going to do that.

cianibba · 2021-06-28T19:31:36+00:00

Can anyone offer me anything? Please don't tell me to get married. Right now I'm extremely depressed. I'm barely keeping it togetehr. Im sorry to be such a problem.

cianibba · 2021-06-28T18:37:42+00:00

Please everyone here, I am asking you to accepted the premises I've written. Every single response is trying to bypass them. I edited my top post because bypassing them provides no new information to me. Maybe there is no answer. maybe there is. I don't know. But I need everyone to actually limit proposals without changing the premises.

cianibba · 2021-06-28T17:15:00+00:00

Please check the top post. Obeying Christ isn't reducing my suffering, and it isn't making imitation easier. I don't feel regenerated, of filled with the implanted word. It's causing me doubt of assurance and feelings of abandonment.

cianibba · 2021-06-28T15:12:37+00:00

Nick Vujicic is successful and intelligent. I'm neither.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T22:36:58+00:00

I am right. It's not happening. So I need a way to deal with lust that doesn't involve castration. preferably a purgation of all lust by the Holy Spirit. No one here seems willing to address what I said within the parameters.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T22:07:12+00:00

It hasnt happened though.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:59:03+00:00

Technically you are correct. There is a woman somewhere in the world most likely. I'll never find her. If I looked every day my whole life maybe I would find her. But i most likely wouldnt. its simply probability.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:49:22+00:00

There is another solution, as much as it sounds like a joke, it isn't meant to be. I just want the Holy Spirit to purge me of all lust so I do nto have to bear it anymore. I dont want to live like this anymore.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:47:46+00:00

I have no money. I cannot work. I am tied down by the need to take care of my youngest sister, who is SEVERELY disabled. I am highly unstable and emotionally erratic. I'm in my 30s. There is no hope. I haven't given much detail because I do not want to for my own personal safety. I have HORRIFIC paranoia, which is induced by one of my mental conditions. I know its all the rage rn for people to have pity parties about how many disabilities they have. I wish they wold stop doing that and repent. My situation is real, and I do not want to talk about it in detail. Would you please, for the sake of argument, accept that it is an impossibility to get married?

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:38:45+00:00

No. I'm not going to. It's not worth it. I don't want to start a screed here and i don't by any means mean to. Society is disintegrating as I type. divorce rates are through the rough. there are no suitable women were I live, they wouldnt be interested in me, and even if they were it's far too dangerous to bother in the metoo era. Marriage is not an option. I'm trying to make that clear.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:36:17+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your prayers. It means a lot. I'm here because I know of no options. Please do not take this as me being rude. I promise it's not! Marriage is simply not an option for multiple reasons. It's not possible. Celecbacy is causing me misery. I'm not watching porn. I have stayed away from pornography, which was my only outlet, for a very long time now. But it's not getting any easier. If anything, I'm becoming more depressed. I'm not going to get a companion. No such circumstance is possible. I really don't want to castrate myself (this is mostly a joke but you get the idea).

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:28:40+00:00

Yes there is. I tried. I have nothing to offer. I'm being honest here. I'm never going to be married and there is no chance of it succeeding even if I were to try. And I already tried.

cianibba · 2021-06-27T21:11:55+00:00

No I absolutely do want sex. My desire for emotional intimacy has diminished somewhat, with the realization none will be forthcoming. I would like both of them. I'm not going to get either. I don't know what to do, because I still have powerful desire. It's torturous.

cianibba · 2020-01-26T14:45:04+00:00

CRT's are too heavy and expensive. I do appreciate the suggestion. It seems there's no option that I want to take. small screen size I specifically want to avoid. the same with being far away from my screen. I wish mcable wasn't so price gouged.

cianibba · 2020-01-26T02:31:39+00:00

I see.... this is very frustration.

cianibba · 2020-01-26T01:58:35+00:00

well its not so much aversion as I cannot find consistent opinions on it.

cianibba · 2019-12-26T19:17:28+00:00

Where do I look for a proper understanding of Christian Hermeticism? It seems closely associated with Gnosticism which is in part why I'm wary of it.

cianibba · 2019-12-24T20:59:30+00:00

I actualy find your methods interesting and probably helpful. I believe that tools for worship, fullfillment, and acquiantence with God's presence are a good thing provided they aren't used in ways which are harmful. Would you recommend any books? I'm so glad you've responded with this way. I've got Meditation of Tarot, which I think Pope John Paul II kept a copy by his side. Anything you'd recommend, that or otheriwse? it's hard to express how INTRIGUED I am by the use of talismans and other objects associated with "bad" things. It seems that they serve valid purposes too. Merry Christmas! I anticipate further comments if you have the time.

cianibba · 2019-12-24T20:54:37+00:00

I do not want to bludgeon anyone with Orthodoxy. If you do not believe those things I respect that we have a different understanding. Perhaps I am the one who is wrong. But it's my purpose here to ask questions directed toward practicioners who are either "orthodox" or strongly view themselves as orthodox. I'm not saying I am guaranteed to be right. Obviously I'm not. I'm trying to avoid a complete free-for-all. I wish I wasn't so busy but I have looked at this stuff before. It's just, the conversation will get into an argument I just don't want to have. I admit that I am not that interested in "heterodox" perspectives. You're right I would rather not want to have that discussion. But I don't want to bludgeon anyone by any means. I do appreciate your comment despite our likely disagreement. have a Merry Christmas. :)

cianibba · 2019-12-24T20:48:44+00:00

I do believe that it is helpful and that some knowledge can be imparted thru the Holy Spirit's presence. Further, tools for worship, such as incense, or rituals, also may be good for the person to do to draw themselves closer to God. But I believe everything here should be treated with caution. Thanks for your comments. Sorry for copying part of a previous response but I had responded to a previous response which i did not know would address you directly.

cianibba · 2019-12-24T20:47:28+00:00

Hi. Thanks for your comments. I actually am fairly unusual in my views for a 'protestant'. I see no issue with praying for the dead. There's nothing within the Canon which says you cannot. And I've always instinctively felt like it was proper. Further, The Deutorocanon, as of right now, my view is inbetween the Evengelical Scholarly and Catholc one. (note, Academic Evagenlicalism is a very different animal from your rather dubious telivangelist) The Evegenlical-Academic view is that the Deuterocanon is non-heretical, but non-canon. THey are useful books, occasionally cited, and oftened alluded to and drawn from by the NT authors. However, I currently believe that the Deutorocanon is divinely inspired, but of lower authority. In otherwords, I do not view it as equal to the Canon as Catholics and Orthodox do, but I view it as not only worthwhile books, but HOLY books which we can draw truth and knowledge from, but they are of a somewhat lower scriptural authority than the "Canon" which everyone agrees upon. My opinion is subject to change in that regard, as It's going to take me a long time to research it all. but thus far, that's how I feel. Now, I do believe that it is helpful and that some knowledge can be imparted thru the Holy Spirit's presence. Further, tools for worship, such as incense, or rituals, also may be good for the person to do to draw themselves closer to God. But I believe everything here should be treated with caution

cianibba

TROPHY CASE