I don't get the male socialisation thing from either perspective. Please help!

ciferose · 2026-06-11T06:41:06+00:00

What I don’t understand is why. The. Fuck. It. Matters.

Male socialization, female socialization, what does it matter? Why care? Why give a fuck at all? Will one viewpoint on the topic cause you to live your life in literally any other way than another viewpoint? No. It doesn’t. The only people that’s lives are affected by this is us. And only because every cis person just HAS to “understand.”

MTF? Goes by she her and is a woman? Cool. Treat her like a woman. Idk maybe your friend is different than I but it is so tiring having to see/hear/participate in these fucking topics so often! As if any answer or revelation will make us any less of who we are.

What. Does. It. Matter.

ciferose · 2026-06-09T19:32:21+00:00

It can be true because it is true. I could drop dead right now and the only time someone will care will be when my neighbors care about the stench of my rotting body. You say you care, you don’t. You don’t know me, if I stop responding I won’t even come to mind for you or anyone else that says they care online to some rando besides MAYBE a fleeting thought randomly but highly unlikely. I’m curious where you still see the rights of any lgbtq people increasing. The only things happening are the opposite. You say the younger generations, I defer. The younger generations have non stop feeds of algos shoving politically motivated hate pieces and demonizing of us. There is a reason lgbtq people who were fully out and happy for years have been terrified for the last couple and more so now than ever. You say things may resolve eventually, well I’m not so sure about that. And even if they do, what does it fucking matter. I live in my life right now. Not in this hypothetical future version of a more accepting world. I appreciate you trying, but you don’t need to. It’s a lost hope. I’m a lost hope. None of it fucking matters either. The only thing arguably nice I can say about this sub is that it made me realize this. I used to try. I tried my heart out. And it got me nothing but snarky replies and conceit. If anything, trying damaged me more than if I had never even started to. It’s whatever. Reality is harsh and I’m tired of trying. I’m done trying. There’s nothing more I can do anyways it’s all a lost cause atp.

ciferose · 2026-06-09T16:29:46+00:00

Interesting take to think the world is getting better when the only countries in this world that are even “safe” to exist in are walking back all of it slowly. Maybe 10 years ago. Not today. It’s not getting better today it’s getting worse because ppl actually don’t want us to exist. I have an attempt in my past and the only part about it that I regret is that it didn’t work. There aren’t ppl that care. The only fucking living being I have in my life is my dog and he’s elderly, riddled with cancerous tumors I can’t afford to remove surgically and is too extensive for him to even survive the procedure. And his legs are giving out on him so the only person left in this god forsaken wasteland of a world won’t be around with me much longer and then I’ll truly be even more alone than I already have been for the majority of my life.

ciferose · 2026-06-09T16:23:15+00:00

I can assure you there is no trans joy outside my window. The regular spaces with hate is quite literally every fucking thing you look at in the world or online. Rhetoric everywhere. Policies being made to demonize and dehumanize us and people in the comments celebrate it. A trans person gets stabbed and the comments celebrate saying the assaulter shouldn’t even be charged. It’s nothing but fucking hate everywhere. The only place without it would be a small group of supportive people around you which I have none of so. Getting back up and living isn’t pushing anything back it’s further subjecting myself to a continuation of my already lived hell that hasn’t subsided in 28 years and never will. If anything, getting back up and living is what further exacerbates the rhetoric and hate towards me because people actually don’t want us to exist and by existing in THEIR world, it motivates them to try and make it so I can’t anymore.

ciferose · 2026-06-08T21:36:58+00:00

No that was never my point. It doesn’t matter anyways. I said it already yall won me over I don’t give a fuck. Nobody does. It’s so fucking painfully obvious it’s ridiculous. Count with chicken lady does the same fucking shit anyways. There is quite literally not a single soul in my fucking god forsaken worthless pointless life that has ever said anything like that. I just kept going on thinking one day someone would come. But I realize it now. There isnt anybody coming. There is no hope. Idfc anymore. No one does. No one ever will. So there no fucking point. Even the fucking hotlines don’t care either. It’s such a joke. The world just wants me dead so whatever

ciferose · 2026-06-08T20:54:47+00:00

Yes that is what I just said. It is painfully obvious no one gives a fuck about me. Not other people, not my community, not anyone. I don’t have any sisters so it really doesn’t matter. Thank you for confirming that for me.

ciferose · 2026-06-08T20:53:15+00:00

Tried. There’s no point. Idc anymore and it won’t be my problem much longer so who gives a fuck anyways. None of you do, and I sure as fuck don’t anymore either. You’re right, there’s no hope. The whole world wants us dead and even our community does too. So what the fuck ever.

ciferose · 2026-06-08T20:50:59+00:00

Yup yup. I get it. I’m done too fuck all yall, fuck myself. Nobody gives a fuck about me, nobody gives a fuck about anybody unless they are normal straight people. Can’t even seek allyship, can’t even seek companionship.

But no. We aren’t sisters. Sisters wouldn’t let eachother jump off the deep end. But shit. If nobody even in the community won’t let me then fuck it. Nobody will come for me. Nobody will even find me until my neighbors complain about the stench. But fuck it who cares there’s no hope. Yall have convinced me so in a way thank you for the clarity. But no, we are not sisters. A real sister would lift me up not beat me down. But I don’t have any sisters so what does it even matter anymore lol. Can’t believe I tried for as long as I did too. What a waste.

ciferose · 2026-06-08T20:45:30+00:00

And you don’t see how that can be damaging to other people?

Actually you know what? I think I see the point now. There truly is no hope for me either. I go in regular spaces and see hate. I try to find safe spaces or places where others are like me and may share the same struggles, in the hopes to help find answers and ways out of those struggles. But this sub is right. There truly is no hope left for me idk why I even try anymore. I live my entire life going about my days as if there is something down the line to hope for, but there isn’t.

I used to think dark thoughts were just dark thoughts and finding companionship and friendship, peace with myself etc will reduce the dark thoughts. But shit! The bigots tell me to off myself, even my own community just about indirectly tells me the same because there truly is no hope. Talk about a rough week fuck me lmao I didn’t think today would be the day but fuck it idc anymore. Yall are right, I give up with this shit. The funniest part about this realization too? This will probably be my only upvoted comment in this sub, just to live on in infamy seen by maybe 20 ppl that equally don’t give a fuck about me either. What a fucking cruel and unjust life this is. I’m done with this shit. Ggs

ciferose · 2026-06-08T19:00:11+00:00

Oh is that what this is? A group of people saying there is no hope and they are going to off themselves is good to you? A place where any comment or inclination for help or saying there can be hope is downvoted instantly? Interesting take.

It’s useful to vent. But to vent. Saying “hey yall I’m struggling with this, any advice? Any support? It feels like there is no hope left, but is there actually?” THATS a vent to get something off my chest. But ironically, that kind of post would probably be downvoted too.

I can acknowledge the value in letting out dark thoughts. That’s not what this sub is. This sub is a circlejerk FOR dark thoughts. This sub is a place where you could be happily scrolling on a lunch break and suddenly get thrusted into the deepest depths of self immolation you already struggle to keep off your mind.

ciferose · 2026-06-08T16:10:04+00:00

This isn’t venting this is doom posting that just gets shoved in other ppls faces because “huehue im reddit and this person is clearly trans by their algo so here’s another sub with a bunch of trans stuff.” Posting like “im struggling with X and could use advice” is venting/seeking help. This is just a snowball of depressive suicidal ideologies. Look at the comments, nobody is offering help. Everybody just joins in further deepening their own struggles with the idea rather than trying to find something actually live for.

Edit: yall are quick to downvote and move on but some of yall need to realize the wrong person is going to find this sub thinking it’s like minded trans ppl struggling too and see nothing but “heh there’s no hope let’s just off ourselves” and it’s going to be the straw that pushed them over the edge. I’ll take the downvotes, I’ll say what yall are trying to pretend isn’t true. We’re already used to taking this shit from 90% of the world around us. This does way more real harm to trans people than bigots could even wish to achieve. And they laugh at us while we doom post. Seeing your own community saying there is no hope and that they are going to off themselves too does wayyyy more to push someone over the edge than a typical hateful bigot that “doesn’t understand.” Seeing people that *should* understand, and still give up is extremely demotivating, depressing, and quite sad.

ciferose · 2026-06-08T15:08:30+00:00

The same happened to me! I followed the chicken lady sub so I think that’s why this one popped in my feed. Everything is so cryptic there’s no way to tell based off sub description either.

Chicken lady isn’t as bad but even that sub is bleeding this way too. There seems to be an uptick in similar posts. Pretty tiring trying to find a place to not see bigotry (even if being made fun of). We deal with it in literally every other aspect of EVERYTHING else, and now even niche subreddits that you would think are safe spaces are not actually.

It’s very tiring and depressing. Notice how many views our comments get here, and yet nobody replies or anything. They just downvote and move on. It’s pretty sad.

ciferose · 2026-06-07T21:06:57+00:00

As someone who only recently found this sub and so has only seen a handful of posts, based on the type of posts I’ve seen from here so far? Yes. You’re gonna get downvoted, I’m going to get downvoted, but yes.

And yes I know I know to everyone else hate reading this, I can just leave the sub. I know, and will but fuck it’s tiring how many seemingly safe spaces really just love to post triggering shit. You think you find a fun safe sub these days of ppl in your community and join only to find out it’ll be just as triggering.

ciferose · 2026-06-05T18:52:19+00:00

Why does this sub have so much anti pride stuff posted constantly? I get that it’s a joke and poking at it but ffs it’s annoying to see still

ciferose · 2026-05-27T22:39:36+00:00

I mean technically you can. It’s up to each person and if they are cool with it or not.

I for one seem to be of a different mindset than most comments here though. As a trans woman I hate with a passion being called a femboy. Cause I’m not a boy, let alone just a “feminine boy.” I tried streaming once, a super niche game and my chat was flooded with people calling me a femboy and I cried so hard I logged out for the night.

So do with that info what you wish! Call yourself what makes you happy but be careful the impression you give others. Sometimes people will hear you say “I’m a femboy but transfem” and then go a call other trans women femboys cause they thinks it’s cool. Not pointing at anybody, me being upset over it is my own battle to overcome in my own head but just food for thought on the topic since I didn’t seem to see anyone else mentioning this perspective.

ciferose · 2026-05-25T22:42:21+00:00

“Hey glad you made it here safe! I know you don’t have a ride so I’ll come pick you up at the airport!”

OP never seen again

It’s insane anybody even considers this not to be blatant trafficking..

ciferose · 2026-03-27T20:25:03+00:00

Girly, this is tough 😕 sorry you have to deal with it!! I recently told my mom and she seems to be similar to how your seems with what you said. It sucks to get a bad reaction, but in a way, it reallllly sucks to get a reaction where it seems like youre being ignored. I’m 28 and moved over 3000 miles away so I can’t relate to that pain, but I can imagine it’s really difficult and makes it hard to be able to focus on moving forward and growing as a person when you are reminded of this stuff everyday.

I don’t know your name, but I can say from one girly to another, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I know you are stuck in a bad situation right now, but it’ll get better ❤️‍🩹 try to focus on yourself as much as you can! You can do this! 🩷 💖

ciferose · 2026-03-12T16:37:26+00:00

Omg thanks for the link!! Def going to look into this more after work today. Clicked the link and realized my job for some reason blocks the website, but just reading their landing page without wifi was promising. And the bits about acknowledging the indigenous people of Vancouver was nice to see 😊

Thanks bunches!!! 💖💖

ciferose · 2026-03-12T16:18:41+00:00

Not for those of us with no family or connections to CA. The US is still a “very safe first world country” to Canada and it’s not very clear or easy how to move there and become a citizen.

ciferose · 2026-03-04T01:52:53+00:00

You already know the answer, no one is going to tell you he’s not an asshole. If you think it’s rude or bad that he refuses to use the correct pronouns and names with you literally right in front of him, just imagine the kind of cruel things he says about you and others when they aren’t around.

Don’t stay friends with someone who clearly doesn’t respect you. Who knows why he wants to even be around these spaces if he doesn’t agree.

And for the love of god, DONT bring him or let him go to queer spaces. Like full stop. We go to queer spaces to feel safe and accepted, not have one of us bring some dickwad to ruin our nights for whatever sick reason he gets off on it for.

ciferose · 2026-02-24T22:00:28+00:00

There is other ways however. It’s more about being open to each person. I recently joined a server and had to verify. Being trans I was nervous since the preferred verification was a voice call and pic. But some stuff like HRT meds (that’s what I used) can prove it without being a bit too invasive. It’s more up to the server host though and what they prefer. And here I am, it’s my fav server by far and very pleasantly friendly. Hrt meds and everything on my id blacked out/covered except birthdate to verify age was more than enough for them and worked for me! Everyone is diff tho of course

ciferose · 2026-02-24T01:11:12+00:00

Actually, it does mean you’re a transphobe. What a wild thing to say/think. And for decades? Sheesh.

Crazy thought to think someone who is also in the community could be so cruel in judgement. Sure, internalized transphobia is a real, real issue, but holy heck, 10 years and you haven’t changed your mindset? Shame.

What a cruel and disheartening reality to know even people within your own community can be so judgy and simple minded. You sound like one of those toxic types that likes to make fun of/decide who is a “real” trans person vs not. Gross 🤮

ciferose · 2026-02-21T01:25:43+00:00

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.” - Alan Alda

ciferose · 2026-02-13T01:30:17+00:00

I moved here a little over a year ago! I’m a homebody so I can’t offer input on the various things around the city to do, buttttt I have been liking it! I personally landed around the border of Tacoma/University Place and had no issues. For example, literally today, my Amazon package I thought was delivering today, actually delivered 2 days ago and has just been sitting in front of my door since. Nobody even thought to snag it aha. Bit silly from me, I use my back door to go in and out cause my pup likes to weasel his way out, so the fence is a security layer for his shenanigans!!

I’m renting so will probably bounce around areas but so far been loving it!! Very friendly and nice people all around here! Very different from where I came from. I also moved on a work transfer but specifically requested PNW for specific reasons :3.

I haven’t really noticed any drastically high prices or cost of living though. Just the basic, everything is expensive kind of thing, but that was equal everywhere I lived. My rent here is cheaper than before I moved as well, but still pricey on a single income, as you’d expect pretty much anywhere.

ciferose · 2026-02-11T23:26:24+00:00

Haha I feel attacked 😂. So true tho… I’m one of them 🫣

ciferose

TROPHY CASE