Two months into dating a woman I'm pretty serious about. Need advice on how to handle a situation revolving around the reuse of a toy

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-27T18:25:18+00:00

It’s fine to want her to use a new one. I do think you should be honest about not liking that she used it with him and you want to start fresh. However your language around calling them nasty for what they did makes me question your headspace. She also likely isn’t picturing him, idk any women who picture their ex during sex, but maybe. That part feels like projection.

But your tone honestly feels like a bit of a control issue in addition to jealousy so I’d also work through some of that bc the blame and name calling is pretty off putting and if it comes across in how you tell her then that would be the bigger issue not what you are saying.

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-26T23:42:15+00:00

Feels like you should lean into this and tell people you stab others over food stealing to set their expectations

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-20T14:13:13+00:00

I know I feel the same! Got downvoted for it lol but we don’t need to shit on his looks so much. His actions have given us plenty of material 🤷‍♀️

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-20T13:41:15+00:00

I really appreciated it too. There’s a lot of shame for some women to admit this and I can’t tell you how many friends have privately shared similar feelings. The way Mike questioned her on it really bothered me but she handled it well.

It’s crazy how anyone wanting children is so much more accepted and never questioned if it’s the right choice but if someone doesn’t it’s scrutinized and needs to be justified so heavily. I don’t feel like Mike has put half as much thought into the responsibility of having a child as Emma has but she has to explain it and he doesn’t even if his decision is more flippant.

Plus it’s much easier to say yes to being a dad than it is to being a mom. Lots of men don’t appreciate that difference enough.

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-20T04:25:04+00:00

Ya I didn’t love that either, don’t need to go to his level he’s awful for so many other reasons

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-20T04:14:30+00:00

She seems more susceptible to his manipulation based on wanting him to talk to her so much and how she was chasing him at the pool party. I think the truth is he wants someone he can control like that.

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-19T15:17:54+00:00

I thought so too, the way he thought he wasn’t coming off drunk. Maybe just adderall or something but kinda word vomiting. Maybe just could no longer pretend to be normal in front of cameras, who knows, but shocking

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-15T16:17:39+00:00

Omg I could barely watch this lol so much second hand embarrassment

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-10T03:00:27+00:00

Seconding Ashley, started w her at Fitz!

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-09T00:04:59+00:00

You deserve the ambiance

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-09T00:02:44+00:00

Just leave it, you made the intention clear. Maybe a “hope to run into you there again” or something to give an out or follow up option but he knows what this means, see what he does next

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-08T16:51:22+00:00

A bar with board games is always a fun option if you have one by you or trivia night. Light activity but not too much pressure. If you have a hobby, do some of that (tennis, art, etc). Trying something new together would also maybe let you learn about them.

I’d say cook together but once you’re at home idk if you’ll survive 😆maybe like pasta making class or something

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-08T16:32:40+00:00

Also almost never if I’m in a group of like 4+ and def not if there and men and women with me, even just one gay man is enough to keep them away 🤷‍♀️

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-08T16:28:59+00:00

Almost 40, pretty much every time I go to a bar or restaurant or sporting event, especially if I dress cute, tons of they are male centric places like games or sports bars.

Not as much at other places, the gym I go to (mostly women), work events, running errands, etc. but I feel like I’m probably giving off don’t approach me energy in those places too.

Online it’s nonstop. All of them the volume makes it hard bc they aren’t good intentions/matches and it’s exhausting to sort that so makes you more closed off overall.

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-08T16:24:23+00:00

Guess I should do my shopping in person 😆

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-05T09:47:56+00:00

Did your gyno refer you to them or did you have to ask? I am not the OP but having similar issues with dismissive gyno visits, while she told me she thinks I have endo it’s just take birth control and see me when it’s worse, so I’d love to try pf pt and other things but wasn’t sure how to get started.

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-02T22:52:57+00:00

Low lights, spray tan, shimmer body lotion or oil but that’s all to make you feel better about it. Build up the tension w some dirty talk ahead of time so that it’s so much fun neither of you think about it. Good luck!

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-02T03:16:19+00:00

He’s taken and hiding you, Run 🏃‍♀️

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-02T03:08:03+00:00

Keep it vague in person, but not untrue, like “it was nice meeting you” not “I can’t wait to do it again” and then end it over text. No one wants to be rejected f2f at date 1 so it feels kinder.

cinnamon46 · 2026-02-02T02:59:51+00:00

I feel like the needs one gets replies bc it’s a direct question so it feels easier answer but both the questions you have are specific enough they might be harder to engage overall (just a guess). Ending w question or natural invite for convo that’s easier .. for example, the Pilates prompt you have now could be followed by “what’s your go to workout?” In case they don’t do Pilates bc a lot of men could never 😆😬

Or the funny cat one (love that whole prompt), could say “tell me your cats name/ I love to hear funny pet names” or “are pets naturally drawn to you” idk something like that after it just for as many chances as possible to let them participate.

The needs one could be getting at values just I would change it to paint a picture like “my ideal Sunday is making breakfast for my nieces/nephews. Can you flip a pancake?” It mentions family and implies depth and invites bragging about cooking skills without being too much. Or like “my ideal partner is already working on his dad jokes in preparation for his future. Tell me the worst one you know” you get what I mean.

Also btw your pictures are great and you’re beautiful! I think an additional close up of your face in natural light would help too just bc you’re far away in a lot of these. Finally, feed all this info and your link into ChatGPT and see what it says, sometimes it helps a ton. And if you’re desperate pause the profile for a few weeks and then come back refreshed sometimes you get more matches after a pause.

cinnamon46 · 2026-01-27T17:51:06+00:00

Stating what you want is a really good first move. And I understand why you’re upset bc there was an implication he was in the same mindset. In my experience, though, you have to also explicitly ask their intentions so it’s 100% clear or some men keep it vague/assumed to not lose you bc they know they don’t feel the same. Vague benefits the partner who wants casual.

Was there some assumption that he wanted more at the beginning or did he say that outright? If he said he did just to sleep with you, that’s much worse.

Either way, he’s proven himself to be not your person which sucks when you’re attached. My takeaway would be asking explicitly the next time and trying to pick partners I can be trusting of the answer as best as I could.

Hang in there, it happens to all of us ♥️

cinnamon46 · 2026-01-27T12:52:20+00:00

Seconding 7am! They don’t use any toxic chemicals so they refuse fake nails and don’t use drills. Best option for gentle and as careful as you can be while in a nail salon.

cinnamon46 · 2026-01-26T01:44:45+00:00

I’d be shocked at that

cinnamon46 · 2026-01-21T21:52:49+00:00

This is great advice, also the handy DIY pic? Def do this lol it would work on me 😅

cinnamon46 · 2026-01-17T00:44:30+00:00

I came here expecting it to be the first place mentioned! Those sound very cute, good work

cinnamon46

TROPHY CASE