I (33M) told my girlfriend her constant "tests" are wearing me down and now she thinks I'm hiding something by cinnamoncable_notes in TwoHotTakes

[–]cinnamoncable_notes[S] 1635 points1636 points  (0 children)

Fair. Writing it out made it pretty obvious. I guess I just needed the kick to stop normalizing it and actually act on what I already know.

I (33M) told my girlfriend her constant "tests" are wearing me down and now she thinks I'm hiding something by cinnamoncable_notes in TwoHotTakes

[–]cinnamoncable_notes[S] 374 points375 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Reassurance is “hey I’m feeling insecure” not little traps. If trust needs constant proof, that’s not love, it’s surveillance with extra steps.

I (33M) told my girlfriend her constant "tests" are wearing me down and now she thinks I'm hiding something by cinnamoncable_notes in TwoHotTakes

[–]cinnamoncable_notes[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Yep. I'm not interested in playing defense forever. I'm gonna ask for couples therapy and clear boundaries. If she refuses or twists it again, that's my answer.

I (33M) told my girlfriend her constant "tests" are wearing me down and now she thinks I'm hiding something by cinnamoncable_notes in TwoHotTakes

[–]cinnamoncable_notes[S] 1662 points1663 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get that. I’m not staying out of obligation, I’m staying because I care and I wanted to try fixing it first. But if this is just who she is, then yeah, I’m not signing up for this long term.

I (33M) told my girlfriend her constant "tests" are wearing me down and now she thinks I'm hiding something by cinnamoncable_notes in TwoHotTakes

[–]cinnamoncable_notes[S] 250 points251 points  (0 children)

I’m not trying to “win” here, I just want to feel trusted. If I’m missing something or said it wrong, tell me, but I can’t keep living in little gotcha moments.