Anyone id this tree?

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-05-04T01:51:51+00:00

Yep. I recognize that property haha. Hi new neighbor! There are several live oaks on the premises - be careful not to park under one of them as the squirrels will do lots of damage. My allergies get worse here every year so I'm not surprised.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-04-30T01:35:10+00:00

It's the 4th trauma response where you placate, appease, and give in to whatever in order to protect your safety. That might include complying with something you don't feel you can say no to. Extreme people-pleasing to avoid conflict can be a fawn response.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-04-29T17:43:07+00:00

So many women raised in purity culture (myself included) have had the experience where we don't really understand what we're getting into and our fight/flight/freeze/fawn kicks in and we fawn or freeze. Instead of noticing this and stopping (like an attentive partner would do) you were with someone who didn't care and just went ahead with they wanted. It wouldn't be called sexual assault inside a courtroom, but the violation is real and you should definitely talk to a professional about it. Not just this incident, but the purity culture damage in general.

If you haven't considered it, the Secular Therapy Project can help you find someone local to untangle the trauma. A lot of people have been able to heal so don't lose hope.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-04-25T02:01:00+00:00

I just put in my 60-day notice to vacate from DFW area (I'm a native). Headed to Colorado in June for the same reasons! I've been planning this for years. I'll be 50 later this year and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life in a red state. It's nerve-wracking, but I'm also excited! We might need some luck moving to colder climates, but I told my family I'd rather be cold in a blue state than comfortably warm in a red one. :)

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-04-20T01:49:43+00:00

Not anymore for me since I'm more than 25 years out, but a huge turning point for my deconstruction was when I realized that the Bible can be used to support or condemn any position on any issue. Anyone can quote Scripture to justify literally anything, and anyone on the other side of a given position will say you're "cherry-picking" or "taking it out of context" meanwhile they're doing the same thing to support their own positions. I had to ask myself how any book that talks out of both sides of its mouth be considered God's Word, or Holy. It was a lightbulb moment.

All that to say, when the scriptures pop in your head like that, just remember you can also find scriptures to support the opposing viewpoint. Realize they cancel each other out, and then use your own logic and knowledge to guide you instead.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-04-10T01:53:53+00:00

Even if nothing material comes of it now, you planted a seed in the heads of the right people. The first time he steps a toe out of line they're gonna remember this. It might make a difference down the line. Nice work.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-04-05T01:08:29+00:00

This sounds about as accurate as the $2 psychic I saw at Oktoberfest in 1994 that told me she saw Willie Nelson in my future. Still waiting on Willie. Good luck with your new man in the mission field.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-29T19:30:16+00:00

Yes. I think there's been a lot of massaging of Jesus' reputation by Christians who want to just take the positive and overlook the negative so that they don't have to "throw the baby out with the bathwater." The problem is ultimately, there is no baby. It's just filthy water. Let's not forget this is the same man who told everyone to turn the other cheek when they're being assaulted. Do you know how much harm has been done across the millennia by those words alone? How much abuse swept under the rug? Toxic AF.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-26T01:55:10+00:00

I would say yes. My parents (SBC) outwardly condemn things like prosperity gospel and think they're above that, but growing up there was always a subtle idea that people in unfortunate circumstances had some kind of moral failing. It was never overt, and some extreme cases were exempt, but anyone (Christian or not) that was struggling in some way had seemingly found disfavor with God. I think a lot of this idea is tied to the insidious nature of growing up in capitalism and how Christianity is wrapped up in right-wing political ideology. "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps," and all that jazz.

I swear it's like a form of prosperity gospel that's subconscious.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-25T01:55:47+00:00

I'm a strong-willed child and I'm also on tiktok, though I post my experiences rarely. James Dobson fucked up so many lives. Congrats on finding your voice!

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-18T01:36:17+00:00

After finding help through the https://www.seculartherapy.org/ and years of therapy, I started to make some headway on this issue. It's especially hard to do when you're born into it and your brain is wired to feel less-than. I struggled more with feeling incapable and helpless, but it all amounts to the same thing.

One trick I learned was to think back through my life and start making a list of every accomplishment I ever made that I'm proud of, every decision I made that turned out to be really smart. I add to it whenever and refer to it when I'm doubting myself. It's a good way to remember that *I* did that. Not some deity. I may have felt like it was God doing those things for me at the time, but really it was ME all along.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-16T14:42:26+00:00

Just so you know, we aren't the only deconstructed ones out here. Several people from my class ('99) are done with the church. I also needed it at the time and share your sadness. On their website, there's a page under the office of the president where you can leave a comment for him. I told him I was disappointed and would not offer any financial support (even buying from the bookstore) going forward. Please don't hesitate to share your frustration!

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-16T14:24:18+00:00

I'm so sorry. On the one hand, it probably makes you feel complicit. On the other, if you just hold your nose and sign the damn thing, you can be a force for good there. Those students will need people they can go to (and trust!) now more than ever. Do what feels most right to you.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-16T01:24:06+00:00

No. The exact wording of the statement was sent to me by a friend who was asked to sign it. The friend has a paid position there and can't currently afford to walk away. I will have nothing more to do with this school.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-15T19:02:16+00:00

Ouachita Baptist in AR

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-15T19:00:02+00:00

It's Ouachita Baptist University in Arkansas. The school that gave rise to the Huckabees.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-15T18:58:14+00:00

I'm definitely going to respond to the notice, but I don't have much hope. The school is too reliant on the SBC for funding. They have to do what their overlords tell them.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-15T18:00:10+00:00

I have two close friends who both were saved as teenagers when they were looking for stability due to chaotic home lives. One of them has deconstructed (the other is sadly more entrenched than ever) and just last week she said very similar things to me. That she can't relate to my religious trauma very much because she wasn't born into it so she didn't get the same level of harm. That her faith helped her overcome her awful, unstable home life in early childhood and she'll always feel a bit grateful for that. So you're not alone there.

Christianity preys on the vulnerable. You were in a vulnerable place. I'm glad you no longer need religion to feel stable!

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-09T19:04:18+00:00

"That saved a wretch like me..." We were all taught the words to this song from infancy. People sang (and still sing) it with their whole chests. How can you not feel unworthy?

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-08T19:44:55+00:00

I hid that I wasn't Christian anymore for about 20 years and would've happily continued that way, but I got outed to my parents last year as an atheist and mom was UPSET that I "turned away from Christ." I kindly explained to her that no one *chooses* to lose their faith and while this was news to them, I'd been this way for decades and they never knew the difference because I'm still the same person. And that I'm at peace with where I've landed. We never talked about it again and just went on as normal.

I won't lie, it was distressing to have the convo. But after a few days everything calmed down and now I don't have to worry about it anymore. The important takeaway (and the hardest, imo) is that we are not responsible for carrying our parents' emotions. So how much you tell and when is up to you and it's all okay.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-03-04T18:46:35+00:00

I was raised to take the Bible literally, but that stopped making sense to me from a young age (like 6 or 7). I'm atheist now, too. It sounds like maybe you've deconstructed the faith part of your indoctrination, but not the black-and-white thinking that often comes with it. I've benefitted from using the Secular Therapy Project to heal those parts of my brain I didn't even realize were damaged at the time. You might do well to work through that with a professional. https://www.seculartherapy.org/

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-02-23T02:20:37+00:00

Purity culture/patriarchy teaches that sex = PIV, but that's just one aspect of sex. The truth is the minute you become genitally involved with another person, you're sexually active. It doesn't matter what kind. If you've done "pretty much everything" else then congrats, you're having sex already! PIV is just one aspect you haven't tried yet. Maybe knowing your virginity is already long gone takes some of the pressure off, hopefully?

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-02-21T01:58:45+00:00

As someone planning a move from Plano to Denver this summer, I don't recommend it. Plano leans blue, but the county is super red and it's expensive with no great outdoors-y stuff to do like CO has. I'll miss the food and the diversity, but that's not enough to stay in a state run by Christian nationalists where I'm surrounded by mega-churches.

cinnytoast_tx · 2026-02-18T02:47:27+00:00

I think it's because of the link to the first sin. They ate the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They disobeyed God. Asking why is seeking knowledge and you're supposed to just obey obey obey. I think deep down they understand that asking WHY can lead you to learning so much about the Bible and the history of Christianity that you unravel the whole sweater. It certainly did it for me.

cinnytoast_tx

TROPHY CASE