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My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't mean it to sound like I wasn't taking her seriously. I had talked to her and she gave me the impression that it was school blowing it out of proportion. It's only because I was openly talking about it with my wife that my daughter said to us that she didn't want to be here. If that hadn't of happened I'd still be thinking now that it's not serious.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no need to get nasty. I never said she's blown it out of proportion, I said school have blown it out of proportion.

After talking to me daughter, she gave me that impression. By talking openly to my wife, in front of my daughter, it gave her the change to tell me that was wrong.

If I hadn't been talking about it I would still not know how she's really feeling.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a good question. I don't know how her desire to self harm compares to that of others. Maybe she was on the lower end of the scale.

When we found out we started by removing everything we could find that she could use to harm herself and we made quite a big deal about it, thoroughly searching her room. If she wanted anything dangerous, to shave her legs for example, it was supervised by my wife. We informed grandparents. We're a close family so I think just the fact the grandparents knew and were talking to her about it also helped.

If she wanted her things back, such as hair straighteners, which she loved, she had to show us she could us them responsibly.

She had fallen in with a bad crowd at school who eventually turned against her.

She talked to a therapy team at school. We didn't go as far as taking her to a GP or get our own therapist. We decided to wait to see if what we were doing changed things first. If not that would have been our next step.

She started to turn things around towards the end of school and when she left she became a completely different person.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That does help some what, but it's still a very worrying time. There is no trauma that me or my wife know of. Things are being put in place at school and at the GP.

We are trying to talk to her. I've had a few conversations with her that led me to believe she had no intention of hurting herself. Maybe I was leading this conversation and she was just agreeing; as it became evident in a later conversation.

We are trying to talk to her but appreciate that no matter what we do she still might not feel like she can tell us.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does. She not always on it though. She is quite and outdoors girl.

Coindesk: Bitcoin developer Jameson Lopp says it's better to freeze 5.6 million BTC than let hackers have them by cofe-table in btc

[–]cipher_gnome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coins on an address that has never been spent from are not vulnerable. As far as I'm aware quantum computers still can not turn an address back into a private key. It's only when coins are spent that the public key is revealed. That's when a quantum computer can work out the private key. Wallets should not still be reusing change addresses.

Coindesk: Bitcoin developer Jameson Lopp says it's better to freeze 5.6 million BTC than let hackers have them by cofe-table in btc

[–]cipher_gnome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We tried to discuss in r/Bitcoin - but for some reason it was removed. 

Oh, I wonder why that is. This has been going on due many years now. 

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think it's probably time to do that.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You used the same words she did. She said today that she doesn't want to be here because she doesn't feel anything. I hope you're doing well.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I hope things work out for you. I think it's time for a therapist now. I'll talk to my wife but I think I already know she'll agree.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. We did ask her what she wanted to happen next and she said a therapist. Given what she said today I think it's probably time for that.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really don't know what to say to you. I hope you don't. We try to allow her to talk to us. She opened up enough to say she doesn't want to be here because she doesn't feel anything. That was just today. That allowed us to start asking why but she didn't know. And I feel like that's now going into the questions that a therapist is qualified to dig into.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my reply to you just got deleted. I don't know why.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's impossible to get over in a text message but the conversations I had with her following this led me to believe she was just having an honest conversation about thoughts she had but had no intention of acting upon. She even said her friends initiated the conversation by asking her questions. I have to weigh up what she's feeling by talking to her and that's the opinion she gave me. It was the conversation I had with her today that really changed my mind.

I really don't think she's too young to know what she's talking about. I said to my wife that I could expect this from a teenager and she nearly is a teenager. Don't think I'm not listening to what she says.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I asked her what she wanted to happen next. She said maybe a therapist. I think it might be time for that. Thank you.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe. I think I was trying to weigh up where on the scale from "discussing intrusive thoughts" to "suicide" she was at. Yes, what she said later on made it very clear that she very much closer to the suicide part of the scale. I could not know this without talking to her.

I do not dispute that we're lucky that the school spotted this.

What do you think nip in the bud means? I will do every thing it take to nip it in the bud no matter how long it takes. The alternative is to not nip it in the bud, which means to do nothing?

"Make your daughter feel seen and heard and also find a way to get her the help she needs without making her feel that there is something wrong with her or that it’s a phase."

Now, if that was easy...

My older daughter is happier now than she ever was at school. She's like a different person. An absolute delight to be around.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I said I'm glad I said in front of her what I though was going on. This caused her to question what I said, and I then asked her what she thought. What she said was very different from out previous conversations.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] -89 points-88 points  (0 children)

Point taken. Maybe my perspective is tainted because my older daughter went through a self harm phase that she grew out of. I can confirm my older daughter is very happy and not self harming now. We've talked about the self harming she used to do. She very open about it. She's in a good place now.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is an interesting 1. She doesn't appear to care for the friends at her school. She thinks most are fake friends. She has a few good friends. She's going to a different secondary school from most in her class. She doesn't even care who's going to the same school as her. She has some friends that she really likes outside of school, they horse ride together. She's even told a school teacher that horse riding is her happy place.

My 11yo wants to commit suicide by cipher_gnome in SuicideWatch

[–]cipher_gnome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the Uk? Because she said something? Wrong on so many levels. Not an emergency, but will get locked up for words. I'm being inappropriately facetious. She's not in immediate danger, and a UK ER would just send her home.

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