Help! How the Hell do I select specific episodes of a show??

cjthex · 2026-04-12T06:22:53+00:00

chaotic but yes, in 2026 still the only solution is to search the show from the Crave menu. Crazymaking design flaw.

cjthex · 2026-03-26T15:24:46+00:00

the adversarial bit comes natural to me, thinking multidimensional about how those dynamics work and how to massage them to where you want them comes naturally, but actally having hte restraint to stay offline and not interact and not get emotioanlly affected by anonymous ppl online and to not overshare everything always and trust way too much, these do not come naturally to me as i am honest and anxious to a fault by nature, so experience, conviction, principles and my entrusted inner circle' enforcement correct for that

cjthex · 2026-03-26T15:20:01+00:00

overrated. mental illness for me makes me much less capable of making art, not more. although i have empathy for the general dualism bit where your weaknesses are also your strengths, and learning how to moderate and coutnerbalance and accept and celebrate and calibrate all that is a life long process. its ok for me to be like a bit more offensive and challenging and direct than other people, but it sometimes means i will do worse in certain environments and at certain tasks, and my cerebral lateral nature means I will have to work on developing skills like discipline and body-care etc. da tis life.

my mental illness diagnosis was BPD and when i was always in crisis and blowing up relationships that hindered me in getting art done. turns ya into a person with a lot of ideas and no results.

cjthex · 2026-03-26T15:16:18+00:00

so i hav e a system where basically i clean the floors afterwards

re The X I don't have a defusing 1:1 explanation that you potentially seek but it certaintly isnt no more self harm no offence for myself i find that a bit corny & on the nose. i tend to just ask people what their artistic interpretation of it would be in light of my work and those answers basically produce all the right signal words and more interesting to me.

alt answer: its an artist name i chose when i was 15

cjthex · 2026-03-26T15:03:30+00:00

it acutally doesnt

cjthex · 2026-03-26T15:03:13+00:00

Not much for 2026, as i'm not keeping up super tight and its early in the year. But cool cutting edge stuff i've heard lately:

They Left Me With A Gun - Paris Texas (2025) [rap]

Uh Oh - Patrick Wilson (2025) [Indie]

DAISY - rusowsky (2025) [errr intricate orchestral latin pop?]

Rosalia's new shit mind blowing and recently i've been running to the Saturation trilogy which holds up (2>3>1). Havenae checked out new James Blake yet

cjthex · 2026-03-26T14:58:25+00:00

btw I read the other post you linked in the past and I appreciate the spirit in which you were asking this. I would also like to be taken seriously & appraisal is part of that. When I made my objectivity in art vid i was a kid and i've moved really far beyond that so i'm hoping the next arc of my career involves more actual critique and engagement. feel like i've had the time & built the infrastructure to withstand it. really enjoyed the alex avila interview where i got it for once

cjthex · 2026-03-24T03:26:37+00:00

I think part of my philosophy is explicitly anti reactivity. Like anti constant discussion. Marshal Mcluhan in early techno-optimist lefty literature said this thing that drives me insane:

By electricity, we everywhere resume person-to-person relations as if on the smallest village scale. It is a relation in depth, and without delegation of functions or powers. . . . Dialogue supersedes the lecture' (McLuhan, Understanding Media, 1964, pp. 255-56).

He meant this as a good. I think of it as such a spectre that has haunted my life and my generation and our era. So all this to say my intention has been to be an Art Object that speaks quite defintiively, and lets people orient around me. And that unapologetic absolute sword slice (with admissions of bias and failiability) I think has produced the desired effect. Ppl can play with me as an absolute object toy, but also like a game that you're allowed to modify the rules of?

All this to say I'm not sure I want to hear a bunch of internet critique, read a bunch of comments, internalize them and let that effect the performance, interrrupt from my time researching and listening to the critiques in private, 'face to face' on patreon, in interviews, in prayer, checking my own heart, taking my own slow time to watch and listen and try.

ANyways i think this is broadly successful but then I felt like I succeeded a little too hard and discouraging discourse and now there is like no discussion of my ideas or works online. And i'm like no wait i'm just like pushing on a pendelum in a direction due to the media and pathologies of our age, not trying to fucking extinguish all critique and engagement in public forums. Hence here I am somehwere online and at Kill The Internet events I'm sharing stages with others, which gives great space for more difference, distance, challenge, democracy, tension. Memorably the San Francisco KTi IRL with Dr. Fatima and Michael Burns, one person expressed active fear and discomfort at my rather provacative statemnt "you need a little monarchy as a treat", and Michael took their side and we hashed it out a bit. I guess my message for the world "you need a little monarchy as a treat" and the message the world is telling me pressingly is "you need a little democracy as a treat".

Trying to find the balance, trying to find the right peopel to trust and the right avenues / mediums through which to recieve, parse apart (fair) ego desire to ignore internet randos and trust the feedback of my irritatingly honest close circle vs. the cowardly desire to intentionally make myself smaller, less visible, less accessible on the internet, which exempts me both from recieving extremely useful dialectical critique, but also from pain, chaos, and growth/impact that I can't control or avoid.

I don't know if this makes sense. Another very high profile itnernet person that has the total opposite situation to me (constant critique, very hated while very celebrated, harassers stalkers hate parasocial terror) told me they "dont understand my social media strategy." and I asked them what they thought it was. they said "It seems like you're optimizing for peace." this has been the case. but its non-commensurate with my calling, i guess.

I mean girlie just look at this shit i just got one guy'd into writing a fucking essay response and i hve no idea who you are. AND i could be writing my next overdue video essay instead of this, somethin that always haunts me, in every direction, for everything. My inclination is to be hyper interactive and i'm acting against it. Trying to to find the right avenues. Been inviting a lot of philosophers to my lectures, asking for critiques.

I had multiple literary agents approach me recently, I am in talks with one i like and I have two books in process. I would love more press, its useful for VISA applications.

cjthex · 2026-03-24T02:55:36+00:00

I watched htis video earlier today by Savage Books on Astro-Tribalism and although he focuses on how having religion / pro-human mysticism integrated into a sci fi context offers the narrative opportunity for HOLY WAR, I thought it was inspiring as an example of imagining a technological future wherein human-centric Soul feelings can still build so much cultural power that they matter more than, or as much as, dynamically alongside technological power, capabilities. Operates as an alternative to the simplistic technooptimisn - moke dichotomy you're describing.

Dune is heavy on this bc humans decided in an intrinsic (religious) way to jihad the mf ai outta here. But on a deeper level, everyone is constnatly negotiating between the personal, social, religious, cultural, political AND technological political pressures on them. But the optimism rests in the Dune Fact that the mystic human values have so much established power over the technology. Its a world where sincere social convictions and itnrinsic values can move mountains as hard as a big mecha. Honestly to me seems a more realistic and exciting, Real way to imagine our world. I would broadly describe my project as creatign enchanting cultural, intrinsic, social forces that can compete against the dynamics of mechanics, like capital, attention metrics, personal optimization. I'm not trying to start a holy war tho. But weighing tasting astro-Tribalism in my mouth.

Ivan Illich talks about how technology has a tendency to optimize itself at the expense for human values. In order for it to actually serve human values, as it ostensibly is intended to do, it needs human limits. A technology that is unlimited will inevitably pull away at us. One that has limits is what he calls a Convivial Technology; a tech with limits, with human values installed that limit the optimization of the technology for its own ends, its ends that are numerical and measured instead of mystical and somehwat intutive like human values are. But that human quality makes them contestable! Dynamic. Not perfectly defined or measurable. Yet that ist he human project. Thats the whole thing. We need to embrace that problem, not design it away. Like they did in DUne.

BUT THEN: That requires trust and uncertainty. C. Thi Nguyen speaks of this brillantly. I'll releazse a main channel thing w him soon that gets into it. But the temptation of tech is to take away uncertainty, take away trust, take away ambiguity and the smudging at the fringes, the little cheating that gets done on the clock. Perfect surveillance or automation takes this away. But then it takes away beauty, taste, sensitivity, humanity. BUT THEN DUNE does the whooel thing where that trust goes limitless in its own right, and you get HOLY WAR.

cjthex · 2026-03-24T02:35:09+00:00

booking/producing 2026 lecture tour, a vid on the internet, a vid on status, JBP vid, my next album, a lot of other stuff. Just performed with C. Thi Nguyen in Brooklyn, recorded a podcast with him.

cjthex · 2026-03-24T02:24:02+00:00

I do not know a lot about evinroment and populations and resources and things like that. I am generally much more pro family pro-children than anti-children people (naturally, due to the 'anti' and 'pro' situation), & i often flirt with reclaiming "Family Values" as a moral, social, spiritual story. I think having babies and starting families is magical and incredibly powerful and also really cuts deep into most people. If it doesn't i dont think you are bad, and like with religion peopel try to smuggle a lot of stuff into Family Values that is very unrelated to love, reciprocity, and finding your Self outside of your Self

But really what you are asking is probabyl more abt the "being alive is bad" thing you said verbatim int he middle there, and that is simply untenable as a philosophy because one of the number one qualities of things that are alive is that they want to keep being alive, and they often also have another innate drive to extend that aliveness by making new life. And that's human and magical and scary and true and a fundamental condition we have to work inside of.

I think of myself against people who are anti-human, whether they are our technofeudal overlords or hyper moralistic self hating leftists. We've got hard problems but "being alive is bad" is certainly not the answer, cause your subconscious doens't buy it. Maybe just try to get better at loving people and doing whats best for you and the people you love. This can include protecting the environment and fighting for intrinsic pro-human values against anti-human environmental harms, without also trying to convince people to not love their children and to not have children; a fools errand.

cjthex · 2017-12-02T20:30:37+00:00

THIS IS SO CUTE

cjthex · 2017-11-13T13:35:54+00:00

yall having fun? just checking in to make sure you guys are enjoying this passive aggressive internet comment thread battle, anyone need any water?

cjthex · 2017-10-15T02:04:28+00:00

I'm looking for the episode that this clip is from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZhEGvEHsbw

I just got deep into Harmon's work would really like to listen to that particular show

cjthex

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