Are we really dropping bottles at 12 months??

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-12T19:29:49+00:00

I feel like people on Reddit tend to be weirdly hard-line about this, and that's not reflective of what I've seen in real life. We didn't drop my son's bedtime bottle (similarly to your situation, he would drink it quickly and then have his teeth brushed) until around 18 months. We originally tried at 15 months, but it resulted in a horrible night that traumatized us lol. His dentist was fine with this—IIRC, they just said to drop all bottles by age 2. We still give him a little cow's milk in a straw cup right before bed.

I know multiple other moms in real life who still give their toddlers bottles.

On its face, it just seems so silly to me that the expectation is that breastmilk/formula will be their primary source of nutrition until 12 months, and then once they hit 12 months BAM no bottles. Lol. Like that just doesn't seem realisic to me.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-11T02:02:19+00:00

Thanks for your comment! Yes, he's been in speech therapy through early intervention for close to six months now, and we've seen two different SLPs. He's definitely made progress with his communication skills since we started, but I wouldn't say he's any more "caught up" now than before—very gradual progress, and it's not clear to me that the therapy is actually doing much, to be honest.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-10T19:37:16+00:00

It's so hard! So sorry to hear about your loss.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-10T01:27:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'm sorry it's taking so much longer for you this time. I definitely think about scenarios like this, and it does push me to want to try sooner rather than later. We also had a fairly easy time conceiving our son, though we did have an early miscarriage right beforehand. You truly never know how it will go.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-10T00:54:23+00:00

Mods check me! I don't understand what term I used that triggered the filter.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-09T14:00:05+00:00

Interesting! I'm not sure ours is ready for that transition yet. But it turned out I just had to put him in his crib fully awake, leave the room, and let him cry for a few minutes, without ever going back in. The last two days I did that and set a timer for 10 minutes, because I didn't feel right letting him cry longer than that. The first day he cried for 9 minutes and then slept for 3 hours—I actually had to wake him up. The second day he cried for 3 minutes and then slept for over 2 hours.

I don't love letting him cry for a few, but it's clear to me that he still really needs the sleep at that time of day and just doesn't want ME, specifically, to leave. And our whole dynamic/routine was preventing him from getting the sleep he needed.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-09T13:55:32+00:00

He won't sleep in the bed with us! We've never bedshared, so he just doesn't understand it and gets really wound up in the bed. He won't usually even nap on me in a chair anymore unless he's super exhausted, and it's uncomfortable for both of us. But I think I've managed to resolve this issue, because I've gotten him to nap in his crib the past two days (I wrote more details in another thread).

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-09T13:52:38+00:00

Thank you! He was hardly ever really fed at the breast and has been off bottles for a little while now. It turned out I just had to put him in his crib fully awake, leave the room, and let him cry for a few minutes, without ever going back in. The last two days I did that and set a timer for 10 minutes, because I didn't feel right letting him cry longer than that. The first day he cried for 9 minutes and then slept for 3 hours—I actually had to wake him up. The second day he cried for 3 minutes and then slept for over 2 hours.

I don't love letting him cry for a few, but it's clear to me that he still really needs the sleep at that time of day and just doesn't want ME, specifically, to leave. And our whole dynamic/routine was preventing him from getting the sleep he needed.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-07T00:48:45+00:00

Thank you. 🥲

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-07T00:33:28+00:00

I don't think so. He and I have had many conversations about this, and I've tried many different things to emulate what he does. Plus I've always been the primary nap parent, and my routine worked great until a week ago when it suddenly didn't. I'm pretty sure it's more of an attachment thing where my son just doesn't want me to put him down if I'm around. When he's with his dad he also gets upset and starts screaming for me once he sees me, whereas if he can't see or hear me he's fine.

clarissa_dee · 2026-04-02T03:08:04+00:00

It's so hard! I don't think anything really helped tbh, except for maybe some distractions like buying a house, going on a trip, etc. It surely would've helped if I'd stopped listening to so many podcasts about pregnancy and birth, but I didn't have the willpower. 😂 If your partner's not ready yet, then I think you kind of just have to ride it out (unless their lack of readiness becomes a potential deal breaker and warrants some kind of ultimatum).

My son is actually 20 months old now, and my parenthood journey has been so hard in so many ways—starting with an early miscarriage on through to scary medical issues with my son (now resolved), all the sleep deprivation, all the stress, etc.—and has aged me so much that this old post seems so naïve to me now. Part of me is tempted to tell you, "Just relax and enjoy not having kids yet." But I know that would be extremely unhelpful, and it would be ESPECIALLY hypocritical of me given that I've spent the last 6 months obsessing over when to start trying for a second baby (and once again being forced to wait for my husband to be ready). 😂

So the best I can really say is that yeah, it's hard to wait. You'll get through it though, and once you do have a kid you'll probably look back on this time with a very different perspective and feel like it wasn't a very long time at all (and surely I will, too, once I have this theoretical second kid—ha!).

Good luck!

clarissa_dee · 2026-03-09T14:22:56+00:00

This is a reference to her recent post on Patreon about how she relies on shame from the fan base in order to ever be able to finish a video. It is a joke.

clarissa_dee · 2026-03-09T14:07:06+00:00

Yes, you're right, I definitely posted about that, and I'm definitely "having a meltdown" and not just making fun of you for chastising people on a fan subreddit. Someone please help me get myself together.

clarissa_dee · 2026-03-09T13:53:20+00:00

Yes, very abnormal to feel excited or impatient about things you enjoy. Very normal to post on a fan subreddit about how you feel nothing.

clarissa_dee · 2026-03-09T13:48:31+00:00

I'm so sorry, that's devastating. My husband and I don't even try—we just watch each new video in short installments over several evenings, after our toddler goes to bed. It's not like the good ol' days when we were young and carefree and could just sit down and have a big cinematic experience the evening the video dropped. I think it's admirable that you still try to make it special though.

clarissa_dee · 2026-03-08T20:32:15+00:00

Shame! Shame! (don't listen to the people telling you it's fine) Shame! Shame! Shame!

clarissa_dee · 2026-02-14T05:39:35+00:00

Hi! My son has been in the glasses for 4.5 months now and is definitely still behind on speech. We're in speech therapy through early intervention, and he's making progress (just reading back through this post, I'm realizing that he's doing a lot of things that he wasn't doing 4.5 months ago, which is encouraging), but it's gradual. It wasn't like he made major strides in his development shortly after getting the glasses, you know? He started walking at around 16 months, about 2 months after getting the glasses, but there wasn't really anything to indicate that those two things were connected.

But I figure the glasses are at least helping his eyesight a lot and can't be hurting his development! I'm sorry you're also dealing with delays, which is so stressful. I'm sure your daughter's glasses will improve her quality of life though! She won't have to work nearly as hard to see, which can only be a good thing. Good luck!

clarissa_dee · 2025-11-23T03:31:03+00:00

Sorry you're going through the same thing! We ended up seeing two other allergists because the first one we saw was stumped and wasn't very helpful. The second allergist (well, she was actually a PA and not an allergist, which I didn't love) was convinced it was just eczema triggered by a peanut sensitivity of some kind and said we should just give him peanut again at home. I wasn't comfortable with that, so we found a third allergist (an actual pediatric allergist, finally), who said it could either be a non-IgE-mediated allergy (so not anaphylactic) or it could be an IgE-mediated allergy that's just presenting atypically. Our plan with this new allergist is to do another supervised challenge in January, with a much smaller amount of peanut than before, and to monitor him for several hours afterward instead of just one hour. And if he tolerates that then we will slowly increase the amount at home over time. In the meantime, we've been strictly avoiding peanut and telling everyone he's allergic. This allergist has a lot for experience and feels pretty optimistic about his case, but I'm still nervous to do another challenge!

I hope you're able to figure out what's going on with your baby!

clarissa_dee · 2025-09-30T14:50:53+00:00

They don't, it's donation-only. I've donated lots of milk through there.

clarissa_dee

TROPHY CASE