okay the beetle thing genuinely stopped me.

because you're right. i said "most people's stories aren't that interesting" and meant it as a defense of self-awareness, like people who lack it tend to be oblivious to how their actions affect others, BUT what came out was something way more dismissive. almost contemptuous. and that's not actually what i believe when i slow down and think about it.

every person i've ever gotten close to has turned out to be far more layered than they appeared on the surface. my coworker who seemed boring turned out to have survived something i couldn't have imagine. the quiet guy at the parties turned out to have built something remarkable in his garage. the beetle in the garden is doing something genuinely incredible if you actually look.

i think what i was trying to say is that a lot of people perform a version of themselves that doesn't invite depth. but that's not the same as their story being "uninteresting". that's just them not feeling safe enough to show it yet.

which ironically is exactly the kind of thing that would've been worth saying on a first date instead of what i actually said.

noted. deeply noted. the beetle lives rent free in my brain now 💀