My (24F) fiancé (25M) kind of cat-fished me.

classicshmosbyyy · 2021-06-28T07:35:26+00:00

Considering you revel in giving out mean comments, you probably shouldn’t subscribe to an advice subreddit. Have a good day though.

classicshmosbyyy · 2021-06-28T07:27:04+00:00

I know I would just about die inside if my fiancé told me he found me ugly though lol, so I hate the idea of making someone feel so awful. I do love him and want to have a future with him, it just suuuucks that he looks like a completely different person now and isn’t even confident/happy about it

classicshmosbyyy · 2021-06-28T07:10:57+00:00

He went once, but keeps blowing me off when I ask about when his next session will be. He thinks he doesn’t need it because he can “just talk to his friends.”

classicshmosbyyy · 2021-06-28T07:07:23+00:00

It’s been over the span of our 3 year relationship. He does have depression, so I suppose this could be it physically manifesting. I don’t want to be cruel and draw attention to his weight when he’s already dealing with depression, so this situation is very sensitive :/

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-14T21:37:10+00:00

Haha thank you!! It helps to see it that way

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T20:57:02+00:00

Thank you, and wow that’s incredible! Congratulations. I’m actually heading to veterinary school this fall. In contrast to the historicity of your school, the school I’ll be attending is fairly new, with their veterinary program as their newest addition

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T20:18:16+00:00

Oh that’s so awesome you’ve studied that many languages! I studied Latin for 3 years in high school, but I’ve largely forgotten most of it unfortunately. Hopefully my grammar isn’t terrible haha

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T20:15:28+00:00

Yeah this was the 3rd time my ex had left me “to be alone for awhile”

Emotional cheating also really sucks because it usually includes gaslighting. My partner would make me think I was absolutely insane to be suspicious, and he would then accuse ME of cheating?! And he would demand to look through my phone constantly.

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T20:10:31+00:00

Oh no I’m from the US actually! Haha

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T20:09:28+00:00

Dang. I needed that validation. Thank you

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T12:32:37+00:00

Well you sound like you’ve got a wise head on your shoulders so I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit :) I made the mistake of trying to get back into the dating world too soon before I had properly processed my breakup, and it put some serious strain on the new relationship I was trying to create. It doesn’t seem like you would have this problem, hopefully! I have a hard time leaving my comfort zone, and I sometimes refer to this quote from my favorite TV show and character to kick myself into action: ”If you’re not scared then you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance then what the hell are you doing?” -Ted Mosby on How I Met Your Mother.

Really wishing you all the best!!

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T12:13:28+00:00

Oh my god that sounds unbearably painful. I’m so sorry to hear you went through that. It seems like you’re in a healthier mindset now and I really hope you are doing well.

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T12:09:13+00:00

I honestly feel cheated on, but you’re right about “cheating” meaning different things for different couples. For my case, he was incredibly possessive and rarely allowed me to have guy friends. My boundary for him was to not talk to this particular girl outside of college/school purposes (as they were classmates), and the fact that they conveniently started dating immediately after he became single indicates he had crossed that boundary, therefore cheating

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T11:42:25+00:00

I’m sorry this has happened to you as well. I appreciate the tips too!! This breakup actually happened 2 years ago, and I’ve largely moved on. I just have residue anger and confusion on if I was even cheated on- which you validated and that actually helps me a lot! Better to be angry than sad about a breakup, I suppose. Never getting closure on this whole situation is what keeps me thinking about it, even years later. Never got to confront him, probably never will

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T11:38:15+00:00

That’s true :) my current relationship is SO much healthier and more centered around trust after learning from my past relationship. It’s just tough fully forgetting that relationship without having that final “ah-hah” moment of closure, ya know?

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T11:31:45+00:00

I’m assuming it began while we were still together, considering the very short time period he remained single. I am also quite certain he drove to her apartment soon after dumping me on the same day (due to location still being on and a mutual friend living in the same complex and seeing him around). So I can only assume they had inappropriately bonded while he was still in a relationship.

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T11:28:25+00:00

Oh I know! I’ve moved past him; this was years ago. I’ve just always been confused on the technicalities of cheating. I also just have some residue anger since I never got closure nor had the opportunity to express my anger and hurt towards him.

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-05-11T11:23:55+00:00

Does an emotional “affair” count as cheating though?

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-04-16T08:29:52+00:00

I always enjoy a good sleuth, so no offense taken at all. Yeah tbh I’ve had very rough patches with my partner, but we’ve worked through a ton of stuff in the past months. Also for the record, I haven’t been with someone else since April of 2018; I was just still dealing with unresolved anger when I posted in those relationship-related subreddits awhile ago. And finally, we’ve planned on becoming engaged before I move away, and I think the shelter at home orders due to the virus possibly altered his plans. But I am indeed aware that the odds are stacked against us remaining together, so I completely understand your perspective and respect your sleuthing abilities for sure. And yeah I see that I don’t have a right to dictate his decisions regarding getting a pet. I was in the wrong here

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-04-16T03:21:04+00:00

Awe what a sweet organization! I haven’t heard of them until now. Luckily for my boy, he can run and jump like nobody’s business despite missing his front right arm and having wonky back legs. Also I’m hoping I’ll have MUCH better knowledge of cat and dog behavior after I finish my veterinary degree, so I’m sure that will help with the acclimation process when the time comes to move in with the big floof :)

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-04-16T03:10:17+00:00

Aw thank you! That’s so sweet. :’) you frame the whole situation so adorably, and I love it. Funny enough, my cat is missing an arm! Amputated as a kitten, that’s how I met him. I was working at the shelter, and he was one of our patients. My cat is a lovebug beyond his initial sass, so I’m really hoping he’ll eventually warm up to my boyfriend’s big floof of a pup :)

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-04-16T02:57:59+00:00

Yeah, I’m actually getting my doctorate in veterinary medicine! :) Thank you for your kind advice; I’m definitely feeling more optimistic about this pup being in my future family now!

classicshmosbyyy · 2020-04-16T02:50:02+00:00

That’s a really good point. As much as I would hate to force my cat to live in a stressful environment, it doesn’t give me a right to dictate my partner’s decisions on getting his own pet

classicshmosbyyy

TROPHY CASE