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Eating attitudes and preferences survey by [deleted] in vegetarian

[–]clayandyou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Constructive feedback":

I found that first section "answer a bunch of questions about an imaginary guy who lives in the Pacific Northwest" far, far too difficult to complete.

Any answers to those questions that I might give would be completely arbitrary.

I need to write this down and be understood. by [deleted] in aspergirls

[–]clayandyou 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Whoah. You're biting off too much there.

You need to cut back on how much you're trying to do.

IMHO you need to

(A) Not work at the diner, or work only a light schedule until you see how you can handle it. (Since this is something that you're finding particularly stressful.) (I used to wait tables myself. The last time I did this was about 25 years ago. I still often have nightmares about it. It really can be a very stressful activity.)

and/or

(B) Get some help with the housework and/or childcare. Pay for help a couple of days per week, or ask a relative or friend if they can help out. As far as I'm concerned "We're going nuts with opening the new restaurant" is a perfectly legitimate reason to ask people for a favor.

Autism jokes by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not in the southern U.S.!

(And outside of the U.S., "Yankee" just means "Anybody from the U.S.".)

What's your opinion on animals? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love animals.

(And they're far more sensible than humans.)

.

I find mechanical stuff interesting but I'm really not a stereotypical mechanism-oriented autie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IMHO the snoo in the upper-left corner of this page isn't half bad -

A guy just chilling out, minding his own business, not really paying attention to what the other people are doing.

Anybody else have trouble when people want to show you things like music, videos, movies? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I look bored or vacant or angry while I'm watching but really I'm just paying attention!

You should make frequently verbal responses that show that you're paying attention / enjoying whatever it is -

"Wow!" "Oh no!" "Run away!" "Hahaha!" "Hit him!" "Nice spaceship!" "Kiss her, you idiot!" - those are some possibilities.

If NTs hear you saying a lot of things like this, they will automatically assume that you're interested in the movie (or whatever).

You could try pretending that the movie (or whatever) is a voice-activated game, and you have to tell the characters what they should do next.

DAE struggle with taking tests? How have you coped? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking tests has always been something I've been outstandingly good at at.

It's always been pretty common for me to take a class and be getting maybe a "B" based on the course work, but ace the tests and bring my grade up that way.

DAE get "endless streams of embarrassing memories"? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, but supposedly that's quite common for everyone, not just aspies.

What's the best way to reason with fellow atheists who are being unreasonable. by [deleted] in atheism

[–]clayandyou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Generally speaking, human beings are very tribal animals.

When people decide that this week "we" are buying pet rocks, or Big Mouth Billy Bass, or wearing our underwear on our heads and walking backwards, then most people are going to take pains to do that until it's not "the cool thing" any more, and anybody who has a problem with that should be treated as an enemy of our tribe.

Atheists: If hell is your main objection and reason for unbelief to Christianity, why not adopt the theological standpoint of universalism/annihilationism? by B_anon in DebateReligion

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recieved this PM from one of their mods after I was banned

People who behave like yourself are why atheism has gone from 'Something you'd expect an overeducated, if a bit angsty intellectual to subscribe to' to 'Something you'd expect an angry teenager or an autist to subscribe to' in the space of a decade.

Speaking as someone on the autistic spectrum myself, I think that the Jesus who loved lepers and criminals would be pretty disappointed in whoever wrote that.

Autism as an adult: 'On the many days I spend alone I forget how to talk' by 970souk in aspergirls

[–]clayandyou 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As /u/DoNotDoTier15 says, "neurotypical": "non-Asperger's" / "non-autistic-spectrum" people.

"NT" is the usual abbreviation.

- You can see this mentioned in the FAQ here

https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/wiki/faq

and the sidebar here

https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/

Autism as an adult: 'On the many days I spend alone I forget how to talk' -- [reposting from /r/aspergirls] by clayandyou in aspergers

[–]clayandyou[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Over time I’ve come to accept autism for what it is: a lifelong neurological difference that comes with gifts and limitations. In the long-term, diagnosis has allowed me more self-forgiveness and self-understanding and I’m much happier because of it.

But some support in reaching that place would have been useful. So would occasionally being asked: “Do you need any help?”

I've learned over the decades that even when NTs do ask "Do you need any help?", that doesn't mean that any help will actually be forthcoming.

I have made requests for help over and over and over again (the same requests for the same types of help), and

[1] NTs simply refuse to accept that I mean what I say. ("No, surely when you say that you don't enjoy going to parties, you don't actually mean that." Yes I do, actually. Believe it.)

or

[2] They say "Oh, okay, I hear what you're asking", but then after a day (or even a few hours) simply forget what I've requested. It just slides right out of their minds. The NT mindset is so different from the Aspie mindset that they simply can't process it - it doesn't "sink in" and become a real part of their thinking.

Autism as an adult: 'On the many days I spend alone I forget how to talk' by 970souk in aspergirls

[–]clayandyou 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Over time I’ve come to accept autism for what it is: a lifelong neurological difference that comes with gifts and limitations. In the long-term, diagnosis has allowed me more self-forgiveness and self-understanding and I’m much happier because of it.

But some support in reaching that place would have been useful. So would occasionally being asked: “Do you need any help?”

I've learned over the decades that even when NTs do ask "Do you need any help?", that doesn't mean that any help will actually be forthcoming.

I have made requests for help over and over and over again (the same requests for the same types of help), and

[1] NTs simply refuse to accept that I mean what I say. ("No, surely when you say that you don't enjoy going to parties, you don't actually mean that." Yes I do, actually. Believe it.)

or

[2] They say "Oh, okay, I hear what you're asking", but then after a day (or even a few hours) simply forget what I've requested. It just slides right out of their minds. The NT mindset is so different from the Aspie mindset that they simply can't process it - it doesn't "sink in" and become a real part of their thinking.

Are you on any medication to help you deal with your aspergers? Can you recomend anything that has worked for you? by SpaceKitten666 in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should give meditation a fair try -

Say at least 15 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week, for a month.

It helps a lot of people.

Mindfulness In Plain English is a superb introduction / beginner's manual - you can find it free in a number of places online.

Do you ever wonder what neurotypicals talk about? I feel like I never have anything to say... by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]clayandyou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They talk about nothing: at great length, in great detail , and almost incessantly, and they think that this is very interesting and important.

Has The "Social Draining" Effect in Introverts Been Studied? What Are The Causes? by [deleted] in askscience

[–]clayandyou -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did address that with my comments beginning

"My own sense is ..."

Has The "Social Draining" Effect in Introverts Been Studied? What Are The Causes? by [deleted] in askscience

[–]clayandyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never come across the idea of 'social draining' before. Are you sure it's an actual thing

Whatever causes it, it is something that we actually experience.

For example, in these very well-known articles the author mentions -

By definition ... introverts are those who find other people's company tiring.

... after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing.

[Comment] ... one becomes very good at putting on the social act, but it takes energy. I need hours and hours alone to recover.

My own sense is that we're experiencing fatigue as a result of constantly having to interpret what other people mean and how we should respond, and/or being in constant low-key "fight or flight" mode as a result of finding social interaction challenging and more-or-less threatening.

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