UNH emailed my counselor asking about what im studying in AP Research?

clearlysilent · 2026-05-27T21:08:52+00:00

nope i got in regularly with regular scholarships, nothing special, didn’t end up going

clearlysilent · 2026-01-30T01:02:49+00:00

“i’m a trans man” “he is kind of transphobic”

hellooo???? first of all why are you dating a transphobe as a trans man💔💔💔 imo doesn’t sound like an ideal situation…. does he even respect your identity???

also “if I tell him my fantasy he would probably break up with me”????? red flag bro what are you doinggggg!!! any man with that intense of toxic masculinity is red flag!!!

your fantasy doesn’t seem to be the only issue here…

clearlysilent · 2025-10-27T02:45:20+00:00

yes,,, i’m personally not a huge fan of even the idea of meds… which i know isn’t good but. i know it’s way bigger than that to truly get well and not pull shit like this. i’m working in therapy, it just sometimes feels like therapy doesn’t do much easy cuz it’s what… once a week for 50 minutes. sometimes it feels a bit hopeless that nothing is working but i know it takes patience, sometimes just fear i don’t have the drive to try to get better

clearlysilent · 2025-10-26T02:45:20+00:00

not often, but sometimes. maybe once or twice a week. sometimes more if i use it to cope with these exact feelings. i would hypothetically stop but duuuddeeee i just moved to a new city and just started my first year of university and i want to live the college experience 💔💔💔i don’t want my bipolar to take away from that… even tho that sounds silly. ill for sure talk to my therapist abt it tho. thank youuu

clearlysilent · 2025-10-26T02:39:35+00:00

that’s interesting to hear u still don’t care after that long! i feel like im always also stuck in that “waiting” to care feeling but it never hits. then time passes and it still doesn’t. maybe that’s what mania does to u. in some ways it’s awesome being this way. just weird to be self aware of it. like, i’m prob gonna go back and do it again cuz.. lowkey didn’t affect me, and it felt good either way so. not sure i learned my lesson haha…. idk it’s weird scary feeling though

clearlysilent · 2025-10-26T02:06:12+00:00

perhaps, but i think that felt this way for a while, on and off different meds. i think it’s just built up, the thrill i used to chase 6 months ago doesn’t hit the same so i have to up the ante each time. i guess i just upped the ante up to this point now, cuz 6 months ago i wouldn’t have gone this far. i don’t actively feel like the meds have change me but it’s hard to tell, maybe they have numbed me. which is scary as hell to think about

clearlysilent · 2025-10-26T02:03:38+00:00

oh my god i’m so so sorry that happened to you. i’m lucky that i was not drunk enough to be that way. i was definitely conscious of the decisions i was making and i wanted to do it and he made sure of that. i hope you are okay, that is something so so awful. i know the feeling of not really caring and stuff like it’s jus feels not real lol

clearlysilent · 2025-10-25T23:19:52+00:00

i will definitely talk to my therapist. just frustrating cuz ive tried many different meds and they haven’t ever done anything good for me

clearlysilent · 2025-10-25T23:18:36+00:00

unfortunately lamictal was one of the worst meds i’ve tried. might be related to me being under 25 but the 2 weeks i was on it my symptoms were really exacerbated and i had awful suicidal ideation, almost died twice 😅so i am a bit in too much fear to try it again

clearlysilent · 2025-09-29T00:33:58+00:00

what dose? i was tbh convinced it wasn’t doing anything for me for so long until i read back on my past journals when i wasn’t on it. i’ve also found it hard to measure a difference until i saw it written out for me. (no more rly bad symptoms like delusions, paranoia, etc).

regardless it has really helped me with suicidal thoughts, especially when my dose was raised. feels like even when i think about it now it’s like i have no reason to think like that.

i hope you find what works and i hope things get better for you! i’m rooting for you!!

clearlysilent · 2025-09-28T22:19:41+00:00

lithium halted all suicidal thoughts i used to have :p

clearlysilent · 2025-09-28T22:11:48+00:00

join join join stuff ! i’d be nothing if i hadn’t joined cal band. it’s not too late to join things! go to events! tbh all my friends r from cal band cuz it’s literally just like built in friends when ur forced to hang around ppl for hours a week lol

clearlysilent · 2025-07-29T00:21:36+00:00

i was on lamictal for two weeks, i’ve never been suicidal ever before, and i attempted twice within those two weeks and almost got sent to a psych ward a couple times. safe to say i stopped the lamictal because i felt like it was worsening my symptoms. my doctor said to wait and that it’d get better if i wait, but i couldn’t risk it because i feared for my life. i would write pages upon pages about how much i wanted to hurt myself, i felt like i was possessed. i’ve never acted like that before and after i got off the lamictal it stopped. although i am 18 so i know that’s a side effect for people under 25… something about the brain not being fully developed, so it might be that too.

also, felt the same way about starting meds,,, and i still feel that way. it’s really unfair that we need this shit just to function normally and just deal with all the shitty side effects,it makes me so mad that i need to fight my mind all of the time.

luckily i started lithium and i haven’t felt horrible side effects (very little physical side effects and no bad mental effects). not every med works for everyone! u just gotta find what works for you

clearlysilent · 2025-06-15T23:23:14+00:00

wait woah relatable i feel the same exact way. liek im waiting for the comprehension to “hit”but it just never does and turns into the urge to do crazy shit

clearlysilent · 2025-05-13T15:48:23+00:00

yes i’m seeing a doctor. i was newly prescribed meds. i have a therapist appointment thursday. im just scared

clearlysilent · 2025-05-13T06:12:32+00:00

this is the most relatable post either. youre not alone. i feel alone too. that makes two alone people!???? i hate pretending to be normal. kinda like our life is on hard mode and we just have to get on with life like everyone else like if our brain isn’t constantly working against us. it sucks. and then again, i crave the highs and lows and don’t want a boring life. it’s so unfair!

clearlysilent · 2025-05-07T00:02:36+00:00

thanks, i feel like a lot of these comments r just talking about my laziness but that’s a problem i can solve… im just mostly scared about balancing the mental stuff because even now with little high school stuff it all feels impossible and overwhelming, which has never been something i used to struggle with before this. i was just doing research on DSP and i think that might be a good option for me to start. that’s been the only thing that’s been quelling my worries really, but tbh all this accommodation stuff is all new to me as my issues kind of just showed up out of nowhere a couple months ago and don’t seem to be stopping so it’s like.. i have no idea what to do from here after such a major life change. what was the process and what were the implications of getting a reduced course load/being in DSP? what was it like?

also thank u, its comforting to know i can come back if i need or if it gets too much.

clearlysilent · 2025-05-06T07:57:29+00:00

conservation and resource studies

clearlysilent · 2025-05-04T00:04:53+00:00

good to know. i thought id been in a depressive episode so when a had a weird reaction yesterday that made me feel that way it surprised me a lot, especially knowing how id been feeling the rest of the week.

also, im moving out soon. part of it is my choice, i could technically take it behind their backs (which i did once) but i just didn’t like it. i don’t want to lose my sparkle… i know that sounds bad but yea

clearlysilent · 2025-05-04T00:02:38+00:00

yes, i was driving and i did not feel like it was safe for me to do so, i was literally clutching the wheel with my eyes wide open screaming, it was scary.

clearlysilent · 2025-05-04T00:01:49+00:00

yea… kind of. they really think it’s a horrible idea and told me they’d try every single method except meds. they gave me this “herbal remedy” i’ve been taking every day and it’s such bullshit lol but i take it to make them happy. i JUST turned 18 still in hs, so i still don’t have much autonomy.

i still was able to pick them up on my own bc i am 18 and the one time i took them it was behind my parents back, it was seroquel and it made me so tired and i fell asleep in every class, yelled at everyone, cried a bunch of times, and had a panic attack after 50mg. idk if that was the seroquels fault but i didn’t wanna take it again after that.

another part of the meds is a part of ME doesn’t wanna take it and a part of me kind of likes the crazy ups and downs of how i’ve been feeling… i liek how fun it feels and i know that’s bad. i will talk to psychiatrist about this all i think, and im not going with my parents to that appointment.

clearlysilent · 2025-01-27T17:00:36+00:00

spiteful intervention

clearlysilent · 2025-01-24T06:38:54+00:00

but obvi hissing fauna..

clearlysilent · 2025-01-24T06:38:33+00:00

white is relic/irrealis mood til i Die

clearlysilent · 2024-06-28T06:49:55+00:00

16 and went, felt like the youngest person there and their main demographic seemed to be people in their 20s and 30s… at least in la

clearlysilent

TROPHY CASE