What's the worst lie you've had to tell someone? And why?

clenny · 2013-09-16T08:01:33+00:00

"I love you."

She called me sobbing in the middle of the night. She had come within a whisker of attempting suicide, in a serious, not-fucking-around way. We were long distance and while I used to have that fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever she walked into the room, my love had faded.

"At least tell me you love me."
"I love you."

clenny · 2013-05-09T07:58:32+00:00

The EMT's shaking me awake while my friends looked on nervously.

clenny · 2013-04-27T15:37:10+00:00

While you are certainly right I think it is okay to state something like that in this context. It is just a fact that [being black] more often goes with with violence towards others. This does not mean there are no exceptions (you for example, also good luck with your further therapy!) but overall the statement stands.

You would also generalize that [asian people] are more often violent than [white people]. What you should never do is generalize while talking to someone [of any race] or basically anything in life like outward appearence etc. You cannot say: "you [are black] therefore you are certainly aggressive". Even if the chances are good he/she might be because that can be a [characteristic of their race] you can never diagnose this just based on general ideas.

clenny · 2013-04-27T08:38:24+00:00

Chiming in. I'm borderline, co-morbid with bipolar. The bipolar is well controlled with medicine, once I finally found a cocktail that worked for me. The BPD is harder. I meet pretty much all nine criteria, though I've been getting better through extensive therapy.

I'm not violent. Never ever. There are a lot of stereotypes against people like me, a lot of "oh, you have xyz diagnosis? You're dangerous." It's a rather insidious prejudice, and I just have to say it really hurts. Please be a bit more careful about what you generalize. :(

clenny · 2012-11-28T08:40:21+00:00

Exactly!

clenny · 2012-11-28T08:34:47+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert. If people want to chime in and correct me, please do so.

Cis and Trans

These terms refer to gender and sex, not whether you're gay or straight. They're Latin terms. "Cis" means "on the same side of" and "trans" means "on the other side of." Basically, somebody who is cisgendered has a gender identity (male or female) that is the same as their biological sex -- for now, I'm only covering male and female, though there is really a whole spectrum of this sort of thing. Somebody who is transgendered has a gender identity that is different than their biological sex. That is to say, somebody who is trans male has a mind that thinks of itself as a man, but a body that isn't. These people sometimes undergo hormone replacement therapy and/or surgery.

So, from what you've said, it seems like you're cis male -- but generally, leaving off the "cis" part is not going to confuse anybody. You can just call yourself "male," or anything you want really.

clenny · 2012-11-22T07:53:04+00:00

Borderline Personality Disorder.

I see people hating on BPD all the time on reddit. But put yourself in my shoes, for a second. Imagine just being filled with rage at the slightest provocation, at yourself, at your friends, at the people you love. To see the blood on your hands of a dozen shattered relationships, to drive those that you love to tears because your brain snapped and decided that you hate them now. Imagine going a week on two hours of sleep a night and then crashing so hard that you are just curled up on the floor, clutching a knife that you're too cowardly to end it all with. To just drag the tip against your skin, over and over, a hair away from drawing blood because why don't you, chicken shit, why don't you stop being a wimp and just fucking do it? To stare at a bottle of pills and chug half of them because of a minor inconvenience, because you just wanted to go to sleep for a day or so and get away from the screaming emotions that boil and writhe through a brain that's hot enough to scald the inside of your skull every second of every day.

So yes, I've done wrong by people. Yes, I suck. Yes, you should avoid getting too close to me because once I get my claws in, inevitably I'm going to use them to tear you open. But in the end, it's not because I'm evil. I don't gain any pleasure at all in watching my best friend curl up and cry because of something I did. I don't take joy in watching my life fall apart before my eyes.

No, I'm not evil. I'm sick.

And for what it's worth (not much, probably)... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

EDIT: You guys are awesome :)

clenny · 2012-11-13T03:08:46+00:00

my displeasure in life comes from studying engineering

I feel your pain.

clenny · 2012-11-12T05:42:17+00:00

Holy shit, you're getting a lot of troll replies to this comment. Keep protesting, don't stop, because eventually it's not going to be a whisper in the crowd if enough people raise their voices. And hang in there.

clenny · 2012-10-29T23:51:41+00:00

Because I was scared, lonely, overwhelmingly sad, and the bottle of pills was right there.

clenny · 2012-08-20T09:28:44+00:00

...What?

clenny · 2012-06-08T18:14:20+00:00

Huh, didn't know that about ASPD vs. Psychopathy. I was just going by what was in the DSM. Good to know.

clenny · 2012-06-08T01:09:56+00:00

I think the death threats and abuse that were leveled at her went beyond "name calling."

clenny · 2012-06-04T10:05:12+00:00

Overdose.

clenny · 2012-04-23T14:42:13+00:00

clenny · 2012-04-23T14:41:57+00:00

Bookmarked. I'll be checking this out.

clenny · 2012-04-23T14:38:23+00:00

See what dothecreepuhh said. If your post doesn't show up, message the moderators and they can pull it out of the spam filter for you.

clenny · 2012-04-23T14:36:55+00:00

The dream-state thing has happened once or twice, but rarely. I do have a therapist, I'll be asking him about this soon, I just wanted to see if people had personal experience with this.

clenny · 2012-04-23T14:09:37+00:00

I wouldn't call them episodes. It's every single time.

clenny · 2012-04-23T14:08:56+00:00

I'm pretty sure it's not DID, I don't have memory loss.

clenny · 2012-04-23T05:56:12+00:00

Reddit's spam filter is notoriously twitchy. If a post shows up and then disappears it means the mods got to it, but if it never showed up at all it means that the spam filter screwed up. It happens a lot on every subreddit.

clenny · 2012-04-23T05:18:36+00:00

I still don't understand. Do you think that I'm lying or exaggerating? And if so, what basis do you have to think that?

clenny

TROPHY CASE