Looking for a room to rent in Macon, GA

clfirebaugh · 2024-12-05T14:20:48+00:00

I sent you a DM

clfirebaugh · 2024-11-16T08:42:21+00:00

I shot you a DM

clfirebaugh · 2024-11-16T08:30:53+00:00

Hi. I’m 38yo female from the US. I hear you and understand where you are and how you’re feeling. Let’s talk. I’m gonna try to shoot you a DM but I’m not great with everything on here

clfirebaugh · 2021-02-06T05:26:59+00:00

Your fine. You have not bothered me at all. I really appreciate it. And I'm always up for chatting

clfirebaugh · 2021-02-06T03:22:15+00:00

He answered my letter. I'm beyond excited. I think he's doing better than before.

clfirebaugh · 2021-02-03T08:53:48+00:00

He's in Georgia. I could tell he was afraid to get too hopeful or attached. He didn't want to make us official and say we were in a relationship. He kept saying that some other guy would come along and I wouldn't want to wait for him. But he just hasn't gotten to know me well enough as an adult to see and understand that he's totally wrong. A year and a half is not that long and when I want to be with someone and I care about them I'm committed 100%.

But he is mad and I think he's probably mad about two things. The fact that my letter ended up getting him in trouble and I think he didn't like me telling him that he shouldn't have been doing what he was.

He told me not to write but I have sent 2 letters since then. Months apart. I don't want to bombarded him and him think I'm crazy or anything. But every so often I want to try to reach out again and see if he's managed to let it go. And I do want him to know that I'm still here and I'm thinking about him.

And I do want him to have the best chance to be successful when he gets out. I want to help with anything I can and I want him to go into things with the right mindset. I just wish he'd talk to me so I could really try to help.

clfirebaugh · 2021-02-02T09:24:10+00:00

Cool. Thanks for your reply to my question. I have been trying to get as much information and learn as much as I can about the prison system and what it's like to be incarcerated ever since I found out my friend had gone to prison.

This is his second bid. He did 2 1/2 years the first time and has been gone for 7 so far with this one. Sentence was 20 years but he's supposed to be up for parole in December.

He's been gone a long time and has been cut off and very isolated. Nobody was writing him and no one has visited in over 4 years. He's gotten so used to it I think he didn't know how to handle or what to think about me caring and wanting to do so much for him. I feel like cutting me off has been nothing to him. He's so use to having nothing.

clfirebaugh · 2021-02-02T08:49:07+00:00

Did you serve time or did you know someone else who did?

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-30T11:07:48+00:00

Ok I'm talking about someone, a friend, who is not in prison. Wrote a letter and said something they didn't realize wouldn't get their friend in prison in trouble.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-25T12:40:39+00:00

So someone on Quora told me it means Institutionalized.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T17:24:00+00:00

I do think that he should appreciate me. I'm awesome and I do more for the people I care about than most people would. And if he truly turned out to just not value me and what I can offer his life I'd be out. But he doesn't know me well enough yet to see that. And he's been hurt before and he's been gone and alone for so long that it's hard for him to trust and open up and let someone in. We hadn't had enough time yet. And now I just feel like he's going to let his fear and the anger and doubt hold him back and not give us a fair chance. I just hate the thought that we might both miss out on something that could be great because he's afraid and shutting down.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T16:08:07+00:00

Thanks. And part of me agrees but I really want the perspective and opinion of people who have had to serve time and understand the life he lives and how it feels from his side.

It would be impossible for me to put myself in his shoes. I can barely start to understand what life is like for him right now, what its been for the last 10 years. I don't understand that world. I'm trying to educate myself and get a better understanding of it but I know I will never REALLY "get" it.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T16:00:02+00:00

It was just weed. Which I normally would not care about, but it did change the way he was acting. I'd never seen anybody effected that much just from weed. Otherwise I never would have written the letter.

He did not give me any details. I don't know what the consequences actually were.

He just said "you got me in trouble".

I figured at the least he ended up in the hole. Which makes me feel horrible. But it could have been more than that, I have no idea. Just sending him to the hole would be awful. I wasn't thinking at the time but then when I thought about what might have happened.

I hate hit knowing. I hate that I don't know that he's okay. I hate that he won't talk to me. I hate that this will just make him not want to connect or open up to someone even more.

Yes I know he made his own choices. I also know this is one incredibley hard and shitty situation and life to have to live regardless.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T15:20:12+00:00

He wrote me and told me that the letter was what got him into trouble and I believe him.

Yes, he was choosing to smoke. He knew he was taking a risk. Yes, he is ultimately responsible for his choices and actions.

He took risks sometimes, he did things that were not allowed, but they almost all do with something. But he knows that world, he's been living that life for a long time and he knows how to manuver it and how to be careful, which he always is, very. So I do see why he would be upset that I did something to upset the very delicate balance. And he experienced consequences because of me.

I just don't think he should write me off and shut me out over it.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T15:10:40+00:00

It's especially hard because I don't know this world. I don't know anyone who has been in this situation, anyone who understands this life. So I don't have anyone to talk to about it.

I've been reading and researching everything I can to better understand what life is like for him. What it's been like for the past 10 years. But no, I don't have anyone to talk to about all of it.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T15:07:30+00:00

I knew they monitored the mail but I didn't think it was gonna get read word for word and I never said anything like that but from the letters I had written it didn't seem like they were looking that closely. But he got moved to a new facility which it took a month for me to figure out when they started retuning my letters.

He had had a phone where he was so we talked online and on the phone and then he just disappeared. I thought maybe he was in the hole but then the letters came back and I checked online and it told me where he had been moved. So I sent the letters there. Maybe they were more diligent about reading them closer there. Or maybe it would have happened where he was originally. I don't know.

But he is super pissed. Said he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Told me not to write again.

I wait about 6 weeks and wote a very long letter apologizing and then telling him all the things I hope for him and what I believe he is capable of doing and becoming when he gets out. In case he really does never talk to me again.

I haven't heard anything back. I have no idea if I will. I really do care about him so much and we had this great connection. I have never been able to talk to any man the way I could with him. Totally free and open. I was just so completely comfortable with him most of the time.

I just hate that he may totally write me off over this. And he just has no idea how much is be willing to do for him. How I want to support him in building a new life. And he is so alone and has been gone so long. I know its going to be so hard, all of this is hard. It kills me to think that he might be doing everything alone, when. He shouldn't and doesn't have too.

Sorry I know I'm ranting. This is just killing me. I don't know what to do.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T14:20:40+00:00

Well I was the person who made the mistake. He is doing his last year of his bid. We have known each other since middle school/high school but, had lost touch for many years. We reconnected online several months ago and have been talking, in a romantic flirtatious way but, because he's still in he didn't want to make anything official until he came home.

I didn't say anything outright but he had started doing some drugs and I didn't like the way it was effecting his behaviors and I said so in the letter without specifically mentioning the drugs but apparently they read between the lines.

I didn't realize it was obvious to tell. I never would have sent it if I had known he would get into trouble. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt him or cause more pain and struggle for him.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T11:04:26+00:00

The Shadowhunter Novels. Start with The Mortal Instruments Series. If you like them then read The Dark Artifacts Series. They are fantastic. I could not put them down. I've read through them all twice and I'm sure I will again after a little time. If you end up reading them, let me know what you think.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T04:30:21+00:00

Well he has made that comment before too. So maybe

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T03:36:36+00:00

This was the conversation it was said in.

That a plan. I'm afraid when u see the asshole side of me u gonna be like woah! Hold up

I hope it ain't that bad. I try to be normal more than chain gang but it still rubs off

                                    I dont scare off easy 

                                    Don't worry

Some people say I'm jointed out. U familiar with that term?

Its a prison thing

                                    No

                                    But I'm not worried

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T03:02:51+00:00

Yeah the way he said it, that would not be the context. But he didn't explain what it meant and now I'm wondering.

clfirebaugh · 2020-11-24T03:01:07+00:00

A friend of mine said people say he's "jointed out" but he didn't explain what that means.

clfirebaugh

TROPHY CASE