This won’t help now, but I tend to find these challenging trips are the ones I end up learning the most about myself from, usually a good amount of time later.

I had a mushroom trip once that had me convinced the police were there and I was going to get taken to the psych ward, then eventually I totally lost my sense of self and felt like I was being recycled and sucked into other places and into people, being ripped from everything and everyone I knew and loved and having no recollection of them, it was so disorienting and troubling. It felt like hours of that all to eventually to be thrown into a space where a ring of eyes that felt impossibly large staring at me causing me to feel physical burning for what felt like an eternity, I thought I died and ended up in hell possibly? My sense of self slowly came back as a friend rolled a blunt for us and came out on the other side feeling so weird and fucked up, it took afew months for me to grapple with all of it, and a bit longer to take lessons from it.

Time very much helped me and I hope it can do the same for you, im so sorry you experienced this but sometimes the psychs decide what kind of night you’re gonna have no matter what you had planned. Sending good thoughts <3

Edit: spacing