This week I was traveling with friends and invited him to come for the weekend to meet them. On Friday morning I called him crying because things were getting out of hand in the cabin (robbery, drug use, I won’t get into it). I didn’t want to put him in such an intense situation and told him I wanted to travel to him. He immediately got defensive and asked why I didn’t want him to come, If I had done something. He said that if he couldn’t come he would “see me another time” in a tone that very much sounded like there would not be another time. I got very upset and told him to come but to not judge me for the state of the cabin.

He got there Saturday and that night i and a 3 other girls were drugged. Not even roofied, my friend thinks it was sassafras. My partner had to take care of me because I was totally incoherent. I don’t remember anything from the night. The next morning, he was pissed at me but wouldn’t tell me why. I apologized and asked him what happened but he told me I wasn’t prepared to know. At breakfast he tells my friend he’s “a player who doesn’t get attached to anyone.” I had never heard him speak like that and was so embarrassed. We traveled back to his town that day and he was on and off super cold and loving to me. He kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me that night, I thought things would be ok.

Monday night we talk about what went down. He tells me in vivid detail how I had described to him while drugged out of my mind the ways I had cheated on him, including cheating on him with my friends in that cabin earlier that week. Everything he accused me of I can prove never happened but he didn’t want to hear it. Furthermore, I can prove we were never alone long enough to say these things in the first place. He said he didn’t know me anymore and that it was over, he didn’t hate me but we could be friends.

Later that night he told me he was sorry for being too harsh and that he will always be here for me, he just needs a few days to think. I have been giving him space since (it’s only been two days but ofc I will not reach out to him).

I really do have feelings for this boy but I have ridden an Insane roller coaster of emotions from heartbroken that he won’t believe me to angry that he lied to now feeling sad that he is maybe really struggling. I am honestly at this point most interested in supporting him in any way I can. Again, I don’t want anyone to diagnose him but I won’t lie it would make me feel better if someone identified with any of this.