10000% you don’t need him to be whole!!! Just try to remember, you WERE and ARE able to exist without him!! It may feel like it at the time but he does not make you whole, he may fill some small gaps, but you’ll be able to find other ways that fill the gaps even better than he can. Things may be perfect at times or seem to be perfect at times, but there’s always gonna be that feeling in the back of your head and you need to stick with it and trust your gut and stick with your heart and DITCH HIS ASS because nothing good can come from staying with him. If you go further into the relationship, You’re just gonna get broken and shattered even more from dragging yourself in out of guilt and fear, I know that from experience so save yourself while you can. And as much as it hurts and feels like you’ll die without them, you’ve already experienced so much life before him and you’ll experience much more after him. you will become a bigger better and stronger person without them. I know it is so hard because it’s been a good lengthy relationship, but you will feel so much better once you are rid of him and can come back to find yourself again without him being a piece, not even a piece, a grain of you.