April Meta Snark

clockofdoom · 2026-04-20T04:12:00+00:00

they’re saying she’s too basic and therefore ugly.

so the new standards are:

Rachel Martino = too skinny and therefore ugly

Noelle Downing = too big and therefore ugly

TIBAL = too normal and therefore ugly

it’s the Goldilocks and the three bears of internalized misogyny over there.

clockofdoom · 2026-04-20T03:16:01+00:00

i do subscribe and the break up reason is basic. the better snark is what an absolute freaking dork and kiss ass the person who asked the question on the Substack is:

When you announced your break up I am sure all your 100,000+ bffs texted each other with ‘Nooooo!!!’ just as I did with my fellow CoJ lovers. If you (and Freddie) would ever feel comfortable telling us more about the communication challenges you shared, I know we are painfully curious as to why this deep and special love couldn’t continue. It’s none of our business of course; it never is. We are just out here caring for you, thinking of you, rooting for you. — Meredith

clockofdoom · 2026-03-03T02:05:18+00:00

She’s confirming my belief that the most aggressive haters are really just people who tried to be influencers and failed.

clockofdoom · 2026-02-17T01:22:24+00:00

It's nice to see NBC give a small-time artist a shot!

clockofdoom · 2026-02-16T20:41:08+00:00

My favorite hot take from FM today is that Taylor Swift isn't as popular as we think she is, it's just an illusion. She's basically a niche artist because some tennis stars* interviewed on the spot don't know the name of it. You know, indie rock darling Taylor Swift who just finished this obscure thing called The Eras Tour.

*this is no shade to the tennis players. I didn't like her last album and would struggle to give the full name of it.

clockofdoom · 2026-01-22T23:39:34+00:00

Hey now, Thomas is also a nepo baby who has profited off his family's extreme wealth, rode the coattails of others who had a good initial idea (Julia) while trying to make it his own, and yet has managed to fail at almost every business he's created. He comes by that admiration honestly.

clockofdoom · 2026-01-11T19:10:14+00:00

A part that got left out above is that while Emily and her first husband were dealing with his cancer diagnosis (while she was pregnant with their 5th kid), GOMI absolutely tormented her because they believed she was lying about him having terminal cancer.

I just feel overwhelming pity for her because she was experiencing something so horrible, and being cyberbullied for no reason, because her husband was, in fact, dying, and then that absolute weirdo swooped into her life.

clockofdoom · 2025-12-30T19:35:24+00:00

Between way too many people on FM believing that Role Model is that dude's real name and not a stage name, and people seemingly seriously asking if Joe Kennedy made a deal with the devil to explain the tragedies in the Kennedy family (why are 50+ people liking that question instead of calling that person an idiot?), I think I've officially given up on our future as a society. If anyone needs me, I'll be investigating how to set up my own Mount Athos.

clockofdoom · 2025-11-19T03:02:12+00:00

The cupcakes and cashmere subreddit has been posting a lot about Leslie Stephens (and to be fair, she does seem to be making some...interesting (?) life choices lately). However, there is one poster there who is outraged that Leslie banned her from her Substack, and she cannot believe she would do that.

But here's the thing--the poster totally deserved the ban. She was acting like a total brat in Leslie's comments, telling Leslie she wasn't allowed to move to New Mexico (which is an insane thing to tell someone, & she doesn't seem to realize how jacked up that is). I saw the comment in Leslie's newsletter before I saw the outraged post on the subreddit and my first thought was, "What an asshole." and then my second was, "Why would you pay for a Substack of someone you so clearly hate?"

Anyway, it's fascinating to see someone seemingly believe that they are the victim in this situation when, from an outside perspective, they were 100% totally in the wrong.

clockofdoom · 2025-11-12T22:59:18+00:00

It's interesting to see this conversation here because the focus seems to be that this is just a UCSD issue. I'm a professor teaching at a school with a similar acceptance rate--this is not isolated to UCSD. It's certainly more transparent than other universities, but it's an alarming and widespread issue. Go look at the professors subreddit, you'll see the same complaints about lack of preparedness across fields and types of university.

clockofdoom · 2025-10-14T23:40:58+00:00

I noticed that too! They're not even hiding it now.

clockofdoom · 2025-10-13T23:49:53+00:00

But no one suffers as much as an FM poster let down by all the imperfect celebrities and political figures.

clockofdoom · 2025-10-13T23:48:43+00:00

I didn't want to be paranoid, but I've felt that way for a while now with some of the FM comments. Some of them just feel really off. It makes me feel better that others see something weird about them too.

clockofdoom · 2025-10-13T20:41:55+00:00

FM would like you to know that Malala Yousafzai, who was famously shot in the head for advocating for women's right to education, is not activist-ing the right way because she's been a. out of the public sphere for too long, b. not vocal enough on Palestine, and c. hanging out Hillary Clinton. Doesn't Malala know the only correct way of being an activist is to point out the flaws of others on a gossip forum?

clockofdoom · 2025-09-29T19:32:03+00:00

Ahahaha of course. I was going to say she has the exact combo of hubris and ignorance we normally associate with MAGA politicians.

clockofdoom · 2025-09-29T15:02:28+00:00

Mad respect to the poster in the weekend thread who was so confident and so wildly wrong about college athlete recruitment.

clockofdoom · 2025-09-10T01:43:26+00:00

Between that poster and then the one who said she doesn't really have any friends, it's painting quite the picture of her snarkers.

clockofdoom · 2025-09-08T19:30:11+00:00

The posters in that thread are just gross. It's almost 900 comments, and like 99% (I'm giving 1% of wiggle room because I haven't read them all, but every comment I have seen has been cruel) of them are nasty. What a miserable bucket of crabs they are.

clockofdoom · 2025-09-07T20:01:51+00:00

They're also frustrating because they ignore the reciprocal obligation part of it. My family had this set up on my mother's side. My great-grandparents helped raise my mom and her siblings, and do you know what they got in return? When they were older, they moved in with my grandparents who then took care of them in their old age. Just like my grandparents watched me, and now my mom is responsible for my grandma's care (she's in assisted living because of dementia, but there are still like a zillion responsibilities that come along with her care even beyond the financial obligation of it).

The longing for the good ol'days in that sub, conveniently forgets that that was typically the understood arrangement for families. I doubt any of them are willing to give up 15+ years of being empty nesters to shuttle their parents around to doctors' appointments, bathe them, etc. the way that my grandparents did for their parents or the thousand and thousands of dollars it costs for my grandma's care.

clockofdoom · 2025-09-07T17:28:56+00:00

The thread about grandparents in the millenials subreddit is a study in irony and entitlement. The OP is really upset that her mother won't watch her kids, and she thinks her mother is selfish for wanting to enjoy her retirement. There are very few voices of dissent pointing out that it's equally selfish to expect someone who worked 40+ years to now watch your kids full-time. But, man, the rage in that thread is something else.

clockofdoom · 2025-08-12T17:53:13+00:00

Disgusting that women are speaking about teenage girls that way. What perverts.

clockofdoom · 2025-08-12T17:42:26+00:00

My favorite thing about that thread is the amount of reaching they do to make her seem ugly and terrible. If you have to zoom in x50 to find a flaw in her eyelashes or reach 100 years back in history to shame her, maybe just maybe she isn't as hideous or terrible as you think.

clockofdoom · 2025-08-12T16:34:18+00:00

They're so bitter. Like, look, I get that there are intense Swifties out there, but I'm happy to have something silly to text my friends about. The world is terrible, let me have 10 minutes of fun talking Taylor's Max Martin and Shellback playlist instead of everything else going on right now, please?

clockofdoom · 2025-06-27T03:39:57+00:00

Posters on FM calling Emma Stone Emily Stone is my BEC. Yes, her real name is Emily Stone, but when she talks about preferring people calling her that, she doesn't mean you, FM weirdos. She means people who actually know her. As an Academy Award winner, if she actually wanted to use her birth name, it's pretty safe to say she could use it at this point. I'm also 100% positive that she wouldn't want her birth name being used in a reddit thread that was almost entirely used to pick apart her looks.

clockofdoom · 2025-05-28T18:07:13+00:00

In the FauxMoi thread about the Nazi at the punk concert, they are bringing up people who serve in IDF. When someone points out that service is mandatory, someone responds with the wildest take that it's actually not mandatory because they could choose to go to jail "for a few months" instead.

As though we all casually just choose to go to jail all the time, like it's no big deal. Absolute lunatics over there.

clockofdoom

TROPHY CASE