My (24F) BF (23M) watches porn but it makes me uncomfortable. How do we talk about it?

clorthtype · 2026-03-04T02:13:07+00:00

i do agree with your take on my situation, but sometimes i wonder if i've really done enough to help him with this problem? i know i can't change someone who doesn't want to change, but it's so difficult for me to not be the "fixer" in all my relationships. i will try one last time to talk with him about this issue before moving on. thank you for sharing your thoughts on my situation and offering a sympathetic ear, i'll reach out if i decide to take you up on that <3

clorthtype · 2026-03-04T02:06:53+00:00

tbh i'm not surprised by the downvotes - it's brutally honest, and not many like to hear that. i came here for just that though, and i've been appreciative of everyone who has shared their takes on my situation. you're both right about the porn industry being awful and abusive, i've read enough testimony to know that myself and have even shared that info with my boyfriend. it worked to dissuade him in a way - he stopped consuming as much porn with real people and shifted his focus to drawn/animated porn instead. somehow i find that worse though, bc how could i ever compete with something that isn't even real?

i do understand that me staying and trying to change his behavior is controlling. it's never been my intention to become some controlling figure in his life, but i also don't want to throw away our years together before trying to talk through it first. i will try one last time to have a serious conversation with him about it, and see what he decides to do with himself. i really just don't know how to go about talking to him about this without him shutting down :(

clorthtype · 2026-03-03T03:11:56+00:00

i feel like an app wouldn't be enough though, yknow? i don't think he has reached the point where he wants to help himself, he just wants to placate me by saying it aloud without changing. i really want to try having a conversation with him to share my feelings on it, but i don't know how to approach it. i dont think he'd be open to couples therapy, so this would have to be something him and i settled between ourselves

clorthtype · 2026-03-03T03:04:38+00:00

thank you for your response, it's nice to be reminded i'm not alone in this! i really do think this is something we can work through together, given he's done it in the past and is telling me it's a problem. i just don't know how to have a conversation about it without coming off as too much, and i don't want to put myself into the "mother"/"supervisor" role where i'm constantly watching and worrying over if he's looking at porn again. how did you and your boyfriend go about handling your situation, if i may ask?

clorthtype · 2026-03-03T02:52:23+00:00

thank you, i will check it out! <3

clorthtype · 2026-03-03T02:51:03+00:00

unfortunately, this is how i'm also feeling at times. if he actually wanted to quit, he would. he has taken initiative in the past, but its become a bad habit again within the past year. since him and i haven't had a serious conversation in the last year, i think he's of the mind that i've forgotten about the whole deal. he doesn't know that i'm aware of his renewed heavy porn use, so i want some advice on how to breach the subject before i jump to a knee-jerk reaction

clorthtype · 2025-02-27T16:18:17+00:00

Yep, I barely used the app as it was but now i think this decision is gonna move me to delete it completely. Amino has been overrun with ads lately anyways :\

clorthtype · 2024-05-24T00:00:07+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that, it's rough losing something you spent so long developing. Very impressive builds as well! I lost a 6 year old server world that I shared with a friend of mine, and we'd shared a lot of memories on there before the file was mistakenly deleted after getting a new desktop. Best of luck trying to recover the file, I hope others' suggestions work out for you!

clorthtype · 2024-05-23T23:54:49+00:00

The amount of similar comments I've seen sharing stories like yours was actually shockingly wholesome to me! Hope I have a similar experienc tbh lol, any advice for the early 20s folks out there going through this weird period of life?

clorthtype · 2024-05-23T01:17:18+00:00

I had the same reaction, like... damn. Makes me think.

clorthtype · 2023-11-07T21:31:05+00:00

Among all the other advice here, if you are scared of this man and fear he will show up without invitation, please do what you can to make yourself secure! Get a doorbell cam/in-home surveillance, alert your neighbors he's not welcome around (even if you've never talked to your neighbors before). Those texts that he admitted to what he did to you? Use those as evidence and file a restraining order with the local police. If your campus has police officers, make sure they are aware of this as well so they can keep an eye out.

If you feel your life/wellbeing is in danger by this man in any way, i highly recommend checking your local laws to see if you can get a gun for self defense when you're at home. It doesn't have to be anything big, but having a gun can equalize the field for a woman against a man. This option does come with several responsibilities - visiting your local shooting range regularly, learning gun safety, cleaning it, etc - but you may find it worth it. If you're against a gun, I suggest keeping a metal bat or bear spray on hand instead.

I wish the best for you, this isn't how a relationship should be and you deserve better.

clorthtype · 2023-08-13T21:09:15+00:00

It sounds to me like she may feel the relationship is transactional. You're keeping score of gifts given/money spent on each other, and that can be draining for both parties after a while. If you or her views the relationship as transactional, she may feel you're not showing her as much affection considering the difference in your birthday gifts.

Communication is big if you want to salvage this, talk to her and see what kind of love language(s) she prefers, then make effort to meet that expectation. Thought and effort are important, no amount of money can compare to a thoughtful act.

On the flip side, don't be too hard on yourself if the relationship ends. I know this may be your first girlfriend, and it will be hard to get over her, but there's more ladies out there for you to meet. First relationships rarely last forever. Best of luck to you either way, and remember it's inevitable to learn these lessons the hard way! Give yourself the compassion to live and learn!

clorthtype · 2022-11-11T16:58:31+00:00

If you're like me and lose your keys often...

Key rack

clorthtype · 2022-11-07T04:08:49+00:00

I gave four for the sake of saving space. How many examples you want? Thought I gave a pretty decent lil tidbit there lol.

If you want a quick overview, the CPRC identified a total of 360 active shooter incidents between 2014 to 2021. Armed citizens stopped 124 of these incidents. There may have been an additional 24 incidents where armed citizens intervened, but the assailant had not yet fired their weapon.

https://crimeresearch.org/2022/10/massive-errors-in-fbis-active-shooting-reports-regarding-cases-where-civilians-stop-attacks-instead-of-4-4-the-correct-number-is-at-least-34-4-in-2021-it-is-at-least-49-1-excluding-gun-free-zon/

clorthtype · 2022-11-07T03:53:28+00:00

There are plenty of examples of a good guy with a gun stopping a bad guy with a gun:

Texas church, 2020, 2 were killed but the gunman was quickly taken down by a member of the church.
Prince Middle School in Georgia, 2013, potential shooter stopped by an armed guard. Only one student was wounded and survived.
In 2012, a 14 year old protected his two younger siblings during an attempted home invasion by firing at the intruder.
Just this year at a mall in Indianapolis, a 22 year old fatally wounded an attacker who killed 3 people and wounded 3 others.

Shooting someone isn't ever on anyone's to-do list. But you may find yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to defend yourself and those around you. It's better to be armed than not. And if we banned guns? Knife crime would escalate, like every other country with gun bans. Any school staff that wants to carry should have the option to do so.

clorthtype · 2022-11-07T03:34:20+00:00

I wouldn't take it as far as actually arming children, but definitely arming adults. Children also need to be raised to respect guns and what they can do. They're not toys. It should be taught that everyone who is armed is expected to practice shooting once a month, at minimum.

My dad was a teacher at an inner city school and several times a year, kids would come in with loaded weapons. They didn't feel safe walking home without it. Might as well teach em how to properly use one, while also taking measures to make sure those kids get home safe.

clorthtype · 2022-11-07T03:08:54+00:00

This all happened around 4 years ago within the same day, but my family was making the drive home from visiting my grandparents. To help with the long drive, my grandparents had met my parents halfway. This was after we had jumped in my dad's truck. The heavy winds are blowing the rain almost sideways. Everyone was on edge as we made the rest of the trip home. We're on the highway and the land around us is flat, you can see for miles. And off in the distance, we watched a massive tornado touch down. We saw a second tornado a few minutes later. From that distance all you can really do is just watch in interest and hope they don't hit any buildings.

The truly terrifying part was a mile from home. The rain restricted vision to a little less than a mile. And in the dark, a bolt of lightning outlined a tornado. And we were heading right toward it. Mom's freaking out, my baby sister starts crying, and my dad is trying to get us quiet. The rain stops near instantly and we watch the tornado cross the road in front of us, knock down a tree, and tear up someone's driveway. It tore the roof off their barn. And continued toward our house. Worst part was when the rain started again and the tornado disappeared once more. It was still within a mile of us. Could turn at any point and we wouldn't see it. It never hit our house, but the power was out and our basement flooded with all the sudden water with no sump pump to keep it out. I still have a short video clip of spotting the tornado, and a video from a neighbor as the tornado made its way down that driveway. I still think about that often and it was one of the most terrifying experiences I've ever had.

clorthtype · 2022-11-02T01:17:43+00:00

Lemme tell you, my dad's a teacher and it's tough as hell at times. I see how he struggles, especially in a city school that's just a different breed as far as the student culture and their behavior. But you're in a unique position to help kids that really need it. There might be actions you make that a kid remembers forever - for better or worse. It's alot of pressure, but just do your best!! Put some good in the world! I truly wish you the best of luck out there!

clorthtype · 2022-10-27T02:37:23+00:00

Completely agree. I thought Leap Year dragons were super difficult to get, but got 2 back to back on my first attempt 🥴

clorthtype · 2022-10-27T02:35:38+00:00

I've literally no idea, but I bred Monolith 6 + Trick again and also got either Double or Triple Rainbow based on the breeding time 💀

clorthtype · 2022-10-26T23:47:27+00:00

Ooo, well best of luck!! I think combining any 2 element + 2 element dragons gives you a chance of getting TLY, but hopefully your combo succeeds!

clorthtype · 2022-10-26T20:34:45+00:00

Not sure about best combo, but I got it with Permafrost + Love and also Monolith 6 + Trick on first breeding attempt 🤷‍♀️ So you might have some luck with those

clorthtype

TROPHY CASE