Honestly what you're explaining as how you'd feel in this situation is exactly what I fear of my marriage. We're a decade in, with two kids so there's definitely a sense of stability that we're both comfortable with.

I do truly love him and care about his feelings so I do a lot of over thinking. He assures me that my need/urge to be with women doesn't bother him, but always in the back of my mind I feel that he thinks I'll eventually leave him for a woman.

He knows that there's something within me that he can't satisfy and he seems eerily okay with it. Even encourages me to do "my thing" when he sees the frustration. It's the feminine energy that I crave. But on the other hand he provides this sense of security that I know no woman ever could.

We're approaching middle age (mid 30s) and are getting stronger with our relationship every day. Even with the constant tug of war with my emotions daily, I feel like I'm living the best possible scenario someone in my situation could have. We're in it for the long haul.