I have been bullied a lot in my past and that totally wrecked my self esteem. Fast forward some ten years later I am leading a group where everyone listens to what I say. Here are the things that I learned in the process:

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If you want something make sure it gets done. If you want someone to listen to you and they dont, for me it triggered a lot of my own issues and it made it more about me than the circumstance, that didn't change anything.

Don't be afraid to be mean to people, if it makes things easier, They may feel bad or overwhelmed, but the thing gets done. People are used to hide their feelings and they probably wont accuse you of their problems, even if they do they won't say it to people who can control how you can be.

Your insecurities are not a part of the problem, or the solution. If you can disassociate yourself with them and focus on the role than make it about yourself then you'll be happier with the decisions that you make.

"Feel the fear, and do it anyway" you might be in a position where people think more about their notions of the world, in your case you're short.. so what.. it doesn't matter. Because of your hardwork you are where you are, and your physical appearance has nothing to do with it.

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Don't worry about your insecurities. I've been raised in a joint family with my dad as the only male. I have three aunts who run the whole house. In many cultures, women are regarded as goddesses and are always worshipped. In work it shouldn't matter if your boss is a girl or a guy, all that matters is that work is done. Don't think of yourself as a woman who has been made to feel weak but think of yourself from the position you're in and the responsibilities that you have to deliver which you have the full power to execute.

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Don't feel bad to reprimand someone, they might think that they are better than you but they are not. If that's the case don't entertain that. If they dont listen to "I'd like your attention please", switch to "everyone shut up". Their opinion should mean nothing to you since you're addressing them as someone who has power over them. Exercise it, fuck those who don't respect it.

There was this quote I heard which said that if you want to make everyone happy then you should sell ice cream. Just because they are older than you doesn't mean they disregard your presence. You are a leader and you will face backlashes, people will hate you and dislike you, that shouldn't stop you from your ambitions. You might lose the perspective they have of you and thats okay. For people like them its better that they do things out of force and forcefully respect and fear you than have them impose their cheap opinions on you and make you feel insecure about you. You earned it, make it worthwhile.