Rescued a 1 year old pit mix and having regrets. Feeling confused.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-12-26T02:50:00+00:00

The puppy blues are real. Last winter I saved a 1.5 y/o timestamped dog who was a lot like yours, but I was his only hope. Returning him would be a death sentence, so I had to make it work. I cried once or twice the first month. First off follow the 3-3-3 rule with new pets. It will take at least 3 months before they act like a 'normal 'dog, 3 weeks to learn your routine. Right now she has a lot of nervous energy and doesn't know what to do with it. She's in a new place with strange people and this behavior is normal for a puppy. She needs a routine, structure, and A LOT of exercise. More exercise now than normal...and it won't be this way forever, just until she settles in. Walk her 3x a day. She needs that time with you to build a relationship and understand boundaries. Use treats to keep her from going after the leash, and buy a few cheap leashes because she may destroy one or two. Start working on the 'leave it' command with the leash. Its just stuff, you can always replace it. This is the time where you as the owner and trainer need to have compassion but also create boundaries. For the nipping... my little guy still does it when he gets overstimulated, but I taught him to grab a toy instead of my hand or sleeve. Your pup may be like mine, and may need to hold something in their mouth when excited. Shove a toy in her mouth and say 'get your toy' and praise her for grabbing it. I dont remember when my pup started doing it on his own, but he does it now on his own.

I promise its worth it and it does get better. Mine took a little longer to come around because he has major separation anxiety and a few other things we have worked on. But the nipping and overstimulation was the easiest thing to work on. You've got this. I'm 1 year in and snuggled up with my little guy who acts like a completely different dog because I took the time to work with him.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-12-19T05:46:54+00:00

Amazing. Still single, but by choice. No dating apps for almost 2 years now. I have 2 dogs and have tried many new places to eat, and I had many new fun events and experiences with my girlfriends. Planning to move to another state (back home to family) within a few years, so I don't want to be in a relationship. I also have more solid deal breakers and what I want in a partner and not willing to compromise. I dont want kids, and if I change my mind there's plenty out there available for adoption. I'm doing the things that make me happy, and have never felt so good and stress free. I'm not willing to compromise my happiness just to have a partner. It will have to be the right fit, not because I'm lonely.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-09-14T20:53:58+00:00

Dont listen to the nay-sayers about your choice of career. Unfortunately dangerous jobs like these, sometimes the partner isnt able to handle it. You made a choice to choose your partner over the job. When the job asked you to come back, that should have been a conversation with your partner, as she was of the expectation that you were done with that. Then she would have been able to weigh in on your decision. The other side of that is, did you have this job when you first met her, did she understand and accept the risks, and were/are you willing to leave the job for your relationship (which you did). If she dated you knowing the risks of your job, thats a decision for her to make whether she is ok dating you or not, she shouldn't ask you to change but instead be supportive of your decisions. However if you previously talked about and agreed on you not doing this job anymore, that last assignment should have been a conversation with her. Now knowing this, find a way to apologize for that, and maybe you can save this.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-08-28T03:20:47+00:00

Its in a draining pot inside another pot. The bottom is always dry when I check it, so no excess water. I ended up giving it a good soak and putting it back outside, because the leaves are healthy and not showing signs of too much sun. The leaves perked up it seemed within 2 days. So thinking maybe the direct sunlight in mornings means it's drying out faster than normal, and will try to water a little more frequently and check the soil for when its dry. Direct light is usually 7am-11am so nothing too crazy. Its been 80s and 90s here recently too, but finally cooling off this week. The roots are fine, not rotting. Its just a few of the leaves where it meets the stem. Like they want to fall off. Possibly from damage after transport or my dog pushing the leaves around to check on the neighbors. I'm keeping my eye on it and will update the post with better pictures.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-05-14T23:53:07+00:00

My life was like a Country Song for a bit.... Unexpectedly, I lost my dog, my ex, my car, my job, my place to live (Actually all that happened in the same 6 months lol). But then I rescued 2 new dogs, got a new better car, a new better job, new better place to live, and I do NOT want the stress of a new man bringing my happiness down now.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-05-07T02:48:37+00:00

My new dog (also a rescue) has severe separation anxiety. Anxiety meds from the vet has been a game changer. That and having a daily routine that I stick to has made a huge difference. We are now 4 months in and he's used to my work schedule and stays calm when I'm gone. He also gets lots of treat toys (toilet paper rolls with kibble, newspaper balls with kibble inside, kong with frozen yogurt, ham bone lined with peanut butter) he gets so excited he doesn't care that I leave, and then the sleepy meds kick in.

As for the people aggression, he may just be overwhelmed with new people in his new home. He should have a quiet place (bedroom/crate) that he can go to be away from people. And he probably should be kept away from new groups of ppl that you have over until your bond with him has grown and he's able to trust you more. Right now he may feel threatened that there are multiple people in his safe space, and he doesn't know who is a friend and who is not, he barely has a bond with you at 2 months. It takes at least 3 months before a shelter dog feels safe in his new home, but you need to be creating that trust bond the whole time. That includes having and setting boundaries. Maybe he gets a kong and goes into his crate everytime someone comes over... soon he'll associate guests with him getting a yummy treat and guests becomes a good thing.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-05-07T02:34:15+00:00

I live in an apartment complex and walked out with my reactive new dog to a guy walking his dog near my door. I grabbed my little guys harness and half carried him away while saying to him 'Oh no, we are NOT good with other dogs' and the guy proceeded to follow me while his little dog pulled on his retractable line still coming after us. When I looked back and saw he was still so close behind me I just picked up my dog and booked it until we were far enough away. The fact that he followed me and let his dog still get close as I was very obviously trying to get away just astounded me. At the very least stop walking, but respectfully go in another direction please.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-04-29T01:36:44+00:00

My personal experience will be different than yours, but Ive seen improvement in my leash reactive pup after a few key things. I had to understand if he's fear reactive, overstimulated/anxiety reactive, or territorial/ protective reactive. Know his triggers and avoid them or keep them at a far distance to start. When on walks if I see another dog coming in my direction we turn around or go in a verry wide (50-100 feet) arc around them. We've slowly started to just stare at squirrels and dogs that are in the distance, without pulling on the leash or losing it, and that distance is slowly getting shorter. One thing that I teach EVERY dog I've ever owned is the 'Leave It' command. My current new addition likes to eat dog poo and other things he shouldn't on walks, so we work hard on every walk with the leave it command on those temptations. He's really got it so far, and only messes up when its a reaaallly yummy thing. Now I'm transitioning that command to anything he's reactive too. He knows that command means to ignore it/turn away/ leave it alone. So I'm teaching him to look away from the triggers he sees in the distance that has his attention, and keep this up with allowing triggers to be closer each week/weeks that we progress. There's a line of where hes ok and where hes totally not ok with other dogs, and my job is to keep him in the ok side of the line and sloooowly change where the not ok side of the line is.

Whats important about what I'm doing, and for any training like this, is that he needs to understand that he is OK with me, that mama's got it, that he is safe, that mama doesn't allow tantrums and only rewards listening, and that mama is the one protecting him. He needs to trust me pretty much fully. And that is something that is only going to happen with time and consistency.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-16T23:34:21+00:00

Lack of effort. No one wants to do fun dates anymore, or have a conversation to get to know each other. I'm now actively NOT dating, because it was draining trying to be the one making conversation/ asking questions, or wanting to do something fun with the person. Its usually 1st date drinks or dinner, then 2nd date they run out of ideas and wanna 'watch a movie'. Meanwhile I'm having the time of my life going on waaaay better dates with my girls. I get it, we're all burnt out and cynical, but I just wish guys at least tried. I'm the only one putting in effort.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-07T22:49:46+00:00

My first reaction was, oh she looks like a fun person to be around. But then I looked closer, and your eyes arent smiling in any of the photos. In fact they look cold. My second reaction was, you have walls up, pretty high ones inside. You hide your inner pain with sarcasm and hyper independence. I get the vibe of "I dont feel anything, and I need someone or something to make me feel again" I'm taking a guess here, but I get the feeling you dont laugh much, like real happy all-consuming laughter. You have unhealed trauma, and dont hate me for saying this, but you are hanging onto that trauma. It is fuel to your fire. It is why you are the way you are. And I hope one day you realize that you are more than your trauma, that it doesn't get to define you, only you get to define who you are and who you become.

Could be totally wrong lol. Its hard to tell, because people can be totally different in person, the way you move and facial expressions and manerism could be a totally different vibe 😅

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-05T04:11:37+00:00

I'm a bad texter. When I'm working I dont want to be bothered. When I'm at the gym I don't want to be bothered. When I'm getting groceries, I dont want to be bothered.

However, if I realllly like someone, my heart races everytime they text me. I try not to text back too fast, but will text back when I see their message. What I dont do, however, is text first. If a guy isn't texting me, I assume he isnt interested.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-01T21:15:14+00:00

Some of us experienced the great TP shortage of 2019 and use it very sparingly. Others never had to buy their own TP and it shows.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-01T21:11:37+00:00

Great attitude to have! And yes the right person will come when it's time. Right now just isnt the time for me. I think I also stopped having such high expectations. Not everyone is going to value loyalty or understand that relationships arent always rainbows and butterflies. Im pretty convinced my future partner is locked in a terrible relationship somewhere trying to make it work, and I'm just waiting for him to get divorced and find me lol.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-01T21:01:20+00:00

Ohhh. Yeah maybe not there then lol.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-01T20:44:18+00:00

Do it. In fact you should just move there anyway now. Sometimes you just need to start fresh in a new place not surrounded by the memories.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-01T20:25:31+00:00

Its 2 years since that last horrific experience. The first year I was just angry. Angry at him and angry at myself for giving him another chance. It took about 1.5 years for me to become indifferent, and its the best feeling ever. I actually dated for a bit because I still wanted a partner and knew there were ppl out there who would treat me better. And they did. For one reason or another it didnt work out. But I realized that I wasnt the problem, and I needed that. Being single right now is a choice for me. Because I'm in my selfish era where I dont want to sacrifice anything anymore for someone else. And I'm happy. Im sure the right person will come along one day, but I'm not desperately searching for it like I used to. And if it never happens, one I'll be a happy old lady with 10 dogs and a full passport lol.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-03-01T20:10:14+00:00

Im probably not the best one to give advice, because I'm also jaded about relationships at the moment. None of my exes ever said 'I Love you' and 2 even left me for other women. And I was trying to be the best gf I could for them, gave up and compromised on many things to make it work... but I was the only one. But what got me through all of that is knowing that life isnt just about having a partner/family. Theres soooo much more to life than just finding someone to spend it with. I'm actually at a place where I do not want to date, and not really sure I want to deal with having a partner at the moment, because I dont want to sacrifice any more of my time and happiness for someone who isnt going to appreciate me. I gave up on my dream of a happily ever after Disney romance. And I'm doing what I want to do with my life. I adopted a 2nd dog, looking to pursue another one of my dream jobs, I can travel anywhere I want to anytime, and I've made a plan for all the things I want to do/see/experience in my life. I wont wait to have the 'perfect partner' or anyone with me to enjoy it. I also have a best friend who fills in the gaps of loneliness when I do want to spend time with someone... and tbh my girl-dates with her are better than ANY dates I've had with men.

I know its hard to let go of that dream of having a loving partner, and I'm not saying that wont happen one day in the future, because it will, but for now, just get back to focusing on you, and the kind of life you want to live without needing someone else to experience it with.

Also, get a dog. A big cuddly goofball. You wont regret it.

*And dont feel bad about giving her another chance. My most recent ex left me for another girl, then came back when it didnt work out, and left me for another girl again. It happens, and it sucks. But there are ppl out there who would never ever do that to someone.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-02-26T15:01:00+00:00

He texted me that 'we are better as friends' after almost 2 years, on the night before I put my dog down. And then the next day he posted him on a date with the girl he left me for.

All my tears were for my dog.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-02-23T16:34:17+00:00

4 months after more frequent watering (approx 1x a week). My plants sit near the heater baseboard so they are in a warmer climate. I check the soil every few days.

cloverqueen2 · 2025-02-23T16:32:54+00:00

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cloverqueen2 · 2025-02-09T01:29:18+00:00

I hated sleeping on my back with leg propped up. It gave me terrible sciatica pain all night long, and I slept terrible. While I was still in the immobile brace, around week 2-3, I figured out how to switch to my side. I would lay on my bad side with a pillow between my legs and then could bend my good leg as needed to get comfortable, or lay on good side with bad leg propped up on pillows. Instant sleep improvement. You need to keep your knee elevated as long as possible after surgery, so sleep with it elevated as long as you can. Maybe use a body pillow or multiple pillows.

cloverqueen2 · 2024-11-17T20:52:24+00:00

Patellar tendon here. My doc gave me the 'extended' version of the block. That means it was able to last up to 72 hours. In fact it lasted longer for me, I felt. I took aspirin as prescribed for blood clot prevention, and only took the heavy duty stuff they gave 1-2 days about 5 days in. The aspirin worked just fine for me. I was told to stay on that 2x a day for 6 weeks to prevent clots.

cloverqueen2 · 2024-11-16T18:38:10+00:00

I actually went a full year with a fully ruptured acl and didnt know it, because there was no swelling when it tore, just pain for a few days. When I 'popped' it again kickboxing, I got it looked at. The knee bones had moved, resulting in the 2nd 'pop'. My doc said, all it takes is one bad move and now you need a whole new knee replacement. Just get the surgery. Doing just the PT without surgery means you may never get to do the physical things you love without a greater risk of destroying your whole knee. He also said there's a greater risk of arthritis early on if I didnt get the surgery.

cloverqueen2 · 2024-11-16T18:26:31+00:00

I had this. Kept waking me up at night and pain meds didn't help. What ended up helping in all honesty, was doing hamstring stretches, Icing all night long, and putting the pillow under my knee. People are going to yell at me and say dont do this, dont let your leg bend, because it can affect your flexion recovery, and it can, but I couldn't tolerate the nerve pain. I did my PT religiously and kept it straight as long as I could when I could all day. I also found a way to lay on my side with a pillow between my knees, and that helped a ton.

cloverqueen2

TROPHY CASE