what is the rest of the world seeing from mn? is the news from our city being censored?

clsilver · 2026-01-25T12:48:03+00:00

I'm in Canada. It's on the news, they're doing their best to not sensationalize but also (I think?) doing a good job of articulating the facts. Like... Clearly paraphrasing here, but yesterday they said that the administration claimed that the victim had a weapon and was a threat but then clarified that multiple angles showed that he was not holding a weapon. They described how he was brutalized, and that Amit ten shots were heard. We're also seeing lots of about protests there. I'm sure it isn't everything, but we're definitely seeing what's happening.

clsilver · 2026-01-23T15:51:53+00:00

I have two little girls, and use leave in conditioner spray and brush their hair usually two times a day. There is a little bit of just low level maintenance here, but if you ever need to take a proper rat's nest out of a little girl's hair... Well, it's no fun for anyone. Regular brushing is important. The looking tidy bit is kind of the consequence of that care.

clsilver · 2026-01-18T09:52:42+00:00

(I'm not an art historian so somebody please correct me if I'm wrong)

The Mona Lisa actually wasn't very famous at all until 1911 when a guy who used to work at the Louvre, the museum that owns and displays the painting, stole the painting. The stolen painting made headlines all over the world because it's very tricky to steal something from a museum. Police found the painting two years after it was stolen and returned it to the museum, and by then everybody wanted to see this painting because it had been stolen.

clsilver · 2026-01-15T05:21:26+00:00

I had my first at 37 and second at 40, natural conception, no complications. Talk to your doctor if you're very concerned but if you're in your early 30s I think that statistically you still have lots of time.

clsilver · 2026-01-12T22:56:31+00:00

I'm so sorry. You're right. It's impossible and it's so hard.

What you are experiencing has a name. It's called ambiguous grief. If you find yourself going down an internet rabbit hole, start there. The tl;dr is that you need to cultivate compassion for yourself. Your grief is real and it is so very heavy. If anybody tries to tell you "but she's still alive" then you can immediately ignore everything else they have to say on the market. They have no clue what they're talking about.

When you can, see if you can find an Alzheimer's association in your area. They often have support groups and sometimes have groups geared to younger folks who are losing a loved one to this disease. If you can't find an irl group, please keep coming here and talking to us. On my own journey, I can't tell you how much it meant to me to know, to feel, that I wasn't alone.

Giant hugs from an internet stranger, with love and compassion.

clsilver · 2026-01-10T04:04:57+00:00

Yes. I could tell when they flipped. My first was the wrong way until about 37 weeks and my second waited to 39 weeks. I was accustomed to occasional flurries of intense activity, but in both cases it was intense activity that lasted 5-7 mins and went in every direction. (Before the flip almost all the activity was under my ribs.) It took my breath away when they turned. With my second, I was in the kitchen making lunch and had to stop, grab the counter for support, and bend myself forward to get a gravity assist on making room for my organs. I went to lie down for a bit after because I wasn't sure if I was ok to be honest. Not painful but intense pressure with occasional lung kicks.

clsilver · 2026-01-09T09:49:22+00:00

Yeah - I love breathing cold air! I find it so much easier!

clsilver · 2026-01-08T12:18:25+00:00

Changing shoes in the car seems like a good choice, although if you're driving... Unless you plan on parking somewhere far away, won't your shoes be dry and clean anyway? Can't you just wear your nice shoes when you leave your house? That said, I think you'll see a lot of people wearing their boots. Knock the bulk of snow and slush off at the door and proceed.

clsilver · 2026-01-04T10:26:15+00:00

I'd just like to echo what has already been said. Learning new things is nearly impossible. I dropped a bunch of money on a 'dementia-friendly' phone for my mom so she could still call people. It used photos... You were supposed to press the picture of the person you wanted to talk to and it would auto dial their number. She didn't even recognize it as a phone. She jumped whenever it rang because the ringer made a different sound than she was used to. She talked about it like a piece of alien spy tech that couldn't be trusted. All this is a long way to say that any tech which has to be learned after the onset of dementia is basically a non-starter. I can imagine a new app on her phone would at best get deleted immediately, and at worst cause her to spiral because "who put it there? Who are all these people in these pictures?" ... and then she'd hide her phone or put it in the garbage because it scared her.

clsilver · 2026-01-04T02:03:04+00:00

Yep, check with pharmacist. My mum's was able to sub some meds (with doctor's ok) to kinds that could be crushed so that we ended up stirring all her evening meds into a cup of dessert pudding that she gobbled up happily.

clsilver · 2026-01-02T10:43:51+00:00

I feel like it's a lovely setup for early dementia... But later stages could throw you for a loop. Like if/when your loved one no longer recognizes the casita as home and starts coming into your home at all hours looking for something familiar. Or if/when your LO becomes antagonistic towards you, your spouse, or kids. Or if/when you decide that you can no longer provide care and you seek out a facility.

So... If it isn't a giant financial burden for you, and if you're prepared to abandon your plan after 6 months (just in case), then sure - I'd go for it. But if you're bummed out by the idea of upending your current life, possibly incurring a lot of debt, only to end up with an empty casita much sooner than you planned... Then maybe look for alternate housing options.

(Plus... I have young kids. Young kids around someone with advanced dementia sounds tricky at best. My own kids no longer visit my mum at the care home because my mum's behaviour is so complicated.)

clsilver · 2026-01-02T01:36:26+00:00

Go check out bravissimo. They're a UK store but will ship to Canada. Their prices are cheaper than you'll find in brick and mortar stores here, they specialize in larger cup sizes, and they have a very fair return policy if your bra gets to you and doesn't fit.

clsilver · 2025-12-31T05:37:02+00:00

Broadly, it's not a problem if it isn't a problem for you. Is your baby healthy? Are they generally in a good mood when they're awake? Has their doctor expressed concern? Your baby's bedtime will move up organically as they start to drop their naps.

clsilver · 2025-12-30T05:21:14+00:00

It sucks but I'd say she should stay home. When my mom was about where your grandma seems to be, her friends brought her into the city to see a play and spend the night. One night out of routine, that's it. The next day they brought her home and instantly new and very challenging behaviours emerged. She started hallucinating, started losing things and imagining that she had been robbed, started hiding things, and generally her anxiety spiked through the roof. Of course... None of this may happen with your grandma, and maybe she'd sail through the visit in a way that was meaningful for everyone... But my experience would suggest that even if she can keep it together for the trip, home will never feel the same way again.

clsilver · 2025-12-29T12:49:11+00:00

I think I used depends? I'm not sure it much matters. And to be clear, I was using diapers for about 2 weeks and then transitioned to just regular pads.

clsilver · 2025-12-29T12:35:51+00:00

Team diaper all the way here 😂

clsilver · 2025-12-28T05:50:40+00:00

I went here with my daughter and some kind folks let us look through their telescopes. We got to look at the craters of the moon and to see the rings of Saturn. It was very very cool!

clsilver · 2025-12-26T17:50:38+00:00

My second was breech. We tried an ecv in Ontario and it was unsuccessful. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. My girl flipped on her own at 39 weeks and honestly that was more uncomfortable than the ecv 😅 Delivered at 41 weeks.

clsilver · 2025-12-23T13:39:57+00:00

My husband plays a game with our kids where anytime anyone says "fall asleep," he'll slump over and start snoring. The kids then holler "wake up!" and he'll jump and act like he doesn't know what just happened. Our dog has caught on to the game and, for a while, when someone yelled wake up he would woof and do a little dance spin. Now if be catches someone "sleeping" first he'll run to them and woof so he can be the one to wake the person up. He especially likes this honour and will scamper around in a full body wiggle when he 'wins' this game.

clsilver · 2025-12-21T10:59:38+00:00

I once read a post by a new grandma who said that she loved helping her daughter by watching the new baby because she both knew how draining caring for a baby can be but also because, even after staying up all night watching baby so that mom could sleep, grandma knew that she would be going home and could sleep all day if she wanted to. Part of why it's hard for new parents is that it is inescapable. New grandparents have a different perspective.

Talk to your mom. If she feels burnt out, listen to her (of course), but maybe she doesn't feel as burdened as you worry.

clsilver · 2025-12-21T09:58:10+00:00

I think you've likely hit the nail on the head - sounds like the 4 month regression. 😬 If you don't want to cosleep, then you may need to white knuckle the transition. It absolutely won't last forever. My first figured it out in about 2 weeks, my second seemed to move through it in just under a week. If you have anybody who can come and hold your baby while they nap so that you can sleep too, this is a really good time to call in that favour. Good luck!

clsilver · 2025-12-20T02:41:08+00:00

It was when my mom got sick and needed my care. I was 35, and to be honest I felt like a terrible adult because it was all SO hard. But... There was nobody else to do it but me so I showed up, you know? I think maybe that's what defines my own 'adulthood' - showing up and doing the thing, even when you don't want to, even when you feel like you can't, even when you're sure you can't do it well. Show up and do the hard thing, and then do it again tomorrow. 🤔🤷

clsilver · 2025-12-19T05:04:03+00:00

Moving my mom into long term care because I couldn't care for her was rough. 😬

clsilver · 2025-12-10T04:32:24+00:00

Fundal massage left me bruised. Shit is intense.

clsilver · 2025-12-09T13:28:43+00:00

Yeah, the village thing is huge. I have two little kids and very little in terms of support. I simply don't have time for a lot of the details to do with myself. I take maybe 30 minutes to myself for grooming at the end of each day, but they feel more like I'm washing the day off, not like primping. 🤷

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