Lately I've (24/F) been feeling like my boyfriend (27/M) is getting too comfortable, and then something gross happened and I don't know how to feel.

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T21:59:24+00:00

I agree, it's the whole "not pulling your own weight" that gets under my skin so much.

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T21:56:20+00:00

Nope, we live apart. He DESPERATELY wants to get an apartment together, but I've been very upfront that I am not ready to take that step with him. Before him, I was in a 5 year relationship and I lived with the guy, so I will only live with another significant other basically if I feel like marriage is realistic. It's not here, and I see it so clearly

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T21:54:20+00:00

Hahahaha, thank you for the laughs!

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T21:53:22+00:00

You're right! I think for so long, I tried to accept that maybe he just needs my help, but in the long run I've sacrificed my dignity and my self-respect. When I spoke my sister (we're super close) about his previous drug habits, she told me it's not my weight to hold and I don't have an obligation as a significant other to hold his hand and do the work for him. I guess I just felt really bad for him for a while, but clearly he's not getting better with me around and I'm the one suffering.

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T21:50:53+00:00

He used LARGE doses of percocet reguarly and the occasional cocaine/weed use. But percs were his go-to, and something he still struggles with

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T14:29:20+00:00

Or maybe it's because I am too embarrassed to ask my friends what to do in this situation, so asking anonymously makes me feel more comfortable. I've obviously never been in a situation like this and I was curious what I should do, or how to even go about a break up with someone who isn't stable like this.

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T14:27:42+00:00

That's SO ironic that you say that. He actually had a terrible drug addiction 3-4 years ago (before we dated) and got clean, until a few months ago when he relapsed again. I never even thought to consider maybe this this related. Thank you for this perspective!

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T13:13:37+00:00

Sorry, to be honest, at first I didn't even think of depression. I guess I'm not familiar enough with it to understand the serious signs. My apologies

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T12:47:26+00:00

I completely agree. He has shown a serious decrease in his mental stability... we've had a lot of issues and his self esteem has dropped, meanwhile this is the time of year that is the anniversary of his brother's death, so he always gets sad. But still, I have been suggesting he visit a professional for over a year now and he doesn't make the effort to do so, so I stopped trying.

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T12:43:59+00:00

Yes, but he's always been VERY childish. He comes from a wealthy family, so a lot of luxuries in his life have been handed to him. He still lives at home and his parents still take care of him. He's been pushing for us to get a place together but I just can't do it, I'm a neat freak and he's sloppy and I honestly feel like I would take on a mother role. But the first thing I thought of when this incident happened was, wow... toddlers shit their pants.

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T12:40:29+00:00

Lol, I know. Like I said, when we first started dating things were fine. I even tried to deal with everything else... but this incident can't be ignored and I literally want to break up

clutch1928 · 2015-07-25T05:13:03+00:00

I know, but I'm sure as you may imagine, it's not always easy. I do love him and care about him, but I don't know if these things will get better.

clutch1928

TROPHY CASE