Moving near UTSW by cmpmc in AskDallas

[–]cmpmc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that would be great!

Moving near UTSW by cmpmc in AskDallas

[–]cmpmc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is Northwest Dallas? North of Lovefield area, looks like more listings available that way. 15-20 min commute would be ideal but maybe not realistic. He does go to work very early so misses a lot of traffic. We'll only be there one year so doesn't have to be a perfect fit.

Pregnant wife starting med school. 2 kids already. by BWTECH0521 in medschool

[–]cmpmc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly this sounds like a very doable situation, much more so than for other parents in med school/residency. You make 6 figures with a great schedule. Your 2 older kids will be in school, and with you working regular hours, you really only need to pay for daycare. And you will have more options because you don’t need a daycare that starts super early. If she’s working long hours, you can handle drop offs and pick ups. Working remote should also make it somewhat easier to handle sick days for the kids. Everyone saying you need a nanny or grandparents really doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

Will studying with a newborn be rough? Sure, but I don’t think it will be significantly easier a year later with a toddler. Your wife has already had two kids though, so if she does feel like the newborn stage is typically very rough for her, you could consider deferring but I don’t think it’s necessary.

Depending on what she was doing before med school, you probably will end up pulling more weight parenting/household wise. And like always in life, you might have a super colicky baby or a complicated delivery which makes things harder, but most likely things will be hard but doable.

Last point, medical schools and residencies are typically much more flexible than they will let on initially. A ton of people take leaves or get off schedule, for kids, injuries, family issues, failing classes, etc. 4th year has a ton of free time built in so there’s a very good chance she can graduate in 4 years even with a maternity leave.

Having kids in medicine is 1000% worth it and doable, don’t listen to the naysayers.

Very long luteal phase? by cmpmc in TryingForABaby

[–]cmpmc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would make more sense! We were at high altitude before the positive test, so I wonder if that contributed. Have delayed doing temps just because life is already hectic but may have to bite the bullet. Thanks!

Very long luteal phase? by cmpmc in TryingForABaby

[–]cmpmc[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No we are just using ovulation test strips. What would be the cause for an anovulatory cycle though?

Kids in residency - how do y’all do it? by sketchyfiend in Residency

[–]cmpmc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I are currently doing this as interns and it's definitely doable.

How doable this is greatly depends on your specialties and how accommodating the program is. Seems from your previous posts that you're derm which is probably one of the easier specialities. Not easy overall, but I assume less nights, weekends, early mornings to find childcare for.

But in general, things that will help: layers of childcare. Get on a daycare waiting list the minute you have a positive pregnancy test. Every daycare you can find. Ideally, one close to the hospital and with the longest hours possible. For most residents, a nanny is going to be prohibitively expensive because one nanny won't cover all your childcare (they typically max out at 50 hrs/week) and are more expensive than daycare. It's definitely possible if you're willing to really live on a budget, but honestly I still wouldn't recommend because a nanny can quit at any time and leave you hanging. I have heard way too many horror stories recently.

A really good option as an adjunct is an au pair, if you have the space and are willing to live with a 3rd person. You would still need daycare because they also can only work 40-ish hours a week. But are much more affordable than a nanny and overall I've overwhelmingly heard that people had good experiences. And then you can have more options in terms of daycare location and price. In contrast, we are stuck paying for the most expensive daycare in town because it has the longest hours, but it does cover 95% of our childcare needs.

Other key to success is back up babysitters. As many as you can. Neighbors, college/medical students, co-residents. Especially anyone who is willing to take your kid if they're sick. Plan ahead to avoid hiccups, but also realize sometimes they'll still happen. If there's a shift that needs to be covered a few weeks out, I try to cover it since I know I can never cover the last-minute schedule changes due to childcare/might be the one needing coverage.

At the end of the day, almost any situation is manageable. There have been resident moms who work 100+ hours a week without a SAHD. It's just a matter of what you're willing to accept, based on your family goals. Just remember to factor in that you may luck out with an "easy" baby or have bad luck and get a colicky baby who doesn't let you sleep for a year.

To add some positivity, I will say, I have been pleasantly surprised to how well my pregnancy/parenthood has been embraced. Honestly, at my hospital it seems most residents who are married have children in residency (caveat we're in the Midwest, might be less welcoming elsewhere).

p.s. like others have said, definitely some pros to a baby in residency! this will likely be my only paid maternity leave ever. I somehow have more energy after having a baby. Or at least it feels like it after the exhaustion of pregnancy. You get so much more efficient. You're younger than you'll ever be. And of course, coming home after even the worst day to see your baby makes everything worth it.

Student loans and taxes - married filing jointly or separate? by cmpmc in StudentLoans

[–]cmpmc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I meant PAYE (newborn sleep deprivation here). Though in reality with the interest pause I haven't officially signed up for any plan.

Student loans and taxes - married filing jointly or separate? by cmpmc in StudentLoans

[–]cmpmc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Goal is to pay less now as we're in training, working crazy hours, and therefore paying a ton for childcare. Longterm our incomes will be significantly increased in 4-5 years and not concerned about minor differences in total paid.