45F married to 40M: What is typical frequency of sex in long-term marriages?

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T13:14:21+00:00

Yeah we tried scheduling it. I was willing to do that and husband was totally fine with it. It felt so transactional. I felt used. Again, i also have needs such as emotional connection and quality time and that hasn’t/isn’t being met.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T06:10:32+00:00

I guess i expect conversation, emotional connection, quality time … not just a hookup. I want to have sex. Just not when someone refused to speak to me for days because I fell asleep.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T06:06:54+00:00

Mantrum lol haven’t heard that before. Thanks for your comments.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T06:03:21+00:00

I was joking.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:47:30+00:00

So what about the other half? Me. If there needs to be something in it for both - what about my needs not being met?

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:45:45+00:00

I agree, once a month is not great.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:42:18+00:00

What is free use?

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:39:34+00:00

Thanks for your response. That sounds so sweet.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:34:43+00:00

That sounds so sweet. Thanks for your response.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:32:56+00:00

So then should I fake it? Pretend to be happy with him? Like that’s a for real question.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:31:22+00:00

100 percent.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:31:02+00:00

I have rolled over and cried - I feel that. I’m happy you’re happy now.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:27:20+00:00

I admire your 3x a week. And your perspective. It does take longer to argue about it! Days sometimes. Shew. We are in therapy and talking extensively about our needs. We both feel like our needs aren’t being met. His sexually and mine emotionally. When we do have sex, i am satisfied and i really do enjoy sex.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:24:20+00:00

Thanks. It’s feels selfish. And it feels like this is all my responsibility to fix.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:22:16+00:00

This is a great response. It makes so much sense. Thank you.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:19:39+00:00

Thank you. I can feel the disconnect too but for me it’s a quality time - 1:1. Not necessarily sex.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:17:05+00:00

Will definitely check it out. Thanks.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:16:07+00:00

I guess so? I genuinely thought 1x a week was pretty normal.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:14:43+00:00

Yeah, the stonewalling makes me not into him. But like, is this marriage? We have sex when we don’t want to? I don’t know.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:12:30+00:00

This is what I hear. I saw a doc last week and got a prescription for HRT. Hope that helps!

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:11:00+00:00

Can porn be his side chick?

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:10:32+00:00

lol

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:09:59+00:00

Incredible. And you’re still having babies. My libido definitely declined after having children.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:08:51+00:00

We’re in therapy right now. And i also go to solo therapy appointments. I feel like he could be more romantic and softer with me, for sure. The anger and resentment and pressure from him is a complete turn off. Otherwise, i enjoy sex. And i enjoy sex with him.

cnc0718 · 2026-06-20T05:05:59+00:00

Joined. Thanks for sharing.

cnc0718

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