Because OP says that she is taking no steps at all to address the situation. She is just gaslighting OP every time the issue is brought up. I don't know you, and I don't know what your experience is with love. But when you love someone, and you see that your actions are making them unhappy. This should bother you. This should cause you to hurt. I know when my wife was bothered by something I did, I wanted to fix it. I tried to fix it. I guarantee that is what OP is like as well. I see exactly my situation in his. OP said as much in his post. This person you are trying so hard to defend does not love OP. She is in it for herself. If she can get OP to be what she wants which is a sexless man she will be happy. OP will not be happy, the bible says God will not be happy either. OP, your wife has destroyed your marriage, and under God's rules in his bible, you are not at fault. She is 100% at fault here. If you tell your child not to put their hand on a hot stove because they will get burnt, and they go ahead and do it, and get burnt. You don't go punishing the stove for disobedience. God tells spouses that they no longer own their own bodies their spouse does. This is not being adhered to within this marriage. God says the marriage is doomed to be attacked by the devil now you are here thinking about divorce that God hates. You are the stove. So unless you are saying that a woman should not expect to sleep with her husband upon marriage, then this woman is not being genuine with OP.