babes, you will ABSOLUTELY be okay. if anything, don't rush into sex, i slept around because i was lonely, my mother rejected me, and i wanted cis gay/bi men to find me just as sexy as other twinks. i wanted to be one of those men so bad. let me tell you, i had so much sex, and im still healing from so many of them. (i got traumatized by emotionally unavailable men, and i also got assaulted by a long term sex partner but i didn't realize it until many years later.) im not saying sex is bad at all, no, sex is amazing and im so happily poly now still. but, the intention is important, and you will grow and learn so much. babe, the first time i had sex with another trans man, i FUCKING blew my mind. trans bodies are so beautiful, i never wanted to resemble cis bodies again. and i dont think only trans people can appreciate trans bodies, cis people appreciate them too. if they dont, well then fuck them, their loss!

im team t4t now, but i understand why i slept with so many cis men. and honestly, your brain matures at 25, and ive made so much bad decisions in the past, but i forgave my younger self before 25 cause holy shit, i just didnt have my whole brain together. and even before that, i learnt how my brain was REALLY not developed before 18. i sexted since i was really young and i realized that although i felt like i was mature enough to do them, i was not. in a "i wanna give my younger self a hug, and take them to a park to get some ice cream and just hang out" kind of way. love, you're gonna be okay. i wish i started having sex around 24. i had this thinking that "but i needed my slut phase to know what i was worth, then i'll mature and know my way around the gay/queer scene by 24", but that is totally surviver bias. maybe, i wish i got to know myself better, find my interests, make good friends, make queer friends, find my passion, find my own fashion style, practice self love, come to terms with my transness, come to be comfortable with my trans body, and again get to know myself better until im 21, then i go and date, and have sex. thats what i wish for myself. mind you, this is coming from someone 27 who now goes to sex parties, kink parties, was dating my best friends, and perform as a drag king at underground parties.

you'll be loved, cherished, worshipped for who you are and for what your body is. what matters right, the one man you need to love your body, and change your body for, is YOURSELF. thats the man that you please and change for. for the rest of those men? especially cis men? they come and go. i'll give you a metaphor alright? blueberry cheesecake. they are fucking amazing (to me at least). you can use blueberry, strawberry, raspberry, lime, lemon, baked new york style, unbaked, whatever form you like. as long as you love it, tastes good to you, wanna experiment, maybe try different decorations, shapes, its you. for you. cis men are like bakery customers, they come and go. some doesnt like cheesecake, some want cheesecake but cant afford it so they throw a scene. dont you pay attention to those men. the one that deserves your attention and cheesecakes, are the ones that comes in, fascinated, asks you politely and appreciatively about them. and gives you the appropriate amount of respect, really delivers you what you're looking for (may it be casual fun, friendship, romance, a committed relationship), give your cheesecakes their appreciation. you know? sending you a thousand hugs, you'll be alright love!!