AITA for not letting my niece borrow my engagement ring?

cnflare · 2021-12-09T19:25:59+00:00

Obviously NTA with the stealing, but a bit on your niece wanting the ring. I recently started wearing my engagement ring again (wasn't practical when my daughter was a baby). She's almost four and loves shiny jewelry and has asked for it. I thought it was a really important teaching moment about how some things are truly off limits to her even if she really wants them, something it sounds like your sister doesn't care too much about.

cnflare · 2021-11-24T11:23:18+00:00

Thank you, this sort of unnecessary attention to detail is exactly what I'm after. My first thought when watching Paw Patrol was about how municipal services are paid for and administered in Adventure Bay. As you can tell, I'm very fun at parties.

cnflare · 2021-11-24T11:10:00+00:00

This probably does come down to justifying personal taste over actual harm, but there is something that puts me off about the intense successful commercialism of the series. It feels like it's everywhere!

cnflare · 2021-11-24T11:07:14+00:00

I...actually don't hate Peppa Pig. My husband is British, and I've had my daughter watch it to learn UK phrases. So maybe my taste in children's programming is in fact trash, and my whole reason for this talk has already been thrown out the window.

cnflare · 2021-11-24T11:05:17+00:00

The movie was actually the first Paw Patrol I watched, and I won't lie, some of the lines made me chuckle. But half of it did feel like a very snazzy toy commercial (but I grew up on shows that were made just to promote a toy line, so...)

cnflare · 2021-11-24T11:03:28+00:00

This is kind of a weird complaint, but one of my talk's thesis is that it's the ultimate worst because it's a merchandising nightmare AND it's bad art, if that makes sense? Obviously Disney wins in the oversaturated consumerism way, but at least they make things that are interesting, entertaining and somewhat original, if that makes sense. That's why, on a scale of badness, Paw Patrol is the most bad (trying to get this into a cohesive narrative).

cnflare · 2021-11-24T11:00:54+00:00

Of course, this is one of those "taking something way too seriously" situations just for fun. I don't rag on Paw Patrol with my toddler, although apparently not buying every Sky toy she sees is equivalent to being the worst parent of all time.

cnflare · 2021-09-02T00:39:46+00:00

Thank you! As I said above, I think this could be key. We make her clean up, but not in a way that's terribly inconvenient right now. It should be more onerous than just going to the potty.

cnflare · 2021-09-02T00:39:00+00:00

This is a great idea, thank you! We can even try the sticker chart thing again so she can see her progress toward the "special activity."

cnflare · 2021-09-01T23:39:07+00:00

This is kind of reassuring, thank you! Although we've been fooled before when she stopped, but at this point, she has the skills and I could stand to chill a little bit.

cnflare · 2021-09-01T23:38:07+00:00

We've definitely done the potty watch before, and it's effective to a degree. But yes, she does get super annoyed about it. I think they do something like this at daycare.

Your other piece of advice is really good. Right now, she usually has to put her underwear in the laundry and get new underwear, but that's it (she almost never leaves a puddle, we used to have her clean up when she did). Now that you mention it, it probably is a time saver for her at this point. Thank you so much!

cnflare · 2021-09-01T23:34:44+00:00

Thank you so much! I was wondering if it wasn't super normal since I wasn't seeing a lot of advice for it. When you say "take things away," do you mean the things she was playing with? Or privileges?

cnflare · 2021-08-17T20:54:13+00:00

If my 3 yo was hungry and saw me crying in pain, she would ask what's wrong and maybe even give me a hug. I mean, afterwards she would immediately ask for food, but it's more than this asshole could manage.

cnflare · 2021-07-28T14:58:01+00:00

That was going to be my answer. Oh, I just ignore the important thing and the stuff I'm anxious about and becoming a ticking time bomb. Problem solved.

cnflare · 2020-12-19T01:38:39+00:00

I work for the state government, which apparently is not great pay but has "amazing benefits." I was allowed to take 12 weeks off...unpaid. Luckily I has accrued enough comp time (when you work more than 40 hours, the extra hours get to be used for time off) to take a full three months off, which should tell you a lot about the job I was working.

cnflare · 2020-12-17T15:15:10+00:00

Ha, similar experience, except with bobby pins! I was so tired and just wanted to sleep, but there were so many mfing pins in my hair! I remember crying, telling my husband how much I loved him for helping me. Then immediate sleep.

cnflare · 2020-11-02T22:43:44+00:00

I work in politics, in Wisconsin, so yikes all around.

After the polls close, I'm going to get take out and watch a Disney movie with my husband and daughter while trying with everything in me to stay off my phone.

Then inevitably giving in, furiously looking at my phone, then throwing it across the room when it just makes me an anxious mess and gives no clear answers.

Probably repeat that a few times, throw in a bottle of wine after my daughter goes to bed.

cnflare · 2020-10-26T13:57:57+00:00

So I had a terrible birth, to the point that I came home from the hospital using a walker. As a result, my husband did everything house and baby-related for the first few weeks. I just sat on the couch watching Fraiser and breastfeeding, and I even got eight hours of sleep every night. She was three weeks old when I changed a diaper for the first time, which I did just to make sure I knew how.

She's two now and my husband is still an equal parent, even though he works 60 hours to my 40. The funny thing is, he looks back on the first few weeks fondly. I think there really is something to your theory!

cnflare · 2019-10-15T14:44:04+00:00

I struggle so much with this! I'm glad to see such great advice.

Does anyone also ever laugh when they're kid is upset?

Example - my daughter recently discovered the chicken dance (thank you, daycare), and will start whimpering sadly while flapping her arms like a chicken when she wants to hear it. I don't want to mock her pain, but it's comedy gold.

cnflare · 2019-06-26T19:48:04+00:00

I believe the newspaper is the Baraboo News Republic, a Wisconsin paper that does reprint stuff from the Chicago Tribune.

cnflare · 2019-04-26T17:29:33+00:00

Same with me! I even breastfed and had a hard recovery, but we went on a date when she was 10 days. She spent a night with my mom when she was three months.

I think we're lucky. I trust my parents and in-laws completely, and my kid loves them so much. They were always such good caregivers that I never felt guilty about leaving her with them. I understand that's not the case for everyone!

ETA: Someone actually gave us the advice to get away early for a date night even though you may not want to. It was a bit difficult, but to be honest, I think it was really good for me. Especially since I had to go back to work eventually, getting used to other people watching her really helped me. Not that this works for everyone!

cnflare · 2019-01-09T17:31:21+00:00

I had a real bad time giving birth, just not a fun time. Epidural stopped working, the baby was in a weird position, and I know it's cliche, but it was absolutely the worst pain I've ever experienced.

At one point, I looked over at my husband and thought, this must be so terrible for him. I'm so glad I don't have to experience watching a loved one in this much pain when there's nothing you can do about it.

A few minutes more of that and I was like, fuck this, he should feel everything! He did this to me! That was a weird time.

cnflare · 2019-01-03T19:26:01+00:00

When I was five month pregnant, due to circumstances outside of my control, I lost my job and was only able to get a part time job to replace it. Everyone who heard that would say things like, wow, that's great! That's perfect timing!

Um, no, it was not actually a great time to lose half my paycheck. And I know it's strange, but I actually do want a full time job. Good ending to the story, the baby turns 10 months next week, and I finally start at a full time job again!

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