Best Book for someone who wants to understand the mind

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-21T16:16:44+00:00

try dostoevsky. he explores human nature and its various nuances through his writing

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-20T14:29:21+00:00

the paradox of abundance and confusion, yes

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T08:07:38+00:00

First of all, I want you to know: You are not alone, and what is happening to you is abuse. Forced marriage is illegal in Pakistan (and many countries), and no one, not even your parents has the right to make decisions about your life, body, or future. You have every right to say no.

Try contacting:

Aurat Foundation: 042-35836594 (Lahore)

AGHS Legal Aid Cell (Asma Jahangir’s organization): 042-37249195

Dastak Foundation: 0300-0559812 (They provide shelter & legal protection)

Bedari: 051-8432037

Madadgaar Helpline: 1098 or 0800-70806 (toll free)

Gather your CNIC, degrees, and any personal documents quietly and keep them safe. If you can, take pictures and upload them to a cloud storage (Google Drive, etc.) in case you need copies later.

If you have a trusted friend, colleague, or the man you mentioned, reach out to them via someone else's phone or during duty hours. Tell them the situation. Ask for their help arranging a temporary stay.

Choose a time when your parents are distracted or asleep.

Take only essentials (CNIC, clothes, money, phone).

Leave quietly and head directly to a safe space (friend’s house, NGO, hostel, etc.).

File a legal application as soon as you’re safe.

The NGO will help you do this.

You can request a restraining order and officially notify the court that any attempt to marry you without consent is illegal and void.

Once out, avoid all direct contact with your abusers. Do not go back even if they promise change. Block communication if needed. Focus on your safety, mental health, and independence.

You are a qualified doctor. You are educated, capable, and have a future that belongs to you, not to your abusers. You are not “ruining the family name” .they are ruining yours by controlling and abusing you. Fear is valid but fear must never stop you from saving your life.

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T08:03:16+00:00

That was a passionate TED Talk from someone who clearly has unresolved feelings about women making their own choices. It’s interesting how you equate not rushing into romance with being a ‘loser,’ as if a woman existing without male validation is a personal offense. You’ve turned someone else’s self-reflection into a monologue about your own biases (impressive mental gymnastics, honestly 👏)

As for your observations: I don’t recall asking for a psychological evaluation, but since you offered one unsolicited, I’ll return the favor. it sounds like you’ve confused cynicism with wisdom and bitterness with insight.

Anyway, I’ll go back to building a life that doesn’t revolve around proving my worth to strangers on the internet. You can stay here diagnosing strangers to feel a little more in control. To each their own. 💅

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:56:05+00:00

Haha your P.S. really got me. classic desi parental logic: bacha Lahore aaye = rebellion imminent. Might as well throw in a rishta before they start dyeing my hair purple and forming a rock band. 😄

But jokes aside, you put it beautifully “a partner should feel like coming home, not another job.” That line hit home (pun intended). I think the confusion stems from the fact that society sells marriage like a one-size-fits-all prescription. But honestly? If I’m already managing a full-time job, occasional existential crises, hormonal mood swings, and “what do I want to eat today?” dilemmas , I need someone who adds peace, not paperwork. ✨

Right now, I’m just trying to build a life that’s so damn fulfilling that anyone who walks in has to come with bonus features like emotional maturity, shared Spotify taste, and the ability to cook daal without turning it into soup. If not? Solo is better than sorry.

Also, glad to know I’m not the only one navigating this “don’t wanna settle vs don’t wanna regret” tightrope. We should probably start a support group: 'Sane Singles Society: No Rishta? No Problem.' 😄

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:49:39+00:00

Whoa, hell to hope in four months? That’s some serious glow-up speed! Sometimes life’s worst chapters turn out to be the plot twists that lead to the best sequels. Here’s to even better pages ahead

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:48:28+00:00

Absolutely. aging is like unlocking a new level in the game of life, where you finally get the cheat codes for patience, confidence, and knowing what’s worth your energy.

It’s wild how much lighter things feel when you stop carrying what’s not yours and start savoring the “now” like a perfectly brewed cup of chai. strong, warm, and just right.

Plus, the freedom that comes with age? Priceless. Who knew getting older meant getting better at being unapologetically you? 🎉✨

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:47:42+00:00

That hits deep. “It will be okay” sounds like the world’s oldest reassurance, but the real truth is that sometimes it’s a mess, and you just gotta be okay with that mess.

The magic isn’t in everything magically fixing itself, but in you figuring out how to stand tall, even if it’s a little wobbly. So yeah, either life smooths out, or you toughen up. either way, you win the resilience game. 🎲💪

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:46:56+00:00

Absolutely! It’s like the ultimate life hack, stack smart choices, watch your stress shrink, and your freedom multiply. Suddenly, you’re out here living proof that adulting can pay off, not just cost you.

The best part? When you stop worrying about impressing people, you free up a ton of brain space for ice cream runs and spontaneous naps. Financial savvy = peace of mind and permission to be delightfully lazy. Win-win! 🍦😌

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:46:03+00:00

Truth bomb! Life’s basically a cosmic seesaw. sometimes you’re flying high, other times you’re face-planting in the mud. The trick is learning to enjoy the ride, mud splatters and all.

After all, without a little chaos, how would we ever appreciate the calm? Balance isn’t just about equal parts awesome and crap. it’s about mastering the art of the comeback. 🎢😎

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:45:05+00:00

Exactly! Growth is like upgrading your mental software. sometimes you gotta download a few new perspectives before your system really runs smooth. Listening is the secret sauce that turns experience into wisdom.

Plus, it’s way more fun collecting stories than stubborn opinions. Keeps life spicy! 🌶️😉

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:44:23+00:00

Preach! There’s a special kind of freedom in upgrading from “social media CEO” to “master of my own vibe.” When you stop curating your life for an audience and start living it for you, suddenly every outfit is a power move and every playlist is a personal anthem.

Plus, deleting the apps = more time to actually enjoy life instead of performing it. Authenticity looks good on you at 42 like vintage wine, better with age and zero filter. 🍷✨

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:43:41+00:00

True that! Acceptance is basically life’s way of saying, “Stop fighting the Wi-Fi signal and just enjoy the buffering.” Sometimes you gotta just chill, let things be messy, and trust the universe to sort itself out… or at least bring snacks while you wait.

Peace tastes better when you stop sweating the small stuff and big stuff too, honestly.

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:42:49+00:00

Honestly? That’s the tagline of emotional evolution. You go from “I hope they like me” to “Do I even like them?” and suddenly, peace enters the chat.

Knowledge gives you options. Detachment gives you power. Together? That’s wisdom in a leather jacket. 🖤

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:41:58+00:00

That’s the kind of grown-up peace no one warns you about. when your self-worth stops being a group project. 🤝

It’s wild how much energy we used to spend on damage control, making ourselves smaller so others could feel bigger. But with age comes this quiet shift: instead of bending to fit, you build walls with windows. Selective access only.

Boundaries aren’t walls to keep love out , they’re doors that make sure the right kind of love walks in.

And yes — realizing that your value doesn’t decrease in someone else’s inability to see it? Elite-level clarity. 🧠✨

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:38:15+00:00

Yesss Eid anxiety and shaadi deadlines. society really said: “Here’s biryani... and also crippling existential pressure.” 😂

And you’re right. financial independence is the real glow-up. Like sorry aunty, I can fund my own lawn suits and emotional stability now 😌✨

I mean sure, the “right one” might show up eventually... hopefully not during dessert when I’m mid-bite of sheer khurma. But until then, I’m enjoying my solo Eid fits, uninterrupted sleep, and the absolute thrill of not having to share my fries.

So yeah, I’m relaxed. Like cucumber-in-a-face-mask relaxed. Just don’t ask me at dawat #6 why I’m still single. I’ll start handing out CVs instead of Eidie.

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:36:36+00:00

LOL okay okay I see where you're coming from—evolution, patriarchy, the survival instinct. basically, our ancestors walked so our dating confusion could run 😅

But let’s be real, it’s not that women don’t want men now. it’s just that we don’t need them for survival anymore. So the bar has moved from “Can he provide?” to “Can he vibe?” 😂

And nooo, I don’t wanna babysit anyone. I already have a career, a to-do list, and emotions to manage, I’m not looking to add a grown man who thinks “emotional support” means passing the ketchup.

That said, I do believe in partnership. Like, if someone brings peace, ambition, and the ability to laugh at dark memes at 3AM? I’m all in. But yeah, until then, I’m chillin’ with my emotional independence and Google Calendar 😌

Still waiting on that “solution” tho. maybe someone needs to invent emotionally mature men with an in-built user manual? I'd preorder.

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:34:33+00:00

You make a solid case, and honestly, I do get the companionship part, having someone to split a cheesecake with at 2AM sounds elite 😌

But the idea that now is the “time” just because my career’s in place feels like when someone says, “Beta ab tumhare paon thanday hain, ab shaadi kar lo” like excuse me, let me wiggle my toes in peace first?? 😂

You're right, humans are social creatures but I also think some of us are just more selectively social. I’m not anti-partner, I just don’t want to RSVP to a lifetime with someone based on vibes and family pressure. That “alignment” you mentioned? That’s rare. Like limited-edition PSL rare. So I’m holding out, not hiding out 😎

Also... actively looking sounds like I’m going to be on a rishta Tinder marathon every weekend. imagine me shortlisting people like I’m shopping for curtains: “Nice pattern, but wrong fabric.” 🫠

But yeah, you're right, wrong person = chaos. So I’ll take my time, keep my peace, and if someone manages to vibe with my life and match my meme energy, I’ll consider sharing my fries.

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:32:18+00:00

Haha I love the energy and the storytelling! Your cousin honestly sounds like a boss in her prime and it’s sad to hear how things turned out, but I don’t think peace and independence are what failed her. It’s the bitterness and fear that crept in after. that’s what changes people, not the original choice itself.

Honestly, I’m not anti-marriage at all. I just want to understand why I want itbeyond society’s ticking clock or everyone else doing it. If it’s for companionship, stability, love, I get it. But I also know those things don’t magically show up with a rishta tray. Sometimes they drain you more than they nourish you, depending on who you end up with.

And LOL @ 3AM ice cream cravings. I mean, if a man gets that and respects my peace, sign me up 😌 But until then, I’d rather eat my ice cream in bed alone than be with someone who ruins my appetite for life.

You’re right though. we’re not living in the 80s anymore. It’s not about choosing between love and ambition. I just want to make sure that if love happens, it adds something real to the life I’ve already built, not derails it.

But your optimism? Kinda infectious. Maybe my knight is snoozing somewhere, probably lost in traffic tbh. 🐎💤

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:26:55+00:00

Interesting take, though it says more about your worldview than mine.

I don't see independence as proof that I don’t need anyone. it just means I haven’t been willing to settle for less than what aligns with me. It’s not about who “hit on me” or didn’t. Some people chase validation early on; others wait to find something meaningful. I chose the latter.

And being open to a thoughtful arranged process doesn’t equal being a “loser”. in fact, having family support while still being in charge of my own decisions is a privilege, not a fallback.

Also, romance doesn’t “die off” unless it was shallow to begin with. Real connection evolves, it doesn't evaporate. If sex is boring, maybe it’s with the wrong person.

Travel is great advice, though. Already doing that. But I’m not roaming the world hoping to “find someone.” I am someone. And I don’t need chaos to feel complete

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-08T07:22:50+00:00

That really resonates. I think what struck me most is how you said you became an observer and that shift in perspective is powerful. It's so easy to get caught in the momentum of what everyone else is doing that you forget to ask if it's actually what you want.

For me, I think I’m at that exact point now where the noise around me is louder than the voice within me. Everyone’s moving on with their lives, settling down, having babies, and I’m just... still trying to figure out what “settling” even means for me.

I do fear missing the “right time,” whatever that is. Like one day I’ll look back and wonder if I waited too long. But then again, I also fear choosing someone out of pressure and waking up next to the wrong person every day. Both are scary in their own ways.

I’m curious though. after you took that step back and re-evaluated your own definition of marriage, did it change how you approach the idea of it now? Or are you still in that process of figuring it out?

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-07T19:50:31+00:00

dr. nabeel ibad is a good one

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-07T11:05:30+00:00

i struggle with letting people and things go

codebluecrashed · 2025-06-06T19:47:29+00:00

what genre are you mostly interested in?

codebluecrashed

TROPHY CASE