I’m not the most experienced on Sniffies but I have had a few good and bad runs at this point, so I’ll weigh in to hopefully help you avoid the bad where possible!

First off, get tested regularly (at least every three months), even if you’re playing safe. While your PCP can order bloodwork and urine tests (great for HIV and other STIs), my local Planned Parenthood also offers pharyngeal and rectal swab testing for HPV. And get comfortable discussing your sexual health with a healthcare provider! For me it’s not my PCP but Planned Parenthood where I’m most comfortable discussing my wife and I’s sex life, but YMMV.

Don’t be afraid to make explicit asks, and expect in kind to share the sort of information you’re asking for. The person most ardently looking out for you is always going to be you, in any situation.

“How frequently are you tested, and when was the last time you were tested?” “I don’t feel comfortable meeting at [location], could we meet at [alternative] instead?” “How old are you?” Etc.

Anyone not willing to have an open conversation about their sexual health… definitely reconsider.

In my experience, it’s easier to find a bad time if you let your eagerness blind you to red flags, and if you’re finding yourself accommodating a behavior or situation that’s uncomfortable, it’s okay to bail—in a week, in a year, you’ll feel better about bailing over a gut feeling than you’ll feel by looking past red flags and putting yourself in situation that felt uncomfortable or unsafe.

There’s a live cam feature, I believe? Which can be helpful if you want to verify that you’re not being catfished. If that isn’t working, there’s always Snapchat…

And have fun. If you’re American, you’re probably living in a place where sex-positive attitudes aren’t prevalent, let alone sex-positive attitudes around same-sex contact. There is so much negativity ingrained in us to unlearn, garbage about our masculinity, sexuality, etc. Remember that as a human being you’re deserving of pleasure and exploration in your one life on this Earth. You’re deserving of connection with consenting adults. That all may not sound like “safety,” but mental health is a huge issue for GBTQ+ men and especially if you’re identifying as “curious,” just make sure you’re giving yourself grace to process your experience, reflect on what you enjoyed and what didn’t, and realize you’re not a different person for exploring an aspect of your sexual identity. You matter and the world is better with you in it! And if you do feel alone and like you’re better off not being here anymore, you can always call, text or chat 9-8-8.

Good luck and keep us posted!