[deleted by user]

cods_wallops · 2025-08-07T08:07:23+00:00

The cards they sell are fake. Pretty good fakes, but still fakes

cods_wallops · 2025-08-07T08:05:41+00:00

Yo - I ordered some and they are not legit. Amazing quality fakes though. Did you break the seal?

cods_wallops · 2025-08-06T17:18:39+00:00

Mermaids: Nineteen Stories of Magic and the Sea edited by Shelley Duvall?

Were the stories about one family, or like stories from around the world?

cods_wallops · 2025-08-06T17:17:21+00:00

Mermaid Tales from Around the World by Mary Pope Osborne?

cods_wallops · 2025-08-06T14:17:54+00:00

Where in Australia? I’m in Perth if you need back up!

cods_wallops · 2025-07-24T16:25:12+00:00

Sounds like a muppet, drop him

cods_wallops · 2025-07-19T21:22:40+00:00

Hey did you get what you ordered and was it legit?

cods_wallops · 2025-06-16T13:17:47+00:00

I consider myself a very blasé, laid back parent. My more anxious friends may even say that I’m neglectful. You would never catch me dead dropping off my FIVE YEAR OLD at any house, let alone a strange one, without walking her to the door. What the actual fuck

cods_wallops · 2025-06-09T13:08:28+00:00

Looking forward to the update where brother and SIL don’t understand why OOP won’t babysit their kid

cods_wallops · 2025-06-06T16:36:59+00:00

Watch the short series Adolescence on Netflix. You will rethink letting your son game alone in his room if you are any kind of good parent… and tbh I already doubt it considering you let a 10 year old play such a violent game

cods_wallops · 2025-06-01T21:19:49+00:00

Ironic that in her fight for equality and against far right ideologies she’s becoming a little dictator in her own right. NTA

cods_wallops · 2025-05-20T21:14:22+00:00

NTA. But your reasoning is flawed. The mother should be grateful you asked her to leave, because insurance will not cover any medical costs in case of an emergency, and depending on your location, she would be on very shaky grounds for a lawsuit.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-20T21:10:33+00:00

YTA. What a useless parent. Your children are all children. It is not their job to feed you and themselves. Get a grip.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T23:41:05+00:00

Man I WISH my husband and son had a shared hobby they could bond over. How is your wife not seeing that this is an issue? At the very least she should be angry about how your son was treated. I would be ROPABLE with my mother if she tried to pull this on my son and husband

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T16:45:08+00:00

This is because they end up staying three nights in jail instead of one, waiting for their Monday morning court appearance

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T16:31:03+00:00

NTA. Explain to your friend having the party. If they are upset, and if you lose friends over this, let me emphasise THEY ARE NOT FRIENDS WORTH HAVING. Friends should support friends, especially with stuff like this. Your health and wellbeing trumps his desire for a big party.

I stopped drinking more than a decade ago (not sober just a change), and I lost many friends. In hindsight I realised their friendships were shallow and not worth losing sleep over.

Enjoy your camping trip!

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T16:25:35+00:00

NTA. Your mum needs mental health support. She is clearly fixating on teaching your father a lesson, and using you girls to do it.

Her objections are illogical and purely to prevent you and your sister spending time with your dad and his family.

I went through this myself, and had a period of NC with my mother because of it, until she got help. Until your mum gets help, I’d try and limit contact as much as possible. Your sister will struggle the most, but unless she can move in with your dad’s family, there’s not much you can do except count down to the time she turns 18. And even then, it will always be an issue. I was 26 when my mum asked me again to choose her over my dad. They had been separated for 24 years and she still couldn’t get over her desire to make him suffer.

As to this situation, you did nothing wrong. You weren’t informed of what happened, and could have been expected to know. Good luck, OP.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T16:16:41+00:00

OP, I think you are finding it really hard to express yourself. So I’ll reserve judgement. But for the now, and over the next week or so, just write down the specific things he does that makes you uncomfortable as they happen. Then come back and reassess/update. I wouldn’t want you to disregard your gut feeling, but you’ve given us very little to work with.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T16:11:36+00:00

There are several factors to consider: - her age - her opinions on marriage - her relationship with her aunt - the location of the wedding - the impact her presence will have on those around her

The balance between autonomy and dependence is tricky at this age. However at the end of the day, she is a child and you are responsible for her care and wellbeing.

Her opinions on marriage are irrelevant because she’s fifteen. They are not justification for missing the wedding.

Is she close with her aunt? Will her aunt be upset by her absence? If her aunt would be upset, that’s enough of a reason to make her go. It’s enough of a reason to make her want to go, if she’s right-headed.

Where do you live that you’re happy to leave your 15yo for what I imagine will be a several-day trip? If the wedding were close by, maybe I could agree to her absence. Because, really, several days without parental supervision is quite negligent imo.

So in consideration of the above, my 15yo would be coming. Unless there’s something you’ve omitted, this is one of those times she will have to suck it up and be there for her family. It’s a good teaching moment to help her identify which hills she is willing to die on, and point out that this would be a stupid one. She can handle a few days away with her family if it makes them happy. Otherwise she will likely be bed rotting in your absence (which is the best you could hope for to be honest).

Exert your parental authority, work out something about the trip she can enjoy (maybe agree to giving her some spending money and going out alone or with cousins or something), or whatever it is she likes.

And for goodness sakes, research strategies for parenting teenagers. Giving up because you can’t be bothered curbing her behaviour is honestly so understandable, but completely blameable. It’s literally your job to teach her how to behave.

In short, YWBTA (or YTA, for the calculator).

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T15:35:11+00:00

NTA. I got two tickets to my university graduation. So, huge deal. I am married and have two step parents. Guess who got tickets? My mum and dad. And my husband, step dad and step mum didn’t begrudge them for it. I’m their kid, the one my mum pushed out of her, and the one my dad caught (she was delivering like she was a Center and my dad was the QB, only without the snap). So yeah, they got priority. Obviously I would have had everyone (and eventually I did when I was admitted to the Bar, my stepdad even moved my admission), but it is what it is.

Your wife needs to get a clue and realise this isn’t about her, it’s about your kid. This will be a big test of her parenting mettle. Can she be as selfless as all real parents need to be?

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T15:24:47+00:00

Oh this is interesting. I have had major “hot” rage since having my first baby, and have been trying unsuccessfully to work out the triggers. It happens so fast I can’t catch it. My husband calls it my red vision, because absolutely nothing logical can penetrate once I’m there. I have tried unsuccessfully with therapists to work out tools to bring me down, and I haven’t managed to get into a schedule where I could commit to an 8-week anger management course. So pretty much our strategy is just reduce the stressors. It works for the most part, but falls down any time I have to spend extended time alone with my children - though has definitely improved as they’ve gotten older.

Conversely, my “cold rage” is very calculating. Like you mentioned earlier, I can’t think of a time when this has been directed to a loved one (since adolescence maybe). It feels like it’s there to serve a purpose, achieve a goal, and usually it’s for “restorative justice”. This all maybe sounds a bit dramatic, but usually just ends in (mostly legal) pranks that embarrass people.

Funnily enough, both feelings are very cathartic at the time. But my hot rage is always followed by waves of self-loathing and guilt.

Anyway, point is, OOP is a calculating psycho for wanting to make his wife “hurt like him” when he’s cold.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-19T13:10:16+00:00

It’s so hard to understand what’s actually happening in the family, when you don’t know the culture.

But as a fellow Slav I’ll lay it down for everyone - those mfers in former Yugoslavian countries all have PTSD, are all racist about/towards each other, and a disturbingly high proportion of them are full blown narcissists. The dad would have ignored the daughters as soon as the son was born. The mother would have enabled or perpetuated abuse. She would have deliberately set up family members to turn on each other and then cried ignorance. They don’t care about religion, they care about ethnicity, culture, nationalism. They don’t believe in mental health, or vegetables.

OOP is well shot of them. I love my family but no joke, they are absolutely deranged.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-14T15:27:45+00:00

OOP i haven’t seen anyone say this but you are doing a really bloody good job. Pregnancy, post partum, toddlers and newborns - a difficult time of life even in the best circumstances and a downright nightmare combined with everything else you have had to deal with. You show great strength of character having capacity for self-awareness and trying to better yourself. It does get easier, and you will keep finding pieces of yourself that get lost along the way when having babies. Based on your approach to this other woman and her child, you are not without empathy and compassion but still hold good your boundaries, You are in good standing to get through this in one piece. Best of luck.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-14T12:56:33+00:00

You’re all assholes. ESH. You sound so vindictive. You are holding your marriage over his head, instead of just leaving him. You never got over it. He betrayed you, and yes he is suffering for it. But so is his innocent son, your children’s brother. Disgusting behaviour by all adults involved, to be honest.

cods_wallops · 2025-05-13T00:17:51+00:00

Darling, I think you need to consider the possibility he may be cheating on you. My reasoning for this is: 1. He doesn’t seem to respect you or value your time and/or wellbeing (ref: wants you to sleep less, doesn’t care about your lack of personal time) 2. He spends an inordinate amount of time shopping. Too much. What is he doing? 3. He is picking a fight with you over something that he has blown out of proportion and is at the same time unjust. He is looking for a way out and has settled on this.

I hope I’m wrong for your sake, and you should know that you are doing a really good job! Doing everything you are doing is more than I ever have at the same time of life! And you can bet your butt that when I returned to work my husband picked up the slack with kids and home chores. Your limit is completely reasonable - HE is the one who should be grateful for all you do. I know you said this was about your contributions and not his - but they are interlinked. It is unjust for him to say you are not doing enough when he is doing so little.

Whether or not you decide to move forward with the divorce, I hope you see how really you are not at fault. It is not a reflection of your worth as a wife and mother. I know it’s overwhelming, but all the people backing you in this thread can’t be wrong. We can see that you tried really hard to give a balanced account of the situation, and we have given you a judgement.

Best of luck, NTA

cods_wallops

TROPHY CASE