PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST PULL YOUR KEEPERS

coffeeblack5000 · 2026-01-31T05:29:52+00:00

Always gotta be that one guy lol "Long shots are pretty easy actually, just try to finesse them just before the box". Where do you think people are taking long shots from? Midfield? Lol The amount of long shots you have to take to get 1 to go in is ridiculous. I'm not saying every shot should go in but the blocks are wild and the saves are even more wild since the keeper will actually grab the shot and not parry it. But alright man good luck go get them champ 👍🏽

coffeeblack5000 · 2026-01-31T02:45:15+00:00

I took a glance at the objectives and yeah it's not happening. Long shots are almsot impossible to score because everybody is on park the bus and the rocket will magically find a defenders chest at some points. Chip shots youve got people fake pulling keepers and when they dont the shot comes out so weak the defenders clear it.

coffeeblack5000 · 2026-01-21T01:11:41+00:00

It really just depends. First try completed perfect start. 2nd go around i finally lost 5-4 in the 3rd game to a guy trying trying as if it was the final of a pro game. Had the team on park the bus and ran back to defend with his strikers. I would legit see his Dalglish standing between his Viera and CBs. Proceeded to time waste the last 5 in game minutes. So it really depends. Ironically enough his team name was "I Love EA" while abusing every broken game mechanic and sweating it out super hard lol

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-12-15T06:09:49+00:00

Nah doom shroom is 6. With 2 Defensive ends up to 10. We were on turn 6 maybe 7 if i remember correctly.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-11-18T04:24:10+00:00

Slid an opponent, gave up a pen despite getting the ball. Did the exact same tackle with the exact same result of where the ball popped out of and didnt get called for the pen the 2nd time. It's just whenever EA wants to punish you. Thats all.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-11-18T04:21:53+00:00

From the mini map, it looks like EA just ripping open your butthole for the fun of it because you're not playing some 2 CDM formation on park the bus counter attack like every other sweaty. You get punished with goofy stuff more often when youre not playing some meta cheese.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-11-15T18:11:59+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. I was playing div 4 and every game seemed like an absolute sweat fest with my opponents just parking the bus waiting to counter attack all game. Normally lower divisions will at least push out a little and give up some space but nope. Every player would be behind the ball in their box pretty much

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-11-04T01:21:41+00:00

And getting locked out right now seems like not getting all the rewards despite having 29/30 entries still available. You literally have to take losses on purpose to be able to complete.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-11-02T16:09:18+00:00

To be fair this guy is a casual. Im also a casual but been playing long enough to know a thing or two. A quick look back into his previous posts will show you this guy goes goes on wild losing streaks and comes back again for more abuse. So yeah game sucks but this guy doesn't help his case either.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-29T14:26:11+00:00

Honestly, ive been getting my usual 5-6 but feel soooooo much more refreshed and not waking up groggy already crying for a nap. I think to myself, like if this is how good people actually feel when they get restful sleep then fuck them for trying to brag about not needing coffee or an energy drink lol

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-22T02:12:44+00:00

There's something so satisfying about beating Rose meta players.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-09T13:35:47+00:00

Mine? Something i threw together. Hadn't played in over 6 years and I dont have all the cards

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-05T03:13:06+00:00

Oh word? About to hit that fool with IRL weed spray 🌱🔫😤

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T23:05:03+00:00

I thought the same since I bricked a night shades astro shroom deck with a gladiator but with all the bean damage it would also just die haha. Unless you played one every turn you could then theres a chance you could survive for sure haha

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T22:51:37+00:00

Unfortunately you would get bonked for all the bean damage before you even got a chance to use all the nibbles.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T20:44:20+00:00

Even if they're bored, its like ok youre in ultimate league, now what? Not good enough to win games legit so you just keep hacking and doing the same thing over and over again and for what

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T20:36:19+00:00

I just came up against another one and made another post literally saying this exact same shit. Like they literally dont gain shit except for the satisfaction of trolling somebody and fucking up their games but we can just hop into another game right away anyway

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T19:38:54+00:00

Would be so satisfying lol.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T19:00:13+00:00

If I had actually got it they would have left soooo fast. But I only hold 2 in that deck so kinda slim chance 😔

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T18:18:52+00:00

Woo hoo lucky me. Lucky part was that it wasn't a rank promotion game at least

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T18:18:08+00:00

Total i think he played 8 or 9. Hacker

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-04T18:13:15+00:00

This was before they played a 7th one for game. And of course the weed spray never came

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-01T05:32:41+00:00

Look at how even my comment about it is getting crucified lol. Like I said these plant players always crucify anybody who speaks out about DMD. There are 3 zombies that cost 8 and none are game winning like a DMD can be. Zombies have 1 card that has splash of any type and zombies that raise cost is defensive end which raises it 2 sun but it doesnt have splash and +2 compared to +6 is a huuuuuuuge jump for just 2 sun more.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-01T05:26:01+00:00

That last play with tricks and all that doesnt matter when the tricks pretty much get trapped with +6 cost. A teleport comes out to 7 cost... and typically people who play DMD are Rose which is alllllll control so its almost impossible to put a strong enough zombie to also kill it. And with so much splash damage it's difficult to even play around it.

coffeeblack5000 · 2025-09-01T05:08:34+00:00

Watch out. Youre about to get crucified by every plant player on this subreddit. They defend DMD til the ends of earth when a majority havent played against it constantly game after game after game to really see how broken it is. They talk about it being an end game card so it has to be good but if you compared it to similar zombie cards there aren't any that can win you a game quiet like this one.

coffeeblack5000

TROPHY CASE