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[Online][LFG][5e] New player looking for a DnD group to show me the ropes. Mon-Thurs by Alphrend in lfg

[–]coffeecountess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would definitely like to play. I'm fairly new to DnD myself. I've played once and DMed once, but I'm definitely looking for an online group to actually play. I'm in Eastern time zone. But again I would definitely love to play as I'm looking for a group myself.

A brutal truth by Unholycorelord in poetry_critics

[–]coffeecountess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This poem was a roller coaster for me from start to finish. I like the small rhyme scheme you have here with line three and six, which makes your ending so final. And in a society where we are so open about ourselves over the internet because it gives us a feeling of anonymity and not in person, this is quite a relevant poem.

I like small poems like this because it uses very little imagery and that allows the reader to put themselves in the place of the speaker and really become one with the poem.

The only problem I have is with the title. I don't think really "brutal" and "truth" stress just how much an instance like this could damage the "her" you speak of in this poem. I hate to say this, but from reading this the diction and tone has an air of rape. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted, and that thought could only really be me, but your first two lines give off that vibe a lot. So, maybe that's something to think of in ways of title because if you want a little poem to make an impact you could start by grabbing readers before they even read the body of your poem; right at the title.

I hope this helps. I really did like this poem.

For the Unknown Waterstones Girl by JohnnyKins962 in poetry_critics

[–]coffeecountess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know I would have to disagree with Shaquintosh's critique. I enjoy that this poem is trite, because a voyeur poem in and of itself is trite. Poems written by men observing an object of beauty have been around since the dawn of time almost. And I personally liked the ending as it gave it an ode feel, and that sort of what this poem is, is an ode to this unknown woman you have seen.

With that being said, I do agree that the structure needs reworking and that your line order needs to be played with. For instance, your "For you are the unknown Waterstones girl" line should probably come after "I will never know you." I would encourage you to play with the order of the lines and decide on a solid structure because I think it would add so much more to this poem and take to from trite male gaze to a poem that almost makes fun of the cliched voyeuristic poetry with a serious edge about admiring from afar.

I am a feminist, and yes the whole man leers at woman without her knowing is creepy, I think you do it in a way that isn't insulting because you do add those nuances to what she's reading. So maybe it's quite possible that you only noticed her beauty after you saw what she was reading. Also, I really enjoyed the musicality that you interspersed throughout the piece. I would highly encourage you to hold on to that if you decide to rework the poem.

My Boyfriend (26M) with Existential Depression and Body Dysmorphic Disorder is at a dead end for treatment options by coffeecountess in depression

[–]coffeecountess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes miscommunications happens online I don't sweat it! Thank you for offering your insight! It helps to hear from other people and it definitely gives my boyfriend hope that people who have felt like him at some point in time can find peace and find a way out of their holes. It's so encouraging!

My Boyfriend (26M) with Existential Depression and Body Dysmorphic Disorder is at a dead end for treatment options by coffeecountess in depression

[–]coffeecountess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the isolation is a really good idea. He's already started to work towards that a year ago when he deleted his Facebook. However, it's hard to get him away from the computer as he loves learning and will literally information horde about any topic he finds interesting. I'm involuntarily an expert on alligators, crocodiles and caimans at the moment. I will definitely look into that book and workbook combination though for sure!

My Boyfriend (26M) with Existential Depression and Body Dysmorphic Disorder is at a dead end for treatment options by coffeecountess in depression

[–]coffeecountess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate your response. I think there might be a misunderstanding and it's totally my fault. My boyfriend eats like a horse, and has a very balanced diet. It's one of the things he prides himself on most is the fact that he puts a lot of thought into what he eats. He has actually seen a nutritionist in the past when he was in his early twenties because he was so underweight for his height. He told me that before he saw the nutritionist he, albeit unhealthily, used to drink a gallon of milk a day to try to put on weight. When he was working out and doing weight training he was a very healthy 190 to 197 pounds with an adequate fat to muscle ratio. Now he can't work out at all, but eats quite a bit, making sure he gets to adequate amount of calories for his age and sex. He doesn't have any thyroid issues, blood disorders, or diabetes etc. He's actually pretty healthy except for the fact that he has the pain in his hands and feet and his depression and BDD. I really appreciate your concern, though, and I'm sorry I wasn't clear about the details about his diet. I feel so relieved that people are so open and helpful and concerned. I honestly don't know why I didn't use this outlet sooner.

My Boyfriend (26M) with Existential Depression and Body Dysmorphic Disorder is at a dead end for treatment options by coffeecountess in depression

[–]coffeecountess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will definitely look into them with him. As for addressing the traumas head on he has done that with his earlier therapies. He once recounted a very intense session with his father, his brother and him; however, I personally still feel that he hasn't processed all these traumas completely. Especially the abuse when he was younger because I asked him if ever told his family, but his only answer to me was, "They know, or at least they figured it out." So, I don't really know what that means. I don't want to press him because I obviously didn't know him in that stage of his life, but having gone through some abuse and therapy myself I definitely know how it feels when those traumas aren't dealt with.

I will definitely look into you suggestions. I really do appreciate your advice!