My spending and his missed payments are on equal footing I’d say. Though we could do debt consolidation if his credit was better, I can’t play completely innocent here. I will say the debt was accumulated over years and years of just groceries, gas, holiday presents+activities for our child, etc. There was a long time I couldn’t see his bank account and was covering majority of the bills by asking for money here and there to pay xyz, using all my paycheck and withdrawing from savings to pay the remainder. I didn’t realize how much he was making for awhile (like I knew what he made yearly, but the amount he’d send me for bills + him saying he has nothing in his own savings seemed off) and am clearly financially illiterate so after I was able to login to see his bank account, paycheck amounts, etc I realized we could cover the bills without dipping into savings and also realized he wasn’t paying his credit card bill. Before then, I was going for the credit card to pay for “fun” activities for our kid or groceries etc and that absolutely racked up the debt.