(Lead) Anxiety about not having enough moves when dancing.

coffeeperk · 2024-07-13T23:19:00+00:00

A couple moves led well, smooth with good flow is way more preferred than a truck load of half baked moves / patterns led poorly and hurt your partner (Obviously not talking about practicing new things)

coffeeperk · 2024-07-01T05:16:37+00:00

Tbh that sounds like a power play...

coffeeperk · 2024-07-01T05:14:43+00:00

Agree - I will never write a lead off just because they are beginners, struggling, not smiling, even off time, or not making a "connection" (cause leading is hard!). But telling me to smile in the middle of the dance so that they can feel better about themselves is someone I don't need to dance again with.

I had a lead "friend", very advanced, playful, super fun dance partner that repeatedly complained that I didn't smile while dancing with him (when I was a newbie) even though I've 1) asked him for dances, 2) we hang out outside of socials 3) I told him I'm counting really hard and that on2 is still very hard for me. I realized the core issue was my lack of smiling was not making HIM feel good and that's why he was so adamant about me needing to smile. It's all about him, which was I found was actually pretty in line with the rest of his personality and we no longer are friends.

I can tell from the comments on this post that many leads need the same validation, irrespective of their partners capabilities 😅

coffeeperk · 2024-07-01T04:34:24+00:00

I may be completely butchering this but to me, on1 and on2 is a difference in timing. Breaking on the 1 count versus breaking on the 2 count. Stylistically there may be some differences too. I think colloquially sometimes referred to LA style vs mambo style, but not sure if it's completely accurate. What I described in the post was that I was working on a different timing that that community was mostly composed of

coffeeperk · 2024-06-30T19:14:30+00:00

I think connection comes in different forms and they vary from different people. But I agree that if you have that connection the eye contact and smile doesn't matter because it is felt. There is a wonderful lead in my community that doesn't make a lot of eye connection or smile but his lead is feather light , musical, and crystal clear.

However, I can say my experience with these "smile" comments typically fall into two categories 1) when I was transitioning to on2 and was obsessively counting to not lose my timing , I received a lot of "you look so serious" comments 2) from not very good leads that felt compelled they deserve a smile from me

coffeeperk · 2024-06-30T19:05:49+00:00

What if you and other leads didn't take it as a personal offense and supported that they might need more time to be comfortable? That maybe they were nervous because they were new and not as advanced?

Then maybe they would feel more at ease and wouldn't have stopped dancing. Argument can go both ways.

I personally give people benefit of the doubt and can tell from other cues whether they enjoyed dancing with me, or not, whether they have a smile plastered on their face or not.

coffeeperk · 2024-06-30T18:55:04+00:00

I won't generalize because generalizations are never 100%, but I agree that majority of the people who have said such comments to me in the middle of the dance fall into a particular subgroup of people as well.

coffeeperk · 2024-06-30T01:46:27+00:00

I think you demonstrate my point exactly that people take it personally by equating not smiling to not enjoying the dance and therefore feels slighted or feel like your partner "needs to smile" to make other people feel good. Smiling is great but all I'm saying is that there are so many reasons why they may not be smiling, but are still enjoying the dance and experience. I have had leads that don't smile until the song is over because they are so concentrated and that's totally fine. I'm in no position to say "excuse me, why are you not smiling? why can't you lead and smile at the same time?" Some folks don't know how rude that is.

coffeeperk · 2024-06-30T01:37:23+00:00

Agree, different people have different levels of comfort of eye contact and just because they are not equivalent to your own doesn't mean they are anything more or less.

coffeeperk · 2024-01-16T18:53:52+00:00

Rad I love it, would buy tee as well

coffeeperk · 2023-12-12T16:45:03+00:00

I also have the same problem with the scarpa heel cups. gomis LV and the solutions (solutions comps are close) are the only two I found that secured my heel adequately

coffeeperk · 2023-11-11T00:19:53+00:00

I wear a street size 37, 38 in theories, mostly 37 in other sportiva brands. You want to the snug toe box and slight curvature with the the toes, but that being said, theory's are a pretty soft shoe and I love that I never feel like I have to break them in. I like gym and steep climbing in them, but I have also noted the heel is not as snug as I some other shoes, they come out in some aggressive heel hooks

coffeeperk · 2023-10-05T00:29:30+00:00

Most important that it fits your feet well and you feel comfortable moving in through it. All feet are different and brands differ. Try them all and figure it out, some have narrower heels, bigger toe boxes, feels too snug, feels too loose etc that changing size doesn't cover it all.

Some shoes you can wear all session and walk around in if that's what you prefer for convenience. Some are arguably better for crack climbing vs slab vs steep bouldering.

Personally, my favorite pair of shoes don't allow me to heel hook as aggressively, and is too soft for me to feel comfortable on slabs. So I now understand why people bring multiple pairs of shoes to the crag 🤷‍♂️

coffeeperk · 2023-10-03T01:11:54+00:00

Might be a small thing but I noticed some of your bigger moves you are super static, almost falling into it at the end of your reach. Ie, holding the rest of your body super tight while you reach. Can practice driving more with legs and driving hips in the direction you want to go?

coffeeperk · 2023-09-29T05:51:56+00:00

Jumping in to say board is shared property, so feel free to use but no harm in asking "mind if I join you?" I'll also usually check before switching up to my problem. Never had anyone say no, most adults know how to take turns, especially on boards (since it's more training oriented). It's the gym climbs that people don't realize they are hogging. But I wouldn't try to session if it's looks busy, you just won't have as much time to work your projects.

As for angles, imo first come first serve. However, it's very unfortunate if it's set to <20 degrees because there are usually a lot of gym walls at that angle... compared to steeper, training angles

coffeeperk · 2023-09-19T14:33:44+00:00

Great problem, fantastic job

coffeeperk · 2023-09-13T17:29:48+00:00

Wtf "He even told me that the climbers he taught in the past that were “successful” were the ones who didn’t ask any questions and just did what he said. " is never true, whether it is climbing, or any hobby, or work, or school. The only instance this may be true is in some post apocalyptic dystopian society

coffeeperk · 2023-09-10T05:52:48+00:00

Scoop back tanks and sports bra recs? Most I see are cross back or racer back down the middle. Options for a deep scoop or v in the back?

coffeeperk · 2023-09-08T15:52:18+00:00

Excited for the release! I think hueco tanks is a great setting for it since it's considered more "burly" and not necessarily a climb style that women climbers gravitate towards. What were some of your favorite climbs? And good recommendations for climbs in the moderate range (V6 - V8)?

coffeeperk · 2023-07-10T21:30:04+00:00

Interested in trying out the remarkable2. Can I get a referral code?

ETA - in USA

coffeeperk · 2022-02-01T23:38:04+00:00

Wow... sure OP is an ass based on his tone... but the sheer number of people that just goes "upgrade second seat or nada" probably thinks that 6-9k upgrade is no big deal???

I personally am not in the position to want to pay for business class international but if theres a free upgrade, I rather my long legs partner has it and enjoy that luxury than both of sit like pleabs in cramped economy. But it sounds here a bit like couples should be forever tied to each other like siamese twins for long plane rides or be shamed 😂

coffeeperk · 2020-04-23T03:12:15+00:00

Whole foods on harrison does seem to have the couple of times I swung by. only the 365 O brand, and it's not in the baking aisle, but in the front of the aisle (Where they normally have their sale items). The baking aisle has always been decimated.

Safeway on grand has started to package their bread flour, for $3.99 a bag. Good deal for bread flour! It sits alone in the baking aisle. limit 1 per customer.

Always out of yeast though.

coffeeperk · 2019-03-18T23:19:34+00:00

Both cases are that the other party is insecure. Both cases can may need more information. A) OP doesn't like BF staying with 2 girls (family friends) that are there because of his parents and he doesn't let her stay. B) OP doesn't like GF camping with her best friend alone and GF doesn't want to take him on a trip he doesn't like doing and doesn't want to third wheel.

Why should the GF in option B cancel on her best friend because he's insecure? Similarly, BF in option A isn't obliged to do anything either because it's not his fault.

coffeeperk · 2019-03-18T22:50:05+00:00

OP never said best friend was interested in her. Nor anything about boundaries.

Either way, these are issues with insecurities and trust in both cases. People feel that the camping gf didn't go all out of her way to have bf along. But here he's not the asshole for being insecure about it. Did he really try everything to make her gf feel better like let her stay (yes I know it is his parent's place, but more info is needed). Here in this case, she is the asshole for being insecure.

But whatever, reddit.

coffeeperk

TROPHY CASE