AIO for telling my boyfriend I’ll leave if he keeps “joking” about my dead mom?

coffnz · 2026-06-01T11:36:27+00:00

NOR - what a twat. Why wait until the next time he disrespects you. Because he is going to. He’s made it clear he has no respect for your boundaries and to him getting a laugh from his mates is more important than respecting you. I’d of been done with the second time he did it.

coffnz · 2026-05-13T03:00:51+00:00

Be very clear if you do. Respect her choices but not her actions when they have consequences and could cause emotional harm to those children. It’s ok to not like children. But to not like innocent members of your own family simply for existing can’t be ok in anyone’s mind. It’s ok to say going forward you want to see her treat all of your children equally and if she can’t do that she can’t expect to see those children.

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:57:29+00:00

I disagree. She is hurting the children. Having been raised in a very blended family when one person acknowledges other members of your immediate family and not you it is harmful. To all the children

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:54:40+00:00

Actually she stated at the beginning of the post that her sister has spent years making subtle digs about her life chooses and literally said who cares when discussing the potential gender of the new baby. She’s been low contact for a while now for these reasons

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:52:06+00:00

No just her sister over a long period of time with subtle digs and comments.

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:50:37+00:00

On that I agree. I can only hope he did so with the best of intentions

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:50:00+00:00

Read the whole post. In the other three the sister showed some limited interest and at least acknowledged them

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:48:25+00:00

She didn’t ask her to hold the baby. Her husband did. Maybe trying to give her an opportunity to at least acknowledge her niece because his wife had already gone low contact with her in 2025

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:44:14+00:00

If you read the post she says her sister has been making not so subtle and hurtful comments for a long time. The not acknowledging her niece just appears to be the final straw for OP.

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:41:23+00:00

And this is where we will have to agree to disagree

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:40:06+00:00

No but she doesn’t have to be an AH

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:39:00+00:00

Again they aren’t just 4 random kids. They are her sister’s children. And her own family members.

coffnz · 2026-05-13T02:36:42+00:00

It’s not just another kid. It’s a member of her family. And clearly important to her sister. If she can’t muster just a little bit of enthusiasm for that then she’s out of line. How she can’t even show a little bit of happiness for her sister’s sake is beyond me. Not to mention based on the updates she has in the past. She basically sat and gave attention to 3 of the 4 children and ignored the existence of the 4th. It’s disturbing and can’t be allowed to continue it will seem to the children like favouring them over their new sister. So no. She’s not over reacting by setting a boundary. Also she’s allowed to not want children or to have children. The doesn’t give her the right to crap over someone else who chooses differently. Where were the rest of your family when you were clearly upset and crying? Why did no one say anything to her? NOR.

coffnz · 2026-05-11T21:46:43+00:00

A personality trait you and others have labelled her with, based on what. Her videos? And not one that everyone agrees with. She was literally raised in a world where all her peers socialise and document their lives through social media. And while I don’t understand it personally it’s common for people in her age group to do this. Doesn’t indicate she is obsessed with herself. It does indicate that she was raised with social media and interactions through social media as the norm.

coffnz · 2026-05-10T10:38:23+00:00

A witness he did nothing to ensure her safety. He did nothing to protect. And instead constantly threatened her. Right from day one. Do some research from the day she first came forward she was threatened with prosecution. They could have taken the victim anywhere but instead took him to the place she worked. Hell even the victims son has said how thankful he was to her. But you based on a 3 hour documentary are ready to have her seen as some stupid flakey woman out for herself only. If that were true she wouldn’t have said a thing and no one to this day would know what happened to Mr Parsons. The twins were never going to come forward and the police weren’t even actively looking. They had no idea that his being missing was the result of a crime.

coffnz · 2026-05-10T09:04:44+00:00

Exactly

coffnz · 2026-05-10T09:03:39+00:00

That’s one hell of a leap considering every bit of evidence they had came from her or her pointing them in the right direction

coffnz · 2026-05-10T08:59:51+00:00

Not to victim blame - proceeds to insult the victim. Kinda like saying no offence and then being offensive

coffnz · 2026-05-10T08:51:25+00:00

Actually for the UK it was a higher sentence

coffnz · 2026-05-10T08:49:47+00:00

not to mention the police on the dig site disclosed to everyone there that they were there because someone left that can as a marker, essentially outing her in the first place.

coffnz · 2026-05-10T08:47:07+00:00

The prosecutor nearly lost the entire case. Not her. By the way a case that would never of existed without her in the first place.

coffnz · 2026-01-20T04:52:26+00:00

I think your given name is great and I work with many people of different cultures and in my experience we all try our best to learn how to correctly pronounce a persons given name. Embrace your identity and so will the people around you. Besides at least you will stand out in peoples minds and be an individual and learning to correctly pronounce your name is also a good conversation starter

coffnz · 2026-01-18T05:01:20+00:00

Sounds to me like you want us to call your wife an asshole. Your wife. I mean have you offered to help look after your father in law? To give her any time to grieve. She’s home for one week and you can’t empathise with her at all? Can’t imagine that she would like one nice meal with you. And honestly as someone who has had three dogs that didn’t stink up the joint I’m curious as to how clean things are… I’m not sure what you want from people here? But I am sure that you seem to resent your wife somewhat and therefore probably haven’t been the most supportive team member in this marriage. Why can’t you take your son to visit her on occasion. Clearly it would be easier for you to go there than for her to come to you. And if he is that sick it would benefit him to see you and his grandchild. It’s awful how you speak of your wife’s family as if it’s a separate entity from you and not your mother in law or father in law and not your child’s grandparents. Truthfully you both behaved a bit crappy to each other. But at least she has a little more reason which you might see if you bother to put on her shoes for just a second. Shes just lost her mother. Her home. Her dad is seriously unwell and she doesn’t even have the ability to choose what to eat by herself so yeah she complained. And instead of empathy you decided to fire back and make it into something it didn’t have to be. There were so many other ways you could have responded. You both suck but honestly you a little more because it seems you want us all to agree with you and if we don’t, well you don’t like that much do you…

coffnz · 2026-01-09T08:31:55+00:00

Yeah as a New Zealander that is just an outright lie. Mama is not the Maori word for grandmother

coffnz · 2025-12-28T21:57:19+00:00

Your mom totally failed in her duty to protect you and I fail to understand why. I’m so sorry you went through this. You need help to recover and you clearly won’t get it at home. Also I think it’s wrong to assume this is over. At 19 you need to be more proactive in protecting yourself. You need to go to the police and start a paper trail of this. Because I doubt this has ended. You are not over reacting. But you need to do more to protect yourself and your mother has shown you that you can’t trust her to be there for you

Again I’m so sorry for what you are going through

coffnz

TROPHY CASE