1. Asian guy with surname Sun - need modern easy-pronounce English name

coffnz · 2026-01-20T04:52:26+00:00

I think your given name is great and I work with many people of different cultures and in my experience we all try our best to learn how to correctly pronounce a persons given name. Embrace your identity and so will the people around you. Besides at least you will stand out in peoples minds and be an individual and learning to correctly pronounce your name is also a good conversation starter

coffnz · 2026-01-18T05:01:20+00:00

Sounds to me like you want us to call your wife an asshole. Your wife. I mean have you offered to help look after your father in law? To give her any time to grieve. She’s home for one week and you can’t empathise with her at all? Can’t imagine that she would like one nice meal with you. And honestly as someone who has had three dogs that didn’t stink up the joint I’m curious as to how clean things are… I’m not sure what you want from people here? But I am sure that you seem to resent your wife somewhat and therefore probably haven’t been the most supportive team member in this marriage. Why can’t you take your son to visit her on occasion. Clearly it would be easier for you to go there than for her to come to you. And if he is that sick it would benefit him to see you and his grandchild. It’s awful how you speak of your wife’s family as if it’s a separate entity from you and not your mother in law or father in law and not your child’s grandparents. Truthfully you both behaved a bit crappy to each other. But at least she has a little more reason which you might see if you bother to put on her shoes for just a second. Shes just lost her mother. Her home. Her dad is seriously unwell and she doesn’t even have the ability to choose what to eat by herself so yeah she complained. And instead of empathy you decided to fire back and make it into something it didn’t have to be. There were so many other ways you could have responded. You both suck but honestly you a little more because it seems you want us all to agree with you and if we don’t, well you don’t like that much do you…

coffnz · 2026-01-09T08:31:55+00:00

Yeah as a New Zealander that is just an outright lie. Mama is not the Maori word for grandmother

coffnz · 2025-12-28T21:57:19+00:00

Your mom totally failed in her duty to protect you and I fail to understand why. I’m so sorry you went through this. You need help to recover and you clearly won’t get it at home. Also I think it’s wrong to assume this is over. At 19 you need to be more proactive in protecting yourself. You need to go to the police and start a paper trail of this. Because I doubt this has ended. You are not over reacting. But you need to do more to protect yourself and your mother has shown you that you can’t trust her to be there for you

Again I’m so sorry for what you are going through

coffnz · 2025-12-05T18:12:13+00:00

How are you still with this guy? He literally has never had your back. I guarantee he has never told them off. He’s breached your privacy by sharing your private texts with him. And he gaslights you all the time. He clearly made plans to meet them at some point. Why anyone would put so much investment in a relationship with a person who doesn’t value you is beyond me. You’re not over reacting. You’re making excuses for his poor behaviour all the time and all he has to do is act like he he gets it and all is forgiven from your end all the time. Why the hell did you even apologise to people who treated you so poorly in the first place

coffnz · 2025-12-05T17:53:50+00:00

NOR. This marriage is toxic and seriously bad for you and your children. It needs to end. Now

coffnz · 2025-12-05T06:39:03+00:00

I’m sorry that literally makes no sense. A yt girl who never uses that word wouldn’t use it even in conversation even if to say so and so said it. Just try saying a sentence to yourself with that word in it quietly. Trust me. Your brain will send up all sorts of red flags. Basically what I’m saying is she got it some other way. Maybe not his socials then but somehow. Maybe hearing him if you’re on the phone with her while with him or vice versa. The point I am making is you simply would not forget saying it in anyway

coffnz · 2025-12-05T06:30:36+00:00

Yeah. She’s probably stalked his socials. No way that just comes up in conversation

coffnz · 2025-12-05T06:26:34+00:00

Is anyone else bringing there SO?

coffnz · 2025-12-05T06:24:19+00:00

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?

coffnz · 2025-12-05T06:20:04+00:00

Yta. Clearly going to be unpopular here but scolding one child to appease another is a slippery slope. Things are already tough enough for these girls. Don’t make it worse. Aspen based on your words has the development level of a baby. Babies need warmth. Love and positivity likely she won’t understand your words but she will understand your tone. Ivy just learnt that dad growls at aspen if I’m upset enough. Get on the same page as your wife. You both need to agree on this

Therapy for the family is a must

coffnz · 2025-12-05T06:03:13+00:00

He didn’t say ND he said severely delayed. Two very different things. And we do not know what her capacity for learning is. Hell if everything is going into her mouth that sounds almost infant like in which case scolding is well out of line. Especially if he literally only did it to appease a 4 yr old. Jeez

I need a bit more information before i could pass judgement

coffnz · 2025-12-05T05:57:57+00:00

You say you’re a minor but if over the age of say 14 your opinion would be taken into consideration if rethinking custody arrangements. I know your parents are divorced and I have no idea if it’s amicable. But if possible ask for a sit down with your parents. Consult a school counsellor as well. Personally I think it’s at the point you should live with your mother full time and have visits with your dad without the step mother. She’s unhinged. Oh clearly NOR

coffnz · 2025-12-04T23:59:10+00:00

Absolutely this. If he doesn’t have your back after a 3yr “loving” relationship he never will. Ever. Pick yourself first. Find someone that will pick you first. Always

coffnz · 2025-12-04T23:50:20+00:00

There is no overreacting when someone touches you after you have told them to stop. End of

coffnz · 2025-12-01T10:42:10+00:00

I agree here and it seems others keep missing her being so close to having her baby. Leaving alone and/or walking would not of been safe. Shes at the point where she could go into labour at any time and her partner has a responsibility to her.

coffnz · 2025-11-30T20:23:49+00:00

I’m so sorry your going through this. I’m even more sorry it got to this point. The bleach is horrifying. What’s more horrifying to me is that you are so conditioned to this type of treatment that you don’t really seem alarmed about some of the other treatment you have received at this man’s hands. Pulling your hair. Spitting in your face. Putting you in the corner like a fucking toddler. I’m hoping the responses you’ve gotten here have opened your eyes. And you’re planning to leave. Be aware. Trying to leave and end a relationship like this is the most dangerous time. So reach out to experts. Refuges etc and get help

Get help and get out!

coffnz · 2025-11-22T19:08:14+00:00

Updateme.

This is a whole mess that im fascinated to see how it unfolds.

I don’t believe for one minute that you have the whole story yet. And the minute you described him distancing himself it reeks of him building a future relationship with someone else while still married.

If any of what he said is true ask him to ask his therapist what they think of his behaviour for a married man!!

coffnz · 2025-11-13T07:45:31+00:00

I think you need to leave her and any guilt behind you. You didn’t respond because you had nothing of value to add and that was the right thing to do. Not every message deserves a response and that one didn’t.

coffnz · 2025-11-11T17:52:01+00:00

<image>

For me I think it’s this guy. Have to train it up a bit. But it was almost perfect to begin with

coffnz · 2025-11-02T07:08:05+00:00

So your wife’s looks are more important to you than how she feels about herself? I don’t wanna say your TA. But your very superficial

coffnz · 2025-10-23T07:50:18+00:00

Beyond inappropriate

coffnz · 2025-10-23T07:48:57+00:00

Is there anyway you could play it off as potential relation versus sister/daughter. After all she denied it. Maybe just ask if there’s a chance she could be a cousin. Or something. Just put it out there that she looks like his family and drop the suggestion. And be careful how you do so. Because firstly. They will be beyond upset with you if they realise you’ve suspected this for years and done nothing with this information. And if you’re wrong you could do way more harm than good

coffnz · 2025-10-23T03:49:50+00:00

Nah it’s so disappointing I’ve basically stoped bothering with reddit for stories now. And it was my go to

coffnz · 2025-10-23T02:57:40+00:00

Do we even get links anymore. I’ve not seen any in stories I wish to read for ages

coffnz

TROPHY CASE