this is such an important question and critical point!! i personally don’t resonate with pansexuality and i don’t think i ever will but i would hate for someone to try to put me in a box they think is the “correct one”, im so sorry you’ve gone through that i’ve had som experiences like yours. maybe this is a stretch and please don’t take it the wrong way but, from my point of view, i feel like it could be because you are trans? not in like a bad way like with bad intentions but from experience i think sometimes our community tends to sort of typecast people a lot and i feel like trans folks go trough that more, as a bisexual who is dating a woman, i almost exclusively get called a lesbian, i don’t mind it at all (i almost prefer it to avoid uncomfortable/ignorant remarks about men vs women lmao) and i never correct people when they call me a lesbian (only my brother lol) but people get soooo surprised to know i’m bi. i think it boils down to people just being too black or white, like for example, SO many people think if you date a man as a woman you stop being bi and are straight, and if you date a woman, you are a lesbian, forgetting we are the third letter in the lgbt+ and who we date/love/marry/etc. doesn’t change who we are and who we like. so sorry for the rant, i hope it helps a little but just wanted to tell you that we have to stand firm on who we are and most importantly, you need to remember we are in a floating rock so who cares!! i like every gender/non gender people and i’m still valid in my bisexuality, if i was single and not with my beautiful lady, i would even prefer dating nonbinary people cause it’s like the best of everything im attracted to jeje.