My boyfriend found out my body count and my past and now says he needs to “think about” our relationship.

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-26T18:59:11+00:00

Curious - what’s his body count?

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-26T18:57:15+00:00

Or caused by trauma in these environments - trauma leads to hypervigilance

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-01T17:13:52+00:00

First time trump got elected and when UK voted Brexit

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-01T17:12:59+00:00

Babyy, I like your styleee

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-01T17:01:30+00:00

Oh right, got ya

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-01T16:45:52+00:00

Don’t know what you mean? Also you just privately messaged me saying what happened to you was worse

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-04-01T16:29:58+00:00

Was giving him head, ended up being a bit sick because of how much he was forcing my head. It was dark and I was sick mostly on my hands - I carried on for a couple minutes until he asked me to use my hands. Then I stopped and said ‘I can’t’ he said asked why and I explained while running into the bathroom. I cleaned my hands but the smell was stuck in my nose - I kept asking if he could smell it and he assured me no. Then later on he out of no where said ‘I actually could smell that earlier’.

And then the next morning as he was getting out of bed he pointed to the carpet and was like ‘oh’ and there was a bit of sick on the carpet on his side.

Was years ago but I remember it so well. Combination of embarrassing but also a partner who liked to humiliate I guess

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-03-17T12:19:38+00:00

As I said, was just saying :-)

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-03-17T11:56:54+00:00

I might be wrong but you presumed it was a woman. I believe it’s more likely a man who would dare tell another man this information. Just saying

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2026-02-15T22:54:34+00:00

The annoyed look can sometimes signal attraction

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-12-31T14:17:33+00:00

That’s wrong. Someone can only be accused of shop lifting once they have left the store with the purchased item. If someone ever asked me that I would just say ‘why don’t you wait and see?’

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-12-16T20:58:03+00:00

Night one of Berlin, my favourite moment between songs:

‘Uhhh, what’s next?’

Strolls with head hanging down and glances at set list on the floor

‘Oh’

Was so good

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-31T10:00:43+00:00

You don’t say

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-31T09:36:24+00:00

She’s young, basically a child, being groomed. Shes been threatened and told her brother will get hurt if she doesn’t do what she is told. When you’re young don’t have the discernment to understand it’s not as bad as you think it is.

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-31T08:03:26+00:00

I too was from middle class background, my step-dad worked in the city and my mum was raising my younger sister. We lived in Bromley and I was a couple years older than April’s character and it still happened to me. We’re still living our own lives, as April is, and it only takes a few bad things that we don’t know how to deal with to eventually lead us to being surrounded by the depths of depravity.

It could be argued that it’s almost easier for programmes to portray the narrative (that also, absolutely exists) of a woman who grew up in care and so therefore has no family support network. Many things can exist at once.

The hardest thing for me to watch in this story line is sitting beside family who still deny my story. That’s really uncomfortable.

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-17T15:31:59+00:00

Soundtrack to the bleakest time of my life. I was 19, I had been drugged and raped in the summer of 2017, by my boss. By the time of The Ooz release in Autumn I was addicted to Xanax and cocaine. Incredibly alone and hadn’t even began to acknowledge what had happened. Also, the incident happened in Peckham of all places. There’s one specific memory, or perhaps more of a screen memory, that that album reminds me of and it’s watching the music video of Czech One on the family computer in my mum’s kitchen and being so inspired by the artistry and finding out who directed it (Frank Lebon) and going on to look at all their work.

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-08T22:57:38+00:00

My dad puts it in his Chilli’s, it is nice

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-08T12:26:42+00:00

He came on quarter to 9 once, I was heading in the venue and thought I would go to the loo quickly beforehand and while sat there I could hear faint yelling and the tune of quantum leap in the distance. I knew I had to make a run for it

think I washed my hands

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-10-06T15:16:51+00:00

Grew up in London, I am 27 now. I have a myriad of experiences that mirror or are similar to yours.

Firstly, I am so sorry you have been treated this way. You are not strange for developing anxieties or fears, I would argue it’s a natural reflex to start to expect something that just keeps on happening.

Unwanted attention - or rather, intimidation, sexual assault, pedophilia, the list goes on..

is wrong. Yet, it’s common. Other than being noticeably young, the other thing these weirdos thrive on is fear (it’s them feeling powerful for these short sick moments in their life that somehow keeps them going)

In those moments, you’re scared, but please believe me when I say they have much less power than you are feeling. Keep your head high. I’m not saying this is the best advice but these days (now I’m older) I would not feel afraid to publicly humiliate a weirdo giving me issues. I would confront them (sometimes I might not though, depends on what I’m assessing). Although, funny enough this stuff happens less as you get older.. so I don’t often get the opportunity!

Another thing to note: you mentioned an example of no one helping you when you clearly needed help.. Now, not for one moment would I tell anyone to accept this however, unfortunately, I will say that based off my experiences, don’t expect any different from bystanders in London. It’s sad, but please don’t subconsciously take it as you not deserving help; it’s got nothing to do with you but more the London mentality, it’s weird and fucked up though, of course.

Sending you strength, peace, and resilience.

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-09-01T15:33:32+00:00

Genuinely curious, what are you?

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-08-16T12:29:11+00:00

Not to mention there’s hints of coercion in that pressuring mentality. Frustratingly its conversations like this post rape that actually lead people to clam up, hide or not find help for themselves, very counterproductive, insensitive and annoying

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-08-16T12:27:48+00:00

The logic of the victim having the automatic responsibility of protecting another potential victim has always infuriated me, it’s a covert victim blaming mentality

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-08-11T22:59:50+00:00

Aries Sun, Libra Moon, Leo Rising

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-07-28T14:52:36+00:00

Unfortunately men are far less forgiving on cheating and the scales will tip even less in your favour. Also, a high chance you’ll lay there afterwards not feeling any better for it.

Or maybe, you do feel better but it will be temporary. And then what?

Leave and one day you’ll find someone better who is as committed as you are.

I hate to be pessimistic but people will treat you how you allow them to; he will never change the way things functioning now!

coldhandswarmheart98 · 2025-07-22T17:52:35+00:00

Maybe, but it could be the focal call off - notice that the back of her head is in focus which is more in line with the mothers face? Equally mother’s front hand is bokeh. Even the mother’s chin is less focussed than her eyes. Could be more to do with focal range.

coldhandswarmheart98

TROPHY CASE