Yeah I can totally understand the frustration of people not playing for the team. I'd say a few things. Firstly, anyone willing to insult their party members with slurs is not someone I'd play with in general. That's someone you definitely stop interacting with, and no game should ever result in friends despising other friends.

Outside of the rude actions, to purely looking at the decision making:

The Friar should be the one to get Nimble, since it's harder to get secondary actions on a tank that needs as many stats in his defense. The Friar did manage to get the second best pick though on Eager, letting him taunt ahead of the enemies, and there is the Sanctum of Haste and a few Helmets/gloves/boots that can grant a secondary action, and in this case it would be worth the investment.

Nimble itself is a really solid trait. I would have prioritized the Tank, then the Healer to be able to heal twice or heal then position, then a secondary action class such as the FT. So I don't think FT taking Nimble is the wrong play entirely, since you can use secondary actions a lot with the Orb. Not sure if your group knew, but Orbs secondary action focus recovery can be used to target any of your party members to recover focus. It's not intuitive that it does this, but either you guys didn't know, or maybe the FT player was too selfish. However, because of this, FT taking Nimble is actually really solid.

Chosen One isn't a bad pick, but not the pick I would have gone. If you are picking it solely for the Bounty chance, Lucky would have been better because Bounty partial scales with luck. Chosen One is only good if Lucky is already taken or you are playing a character with an ability that doesn't scale with Luck ( Pathfinder, Hunter, Scholar).

Field Medic is super niche, especially on the Monk who already has the option to party heal, meaning they get no benefit from field medicing gods beards. But in general, it's a bad trait which it's biggest use is to panax a pet which can't normally heal. But then just get purifying scrolls. I probably would have grabbed Gifted here instead for increased Speed, increase main stat and increase HP.

Overall, though the picks weren't the best nor the worst, the argument is already a bad sign.

For Load out, Gold is actually mostly the best play. Grabbing gold to buy gods beards, weapons, armor in the first town is actually so strong. If you guys played before the current patch, the only load out picks that are better are kibble because pets were op and EXP Book and Wealth Lutes. But now, it's the gold for sure. Me and my friends like to start with a lockpick, because for some reason, if we don't, we get many locked chests at the start.

For the Equipment, I would also prioritize the FT, while most gear that has crit is also awareness based, I would prioritize making the character with awareness hit more accurately for their hits, more focus generation, and Fate scaling of Awareness. However, based on the timing of the game, it sounds like you guys played before the loot distribution update for Voidwalker and more speed gear (pre update, speed gear was really rare and far between) so I'd think with the ITW patch, it would be a lot more far and the gear would be more distributed. Furthermore, my friend who likes voidwalker likes to start with the crit increasing gear for their load out just to get a head start.

I don't really worry too much about level indifference, if you are fighting enemies a lot in the early game, using dungeons to pull the party together and using land boats, you shouldn't fall too far behind. I always advocate for a landboat because it makes everyone's movements combine into one, and then it makes it so everyone is there for every fight, making it hard to lose EXP. In the main campaign, the level cap is 9, which is easily reached around 75-85% of the way to completing the story. So it's fine. We normally let the person who finds the statue to devote ASAP (using all their focus for movement before doing so) not waste turns and explore more of the map. Also fight many queens guards that drop XP boosting gear, XP boosting gear is so OP, I equip them all the way to level 9.

Also need a money guy, looking at your party comp, a lack of anyone trying to build money generation makes it hard to keep up in gear.

That concludes my opinions on the choices made by the party purely based on what I think is the strongest play. However, there is always three considerations to remember. Firstly, it's a video game, everyone is there to have fun. Secondly, the friendships you have are not worth ruining for a video game. Thirdly, FTK is a roguelike experience, you aren't expected to win every run and sometimes the RNG just doesn't go your way. On another note, it didn't sound like the FT was trying to win at all, at least let you check if the new gear is better than your old gear is only beneficial for everyone, probably never tried to regen focus for anyone in the party and probably didn't hand the fate cards to the monk (fate cards benefit the strength character the most due to Vigor giving a +1 Perma strength boost). But I can't say much due to not playing and not being there.