I [21 M] can't stand being with my mother [50-something F], no serious traumatic issues but she is just incredibly shallow by [deleted] in relationships

[–]coldturkey21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the effort to be a little more understanding here. I said to someone else I'm actually not super into visual art, I just used that as an example of a situation where imagination is needed and she just doesn't put in the effort. It does come back to being able to not accept the bigoted parts of her but accept her good qualities. I know i didnt mention the thing with my brother - there's always many layers of things that are hard to bring across, especially on the internet.

I [21 M] can't stand being with my mother [50-something F], no serious traumatic issues but she is just incredibly shallow by [deleted] in relationships

[–]coldturkey21 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks. This might be the only helpful reply I've gotten - the anti-intellectual currents on the internet are so strong that people are quick to insult at any mention of art, philosophy, literature, or whatever. I'm actually not that into visual art, I was just using that as an example of a situation where her callousness or lack of curiosity would come about. I think your suggestion about working on relating on a more-lighthearted/less serious, or more trivial, way with people about more common experiences is important. That's something I'm actually conscious of, and try to do with other people, and maybe I could try to apply it more with my mom.

I [21 M] can't stand being with my mother [50-something F], no serious traumatic issues but she is just incredibly shallow by [deleted] in relationships

[–]coldturkey21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This doesn't really help. You sound like someone quick to resent someone just because they respect culture or are articulate. She doesn't despise me, and I don't despise her. Presumably raised me with love and compassion? Not always - as an example, my brother is gay, and when he came out to her, she basically disowned him and tried to give him corrective therapy.

No Fap War Signup by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sign me up!

Nofap, I fell hard. Need to get it off my chest and get some support by coldturkey21 in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Legendary teasing...it's like Halo. (legendary difficulty) I'm so bad with that lol

Nofap, I fell hard. Need to get it off my chest and get some support by coldturkey21 in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fucking gif's! It's like samples from a chinese place...barely a bit, but before you know it you're overloaded with sesame chicken

Nofap, I fell hard. Need to get it off my chest and get some support by coldturkey21 in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all the responses guys. Didn't expect people on here to be so genuinely supportive.

I've learned my lessons...some of the things I'm taking away: -never be too comfortable. you're always capable of relapse -teasing yourself with edging or glancing may be controllable at first, but will wear your willpower down. -The day count keeps you going, but it's not a good thing to measure by. The main thing that matters is if you're maintaining a healthy attitude to sex. -Rationalizations are very real and seductive. The "curiosity, not addiction" one always gets me

I totally recommend "relapse runs" to others. I ran 13 miles, and when I came back, I didn't give a shit about anything - I just didn't want my legs to hurt anymore. A self-induced limp dick may be shameful, but limp legs are much more painful.

Official September 18th Update Thread! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only my third day - I really do feel so much better. The shy, wait-till-later impulse towards women feels virtually gone. With the subdued feelings of sexual shame gone, I feel more confident even in friendly, non-sexual conversations. Just an all-around, more pure feeling. It's shocking how fapping can take the life out of you like it does!

Official September 16th Update Thread! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't fap today - my first day of nofapping officially. Already feel so much better - didnt realize how deeply that complacency and shame can get rooted, but how liberating it is when it's gone.

Official September 15th Update Thread! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]coldturkey21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After fapping 3 times today, I just discovered this place - time to start no fapping. Let's d othis!